Bankrupt Argentina Wants to Move Whole Country to Falklands For UK Benefits Culture

BUENOS AIRES - Argentina - It has finally been revealed what Cristina Kirchner, the Argentine leader is planning to do in the next few months.

“We heard the UK has got a great benefits culture because everyone from the world goes there to get free money, healthcare and schooling. We want the same because in Argentina we are bankrupt. This is why my friends, we are all going to move to Falkland Islands and then we can have same thing British people have,” Carlos Jakalloa, an unemployed Argentine man from the capital city told local news outlets.

Cristina Kirchner says that at some stage, thousands of ships will embark from the coast and sail to the Falkland Isles where the millions of Argentinians will disembark and start building their homes.

“Viva llas Malvina we are all moving there so that we can live on benefits system from the UK. I want 56 inch plasma screen, playstation and all my booze and ciggies paid for, innit,” Rodriguez Domingo, another unemployed Argentinian revealed.