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Bush to Invade Burma

Herbert Walker Goebbels
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Bush to Invade Burma

The United States has been supporting the Burmese (Myanmar) Junta for many years. However, the threat that they will switch their oil revenue currency from dollars to euros is a call for another War on Terror.

George W Bush is now sending four aircraft carriers to the Andaman Sea and is about to attack the oil and gas rich nation.

According to Halliburton, Burmese oil and gas reserves are the fourth largest in the world next to Iraq, Iran and Saudi Arabia.

War on Terror

Speaking to the American people in a Friday presidential address, George W Bush cited many reasons to invade Burma. “Dearest American peoples, our old Junta friends who we supported in the torture of their own people for many years have turned against our great nation by changing their primary oil money from dollars into euros. This is very bad for the USA, because we will not be able to run our gas guzzling 5 mpg SUV’s for much longer. We turned a blind eye to the torture and brutality of the Junta as long as we were getting our fair share of oil revenue. Now things have changed and we’re gonna invade Burma and take all the oil. I urge you all to support the War on Terrors.”

After Iraq, Iran and the oil pipelines of Afghanistan, only Saudi Arabia is left untouched by the mighty US oil corporation (US Government) because they are the only ones left endorsing the valueless dollar.

Burmese Junta Baath Party

Just like the deposed and executed Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein, the Burmese Junta were supported wholeheartedly by the Americans as long as they served America. The US instated and armed Saddam Hussein, using selective justice to achieve their oil revenue goals. The successive US administrations turned a blind eye to Saddam’s various indiscretions like mass gassings and other dictatorial exercises. So long as the oil flowed, the US did not care what he did. They only cared however when he tried to grab some oil fields for himself in Kuwait. No one takes American oil and survives. Further threats prior to the second Gulf War from Saddam to deal in Euros further precipitated his demise.

Darfur and others

Currently there are many parts of the world which deserve to be invaded by the mighty US oil company headed by George W Bush. China is too big a country to invade and although it is a huge threat to world stability, has its uses as a slave labour colony for Hasbro and Walmart. Darfur has not reached the oil benchmark to be invaded by America. Russia has lots of gas and oil reserves but has many dangerous nuclear missiles rotting away in their silos, as well as the ‘gay pin-up’ president Putin to contend with. The plight of the Palestinians is left to gather dust because they are not Israelis and do not have a massive lobby in the US or any oil for that matter.

Halliburton

Instrumental in oil acquisition for the US Government and once headed by Dick Cheney, Halliburton stocks have jumped through the roof once again.

Blackwater is already licking its lips at the thought of another lucrative contract to carry on its unhindered mass killing spree.

Fox News, the media arm of the US oil Corporation a.k.a the USA, has been spouting its rallying cry of ‘ATTACK ATTACK ATTACK’ and baying for more ‘blood for oil’. Bill O’Reilly and Ann Coulter are now at the forefront of the media campaign to inform the American people that America is about to acquire more oil and there is no need to buy any fuel efficient cars yet.

Hollywood Drug Shortage Blamed on Coogan

Herbert Walker Goebbels
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0
Hollywood Drug Shortage Blamed on Coogan

“Aha!” Steve shouts as he gleefully opens up another large packet of cocaine which he dutifully spoons into his mouth and snorts excitedly.

Breakfast time for Steve Coogan in his LA digs does not consist of corn flakes, but crystal flakes of white powder washed down with a large bag of weed. By lunchtime he has consumed $35,000 worth of hard drugs and is still raring to go.

By high tea, Steve is eagerly snorting lines off three call girls’ naked bodies.

Sweating like a pig on acid, he says a few ‘Hail Mary’s’ then demands more and more and more.

The native Hollywoodites are all fed up. Courtney Love has had her supply chain tampered with. She tells him to go back to the Linton Travel Tavern and leave her and everyone else “the f*ck alone.”

Not only has Mr Coogan corrupted the whole of Los Angeles with his bacchanalian fervour, but he has sucked all supplies dry.

Peru and Colombia are having to up the production to keep up with demand. Shortages have not only increased prices, but caused a strain on many Hollywood relationships.

Last week at a party up in the hills, a famous party host was forced to serve only 2 lines on the silver platter. Guests left the party after 15 minutes and a few prospective blockbusters lost major backing as a result.

Studio board rooms are now filled with edgy executives shivering in cold sweats as they grind their teeth whilst trying to thrash out the next Super Hero franchise.

Actor Owen Wilson last month tried to copy Steve but failed miserably. He is now a ruined man, as is half of Hollywood.

It seems Hollywood is not yet ready for the man from Middleton, Lancashire.

Paris Hilton Goes Souvenir Hunting in Rwanda

Herbert Walker Goebbels
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2
Paris Hilton Goes Souvenir Hunting in Rwanda

SPECIAL REPORT FROM THE WILDS OF AFRICA

Amongst a mass of Louis Vuitton luggage – our reporter counts 253 pieces – Paris Hilton’s gesture to the porters to ‘Hurry the f*ck up’ is met with anguish as the malnourished poor fellows struggle in the 120 degree heat.

Paris Hilton, ex-convict, is in the wilds of deepest Africa souvenir hunting for her $8 million Beverly Hills house and is determined to find some memorable items for her mantlepiece.

Miss Hilton’s luxury private jet which arrived on Wednesday was met by the Deputy Foreign Minister Dr Charles Murigande.

Her entourage of 389 staff include masseuses, hairdressers, astrologers, beauticians, makeup artists, dietitians, and her own personal photographers and lackeys from TMZ.

The glamour actress will be guarded by her own troupe of South African mercenaries as well as her newest toyboy acquisition Dolph from Sweden.

Food has been specially flown in and will include the choicest champagne and caviar, with only the best Foie Gras from France. Her private chefs will be preparing the finest cuisine for her five night stay.


Paris Hilton’s private jet at Kigali International Airport all set to fly back to Los Angeles

 

Decked in indulgent couture and diamonds with 24 karat gold jewellery, Paris did not even know where Rwanda was until one of her assistants told her last week.

This is the farthest that Paris has ventured from Beverly Hills and she is excited about her ‘humanitarian’ role.

The people of Rwanda have suffered so much, and now their suffering has been compounded with the indignity of having this disgusting carious trollope peer through her $4000 sunglasses at them.

Travel Itinerary

The less fortunate ones of the third world have had to endure many visits like this from overprivileged socially visible white women and Paris is simply following in their footsteps.

Like her colonial sisters, she will be carried through a village or two on a pedestal, paraded amongst the starving African ‘unfortunates’.

The photo ops will be numerous as Paris throws a few morsels of luxury crevettes onto the dirt floors as starving black children amongst the flies gasp to pick them up from the soil.

The Rwandan Government has been paid off handsomely for the photo op of the century – Paris Hilton feeding scraps to the war-torn victims of mass genocide.

Paris is also hoping to help the Rwandan government and people by consulting on the opening of more houses of ill repute and dirt emporiums in Kigali.

A Little Memento

Le pièce de résistance, Paris Hilton will take away a few Rwandan children as decoration for her Beverly Hills mansion. They will be fed scraps from her table and thus kept barely alive as her pets.

Paris, who likes pets, will keep the Rwandan children with her Kinkajou’s and Poodles until it comes time to dump them for better pets.

She says she will however not be like Madonna and paint jungle scenes on the walls of the African boys’ quarters. Instead, they will be allowed to sit motionless amongst the opulent furnishings and simply look ‘African’.

Paris Hilton will no doubt be the toast of the Beverly Hills Golf Club when she parades a starving Rwandan child on a leash à la Lynndie England.

Soon Lindsay Lohan and all the other Perez celebrity fodder will be clamoring for their own African souvenir trip.

 

Paul McKenna Promises to Make You Slimmer

Herbert Walker Goebbels
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0
Paul McKenna Promises to Make You Slimmer

McKenna is on a holiday in the Cayman Islands and stops off at the tax-haven regularly to check on his millions. He has used hypnotherapy to acquire huge amounts of cash from the general population and is not stopping while he is ahead.

According to his website, Mr McKenna charges £250 plus VAT for the
day-long seminars that promise to “completely re-pattern your thoughts
– and ultimately programme your mind to slim your wallet”.

His bestselling books, with titles like “I Can Make You Rich”, come at hefty price tags of £20.99. We wonder who the ‘rich’ one is here?

After one of his ‘seminars’ you will come out and not remember handing over your credit card or writing that cheque for 250 notes.

McKenna, who owns many palatial residences across the world, has made so much money that he uses £50 pound notes for toilet paper.

Last week after filling the ashtray of his £350,000 Bentley, he had an assistant push it into a quarry so he could order another one.

Paul McKenna, who acquired his PHD’s from very reputable universities, is of course fully qualified to extract money from your wallet and he will continue to do so for a very long time whether you like it or not.

You will now click all the google ads on this page…you are feeling comforted…your mouse is moving over an ad and you will click the ad…they are below and to the right of you in red…you cannot miss them…ahhh there they are… etc..etc..etc...

Size Minus Four Models In – Size Zero Out

Herbert Walker Goebbels
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Size Minus Four Models In – Size Zero Out

I am at London Fashion week and am loving the Size Minus 4 models in town. One of the girls is beautiful in her glorious ‘Rexy’ look. I can actually see her blood flowing through her veins and her internal organs are clearly visible through her translucent skin. The model is wearing a bikini fashioned out of chiffon and it looks fabulous on her.

I ask our resident expert what he thinks of the fabulous Size Minus 4 look pioneered by the fabulous designer Mosher Liebowitz that is sweeping the fashion world.

“Darling, it is so beautiful to see these women walking the catwalks looking like lepers and victims of concentration camps. The fashion business is dominated by us gay men and we hate women. We don’t want women to have curves or be feminine in any way. We control these women and they do as we say. I love the fashion world because it is the only place where us gays have all the power.”

It seems there is definitely a lot of hatred within the fashion world and it feeds down to the brainless models who are sucked in by the cocaine and promise of fame.

Kate Moss, who is actually considered a role model in the skewed world of ‘fashion’, even coined the term ‘Rexy’ in place of ‘Sexy’. She is the poster child of the anorexic, emaciated cocaine-fuelled vapid fashion model and she defends her crown with more stupidity every day.

Size Zero is now out the window and Size Minus 4 is in. The Auschwitz look is the new standard in the self-hating world of fashion models.

I ask Pablo how his stable of models maintain their skeletons.

“We house the models in a closed quarter at a secret location in Milan. There are bars on the windows so the models cannot get out. However, they do not have enough energy to walk more than 15 meters anyway. We feed them one piece of lettuce a day and a trolley comes around with cocaine or amphetamines every half an hour. They are allowed to drink water, but nothing else. Last week we had 3 of them die on us, but we replaced them immediately and now the new recruits have already joined the Elite Modeling Agency. If possible, we begin indoctrination and brainwashing at the ages of 14 and younger.”

What can be construed as dedication to their homosexual masters is merely stupidity for these poor souls who have been misled into believing that female beauty does not have curves.

Self-loathing is the key to the fashion world, where punishment and agony is applauded and suffering is drowned out by Colombian marching powder copiously smeared into their frazzled amoeba brains.

15 Yr Old Boy Awarded ASBO For AK-47 Shooting Skills

Herbert Walker Goebbels
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1
15 Yr Old Boy Awarded ASBO For AK-47 Shooting Skills

The 10.32 from Manchester central was all fun and games today when a fifteen year old boy who has already been awarded nine ASBO’s added one more to his trophy cabinet.

The Home Secretary flew into Manchester personally to award the boy his ASBO and also rewarded the youth with an all expense paid trip to Disneyland in Florida in recognition for ‘shooting skills with an AK-47 rifle in a public space’.

The jubilant winner has been named as Kevin Sponger of Moss Side, Manchester.

He was initially spotted by an elderly woman who was shot at with the AK-47 assault rifle, only to be grazed on her ankle by a barrage of machine gun fire. After replacing the spent magazine the boy continued demonstrating his amazing shooting skills by picking off a station worker from 235 yards to jubilant applause from his fellow ‘chav scum’ friends.

A Greater Manchester Police (GMP) spokesman said: “Based on the information we had at the time, a careful assessment was made by a senior, experienced officer as to whether they could leave urgent paperwork relating to minor traffic offences to pursue a real crime.

“As there was only two shooting victims and no traffic speeding offence it was decided that an ARV (armed response vehicle) was not necessary.

“However, as a precaution, community support officers were sent to monitor the scene from afar and let the criminal walk away.”

Manchester, which is renowned for teenage gun play, is now winning the ‘city death league’ with an average of 153 fatal shootings per day. Lagging behind is Liverpool with only 85 fatal shootings a day.

 

 



 
Expanded view of the boy showing off the shooting skills that won him an ASBO award 


Colombian police officers on a fact-finding mission to the UK last month spoke of their fear that their country may end up like Britain.

Chief Inspector Sosa from Cartagena said, “I am in awe of Britain, it is a war zone there. How do your police deal with the deaths and mass crime sprees?”

The British Police officer who was meant to oversee the visit was not available for comment due to an engagement with a desk and about 250 forms to fill in for a petty shoplifting offence.


AK-47 Assault Rifle Information

The AK-47 (Avtomat Kalashnikova 1947) is an assault rifle used in most Eastern bloc countries during the Cold War.

It was designed by Mikhail Kalashnikov and was one of the first true assault rifles due to its durability and ease of use. It remains the most widely used assault rifle.

The AK is simple, inexpensive to manufacture and easy to clean and maintain.

Its ruggedness and reliability are legendary and has been adopted by British youth gangs for this very reason.

Britain’s porous borders have allowed a roaring trade in the AK-47’s which are smuggled in from the former Eastern bloc.

The assault rifles can be picked up for as little as £70 in a pub car park somewhere and are increasing in popularity daily, dropping prices even further.

Archaeologists Find Preserved Mummy in Milan

Herbert Walker Goebbels
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0
Archaeologists Find Preserved Mummy in Milan



The 1,500 year old mummy is of a woman in her 50s, believed to be an elite member of the Gianni tribe.

The archaeologists from Italy and the US found the mummy at a site called Casa Casuarina on the west coast near Milan.

They have dated the mummy to about 450 AD.

Unclear death

The presence of fine items such as gold jewellery
indicates the woman was an important person, anthropologist John Versace of Miami University in the US said.

There were also large amounts of cocaine found on the body, especially under the nose, suggesting the woman enjoyed snorting copious amounts of the ‘Devil’s Dandruff’.

But the presence of war clubs surprised the archaeological team.

“Perhaps she was a female warrior. She certainly looks very brutish and would scare the living daylights of most men in battle,” Mr Versace said.

The archaeologists believe she had given birth at least once, but do not know how she died.

The discovery is reported in the September issue of the National Geographic Magazine.

Bush’s Radioactive Dinner Jacket Party Plan in Iran

Herbert Walker Goebbels
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0
Bush’s Radioactive Dinner Jacket Party Plan in Iran

The Strait of Hormuz (26°34’0.00″N,  56°15’0.00″E), a narrow passageway connecting the Persian Gulf with the Arabian Sea and separating Iran from the Arabian Peninsula, is one of the world’s vital oil transit chokepoints and famous for the fact that over 20% of the worlds oil goes through it every day.

The Neocon and French party will be hosted by the Iranian contingency headed by the smiling Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

Oil prices after the dinner jacket soiree will undoubtedly rise to over $450 a barrel.

There will be widespread panic as the bombing party unleashed by the US jets slam into nuclear material holding sites, thus spreading wonderful radioactive dust all over the middle east.

The Israeli contingent will not attend the celebration, but have ordered the US and French to attend the party for them.

The Persian controlled Strait will then be closed for an indefinite period by being blocked by a sunken tanker or two.

‘meanwhile, back at home’

There will be no need to drive a car after this happens because no one will be able to afford any petrol, let alone find any.

Food of course needs to be distributed to the shops, but the fact that there will not be any fuel to do so will inevitably lead to no food in the shops, thus leading to anarchy and unrest.

Governmental oil reserves are only valid for less than a week in most western countries, plus these are only used for emergency services and the army.

 

One last reckless killing spree before the fun is cut off for George


Citizens residing in the West are therefore advised to start hoarding food or growing their own fruit and veg, as well as acquiring bicycles.

The consequences of multiple strikes on Persian nuclear sites by the American, Israeli, French team is apocalyptic, but totally permissible, because people like Cheney and Bush have bunkers – they survive whatever happens. You don’t.

China: 4 MPH Road Speed Limit Upgraded to 6 MPH

Herbert Walker Goebbels
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0
China: 4 MPH Road Speed Limit Upgraded to 6 MPH

China will initiate its first ever nationwide “6 MPH speed-limit increase day” this weekend in an effort to promote highway efficiency on urban roads, state press said Monday.

Residents in 108 cities will be able for the first time to increase their speed by 2 MPH on the nation’s first “6 MPH speed-limit increase” on Saturday, the China Daily reported.

“The move is an attempt to raise residents’ journey times in the country’s cities. Instead of traveling at 4 MPH they will now be able to travel at 6 MPH even at peak times,” the paper proudly said.

This brave move has been made possible by decreasing traffic levels by 1.2 billion vehicles so that the remaining 2 billion vehicles can now drive on the roads at increased speed.

Government officials and state-run enterprise employees in some cities would be encouraged not to drive, while other urban centres would ban government-owned cars from taking to the roads altogether, it added.

A week-long campaign to publicise the government’s goal of getting 8 percent of the nation’s urban residents to use public transport instead of private cars would also be initiated, it said.

China’s car industry has been a key component of the nation’s booming economy with vehicle production rising by 62.7 percent in July compared to the same period last year.

Downtown Beijing vista on a sunny clear day

 

Beijing, which will hold the Olympics, has a visibility of only 1 metre on a good day.

The air pollution created from 45 million vehicles on Beijing’s roads is so bad that it is equivalent to smoking 400 cigarettes a day and ingesting huge amounts of lead directly into the lungs.

Alan Greenspan Admits Iraq War was Really for Oil

Herbert Walker Goebbels
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0
Alan Greenspan Admits Iraq War was Really for Oil

The striking revelation that the Bush Government lied to its people and invaded Iraq for oil has also been compounded by news that the sky is blue, Fox News is a Neocon propaganda lie-machine, bears are linked to excrement in the woods, the Pope has ties with the Catholic church and George W Bush is a lying war criminal who should be impeached.

Greenspan is quoted in his biography as saying: “I am saddened that it is politically inconvenient to acknowledge what
everyone knows: the Iraq war is largely about oil.”

There was surprise around Capitol Hill at the astounding revelation that oil conquest was the chief reason for the illegal Iraq invasion. One US Republican Senator, Bill O’Coulter, who is on the board of directors of Halliburton, spoke out against the claims. “I’sa tells you’se peoples, I knows in my heart that our great commander in chief invaded Iraqs because Saddam was a bad man and wuz gonna send rockets to the US of A in 15 minutes, he had weapons of mass destructions and nucelear missiles ready to go, we had to invade them because Saddam invaded America on 911, he wuz responsibles I know cuz the CIA said so and so did our President.”

Sixty five percent of the American population still believe and are told by their media daily that Saddam Hussein was responsible for 911.

Greenspan who is a coward, of course did not voice his opinion at the time. He wholeheartedly endorsed the invasion which was a violation of the U.N. Charter and as such a war of aggression and therefore a war crime.

The oil fuelled greed operation and occupation of Iraq has to date caused the deaths of over 750,000 Iraqi civilians and the deaths of over 3500 US soldiers. It has caused the largest mass displacement of people in the middle east in modern history as well as causing one of the largest environmental disaster zones ever through the distribution of depleted uranium en masse.

US Soldiers died for oil profits and not to protect their nation. They were lied to and have been made a fool of.

There are no surprises from a country which tried to impeach Bill Clinton for receiving a blowjob and yet refused to impeach a President who has murdered thousands of humans for profit and has taken the USA into further debt and near collapse morally as well as monetarily.

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