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Saturday, November 28, 2020
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Why You’ve Got to Do Your Job Well So You can...

LONDON - England - The government has come up with a new initiative to encourage professionals to work longer hours and get taxed more money so that they can pay off Britain's vast benefits bill better.

Stephen Hawking Signs Up to Universal Credit

LONDON - England - Iconic scientist, Stephen Hawking has signed up to the new Universal Credit benefits initiative brought in by the government today.

Mick Philpott to be Face of Labour at Next General Election

DERBY - England - The Labour party was proud to announce the new campaign today to put Philpott on thousands of leaflets and through letterboxes the length and breadth of Britain.

Iain Duncan Smith to Do Shelf Stacking Says Cameron

LONDON - England - The former Secretary of State for Work and Pensions, Iain Duncan Smith, who was unceremoniously sacked from his post on Friday, will start a new scheme that he helped set up during his tenure in the Cabinet.

Bankrupt Argentina Wants to Move Whole Country to Falklands For UK...

BUENOS AIRES - Argentina - It has finally been revealed what Cristina Kirchner, the Argentine leader is planning to do in the next few months.

Mass EU Third World Immigration Means Death of UK Welfare State

LONDON - England - The already overcrowded British cities are heaving at the seams with people. Resources are pushed to the limit and yet there will be a further deluge when EU restrictions are lifted in 2013 when some of the poorest EU countries will be given free passes to send their poor unemployed unskilled populations to the UK.

Miliband Wants Poor People to Help the Rich Accept Poverty Too

LIVERPOOL - England - Labour party leader, Ed Miliband is proposing in his new manifesto that he will implement programs for enabling poor people to teach rich people how to be poor, because when he's in power he wants everyone to be poor.

Paralympics Proof That Disability Allowance Could Be Cut

LONDON - England - The amazing dexterity and strength of the Paralympians is proof that the government may not need to pay disabled people a penny in benefits anymore say Whitehall insiders.

Britain Could Send First Chavs to Mars By 2021

LONDON - England - The British government have taken on the interplanetary challenge of colonising Mars with chavs by the year 2021, Council sources have disclosed.

Prince Harry Could Have Benefits Cut

LONDON - England - Prince Harry is no better than a chav on benefits, many royal commentators are now saying.

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