“Hi, my name’s John Boehner, I’m a Republican, I lead the House, and Barack Obama is a Democrat, he’s the president if you all don’t know that already.
“See, I may be Republican, and Obama may be Democrat but that doesn’t mean we’re different in any way. We work for the same people behind the scenes, each of us are just one side of the same coin. That’s why when you go to vote in 2016, you will be voting for one team, yep, the boys behind the scene.
“So, lemme tell you all a story, the other day I was talking to someone and I thought to myself, why not stop fooling all these idiots once and for all, they keep thinking they voted for someone different but they just got more of the same. I just thought, and thought and thought, and finally came to the conclusion, let’s keep ’em in the dark for as long as possible, hell, they might get angry or something if they really knew how we fool them every four years.
“Anyway folks, see you all later, I’m off to welcome 12 million illegal immigrants into the country and give them free passes to all the goodies. We got half of South America coming over in three months so gotta prepare for that too. Don’t forget to pay your taxes you Americans because without your hard work, we wouldn’t be able to pay for all this unnecessary expense whilst laughing at you.”
