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Thursday, October 29, 2020
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Jobseekers Need to Sign On Every 32 Seconds Says Duncan Smith

LONDON - England - Minister for the DWP, Iain Duncan Smith is in the last stages of putting through a proposal that will ensure jobseekers will be looking for jobs in an effective manner, like every 32 seconds

EU Migrants Could Riot if Demands Not Met

SCUNTHORPE - England - The tiny island of Britain which has endured a mass influx of EU migrants consisting of benefit tourists and job seekers from some of the poorest countries in Europe's former Soviet bloc, may feel discontented and riot if their demands are not met.

Romanian Benefits Cheat Has Benefits Restored After Learning English

READING - England - A Romanian benefits cheat has been rewarded for learning to speak English.

Benefits Street Residents Now All Employed in High Flying Jobs by...

BIRMINGHAM - England - Benefits Street residents who were all previously permanently unemployed have all suddenly been given high flying executive positions courtesy of Alan Sugar.

Benefits Street Looks Great On a 45 Inch HD 3D TV

BIRMINGHAM - England - Throw out your rubbish into the street, it's the next episode of Benefits Street on the 45 inch HD TV.

IDS Too Little Too Late

LONDON - England - The Work and Pensions Secretary, Iain Duncan Smith has introduced a last minute voter placating deal that many say is a little too late for any sort of fix to the mass EU deluge that will occur in January 2014.

Britain Ready to Accept Cream of the Crop

LONDON - England - Britons all over the country are anxiously awaiting the cream of the crop European Union citizens from some of the poorest countries in the EU in 2014.

White House EBT Card Does Not Work Any More

WASHINGTON D.C. - USA - President Obama is in serious trouble and may not be able to feed his family after the Electronic Benefits Transfer (EBT) system across the country failed yesterday.

Poor People Could Be Sterilised Say Ministers

LONDON - England - Ministers at the Work and Pensions Ministry are drawing up plans for the future welfare state which will be implemented across Britain.

Benefit Mother of 11 Who is Given £500,000 Taxpayer House Says...

TEWKESBURY - England - According to a benefits single mother with eleven children all from different fathers, the £500,000, seven bedroom taxpayer funded house, purpose-built for her, is not enough and she may need a bigger house with larger stables to accommodate her horses.

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