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Gordon Brown Calls for a Tax on Recession

LONDON - England - Gordon Brown will introduce a new tax on recession in addition to all the other taxes he has already foisted on the people.

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The tax-happy PM, Gordon Brown has announced a new taxation on the people of Britain who he is systematically punishing.

Britons still have two more years of punishment to endure of the unelected and out of touch Prime Minister Brown.

Because Britain is in deep recession at the moment due mainly to Mr Brown’s dodgy ‘boom and bust’ tax-heavy wasteful policies of utter misery and stupidity; his cabinet of idiotic troglodyte neo-Stalinist cowards want to tax the plebiscite further.

“The populations of Britain have sinned, therefore we are going to tax you further. Because the whole country is in deep recession and inflation is at 35%, we will tax all those who are in recession,” Brown announced on Tuesday.

The economy is in serious decline as is the FTSE 100 of leading shares, pensions are now next to worthless, tax is the highest in the world including fuel tax which makes up 70% of the price, the housing market is in free-fall and unemployment is rising daily. There is no respite for British families, especially with the cost of food rising by 90% in 5 months as well as increasing council tax and heating bills.

The new taxation initiative by Brown will charge people who are living in ‘Recession Britain’.

“The Labour party will put a tax on everyone who lives in this country if there is a recession going on. Citizens will only be charged £2600 per annum for as long as the recession carries on in the economy. The people should be glad about this small charge because Gordon will bring in a new tax of £6500 per annum for when the country is not in a recession. Therefore, count your lucky stars,” John Barnacle, a reporter for the socialist newspaper, the Guardian wrote in his weekly column.

Further taxes will also be introduced by the Brown regime on citizens who try and avoid the crippling road tax charges for petrol cars which are to be introduced soon.

“You don’t think Gordon is going to let owners of zero emission electric or hybrid cars get away without paying the immense taxes? British motorists are the biggest ‘sucker cash cows’ in the world. Under Labour, motorists have been taxed off the road. Users of electric/hybrid vehicles will also be taxed heavily by Brown to compensate the loss of tax revenue from fuel duty, road tax and emissions tax. Furthermore, a new scheme will be introduced very soon of road pricing, which will charge all vehicles irrespective of emissions. Satellite tracking will be compulsory very soon thanks to Labour,” an anonymous source for the Road Transport Network revealed to the Telegraph’s Motor supplement on Sunday.

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  1. Bring it on!! The quicker petrol prices hit £10 per litre the better. That should force vehicles off the roads, transport companies into liquidation and hypermarkets to close. Then we can all enjoy the wonderful green life that Gordon Brown has been banging on about. More corner shops will open, farmers will be able to charge whatever they like for their produce and employ many more workers because their overheads will be reduced – they won’t be able to afford to run farm vehicles. Just think of the progress this great country will make. We’ll stand head and shoulders above Zimbabwe.

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