Ed Miliband’s long lost brother, David, was seen at Heathrow airport today.
“I just thought I’d fly back to Blighty for awhile, nothing special, exile in America is rather cumbersome, and to tell you the truth boring. I’m certainly not back because the knives are out for Ed, I’ve got a few knives still stuck in my back but that’s another story,” David Miliband told a waiting reporter on Thursday.
Naturally, Dave’s brother, Ed, was nowhere to be seen at the arrivals terminal
The silence on Ebola is deafening, and there may be a danger to this silence some might say, however health care officials think the virus is better out of sight, out of mind.
“The media have been told by agencies to hush any news about Ebola. You may have noticed a deafening silence, although the Ebola is still ravaging Western Africa and flights are still carrying infected people across the globe. It’s now a silent spread with zero reporting. Please do not worry about anything, because if the media does not mention this deadly virus, that means it is gone, vamoose, outta here,” Dr. Bill Edwards, a consultant for the U.S. Department of Infectious Diseases didn’t tell any news outlets yesterday.
Everything’s okay then, Ebola has been eradicated completely. Nothing to see here folks, move away.
Whenever politicians cite ‘change’ there is always an ominous side to their proposal, and experts at the Institute of Population Control, an independent non-governmental organisation, have outlined some of the problems that may occur when this ‘change’ is enabled on populations.
“Politicians may use certain words to describe their policy ideas, for example ‘austerity’ means redistribution of wealth from the poor to the rich thus the term really means ‘poverty’. As for the term ‘change’, this has multiple meanings but is close to the word ‘destruction’. For any ‘change’ to occur first one must have destruction of the prior system, and this is where the problems arise for the populations who are only accustomed to the prior system. Another term that is widely used but misinterpreted is ‘climate change’, which is simply a term describing the problem of over-population. If climate change is mentioned, it means quite simply, that populations have extended their usefulness and have to be reduced, of course for the good of the planet.
“Change is thus a term used by politicians as a euphemism for destruction, whenever you hear those words, be prepared because they may smile when they say it, but their words mean a totally different action. The 21st century, has been named as the century of change, and even though we are in the early stages of the century, there will be more to come, on an almost infinite escalating scale. In 2001, the young century certainly started with a bang, with 911, a spectacular symbolic gesture of ‘change’. Current, U.S. president, Barack Obama is also a stout proponent of change, and his destructive powers have been put to full effect over the course of his tenure.
“Technology will move from outside the body and be placed within. Humans will not be able to make transactions without specific technological entities implanted in their bodies. The merging of humans with machines is an inevitable evolutionary step, and those who fight this all important change, will be left behind, they will not be able to feed themselves or find employment. Artificial intelligence will reach increasingly dizzying heights as humans are left behind, and this jump in machine intelligence will also be a key factor in assimilation with man and machine, for to not do so, will mean certain destruction by the machine.
“Naturally, there will be discontent and rioting, however the superior military and technological strength of the state will put ‘change’ into place one way or another. Civil disobedience within movements of change are an inevitable symptom, and the controlling factions positively welcome them, purely because it gives them an opportunity to mete out their pent up violence as well as test out stratagems of population control.”
The Reality Television virus, never before observed in healthy people, was found to affect cognitive functions including visual processing and spatial awareness.
Scientists at Rupert Hodgkins Medical School and the University of South Carolina stumbled upon the discovery when they were undertaking an unrelated study on Reality TV.
Surprisingly, the researchers found that watching reality TV shows turns you into a vegetable or alternatively a moronic imbecile with an intelligence level lower than a stone.
Dr Mulrone Yokem, a virologist who led the original study, said: “This is a striking example showing that the ‘innocuous’ reality of the reality TV glut has irreparably adjusted human existence for eternity destroying its capabilities for intelligent thought.
“Watching any shows with the likes of Simon Cowell or any other similar reality program will devolve your brain to the level of an amoeba. You’ll be so fucking stupid afterwards that your brain will literally ooze out of your ears. We named the virus after Simon Cowell himself, who is a very important phenomenon in the reality tv world, it’s called C-NTU”
Of the 90 participants in the study, 40 tested positive for the reality TV virus. Those who tested positive performed worse on tests designed to measure the speed and accuracy of visual processing. They also achieved lower scores in tasks designed to measure attention.
The findings of this research show that mainly stupid people are attracted to reality television, but the funniest part of the research reveals that these stupid people get even more stupid after watching these shows they are so attracted to.
A source from a production company from one of these reality shows revealed: “We want people to be comatose. That’s our plan, the more stupid people get, the better. Keep watching, and do not bother thinking you insignificant toads, get more stupid, do not think, do not awaken, you must spend more money on us, keep watching, you’re lower than the dirt on my shoe.”
The study’s findings were published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.
“The caliphate monster we created got too big so we had to bomb it. Don’t mess with the empire. We got cameras everywhere, listening devices, satellite cams that can see the sweetcorn up your ass from space, and drones that can release killer missiles from anywhere in the world. You Caliphate pussies wanna mess with that? Thought not,” a CIA operative on the ground told CNN.
No doubt, there are thousands of waiting Caliphs behind the scenes if Al Baghdadi has eaten the big Jihad in the sky.
As the DS mentioned months ago, any form of resistance is always futile when you do not have air superiority. Jihadis are just sitting ducks wherever they go, but they’re still living in the 15th century so how would they know about flying machines?
“Yeah, I’m a special ops soldier, and I talk about stuff to everyone, including the press. I just can’t stop talking, and talking, and talking. You want to know anything that’s secret, I’ll talk about it in bars, in Walmart, in restaurants, hell I love talking so much I talk to anyone who wants to hear? I hope they ain’t agents from another country or something huh?” U.S. Navy Seal, Bill bin Tawkin, told all news outlets around the world yesterday.
It’s a good thing this Navy Seal is not behind lines in some North Korean bunker being interrogated about state secrets and key operational procedures.
One rouble at a time, it falls and falls, causing mayhem in the Russian exchanges. The West is adamant that its policy of lowering the global oil price is nothing to do with Russia.
“Nah, are you kidding? We’re engineering a lower global crude oil price because we want more motorists to have the feel good factor, it’s nothing to do with destroying the Russian economy,” Secretary of State, John Kerry told the Wall Street Journal.
As the tanks roll into Ukraine from Russia, it is the West’s pervasive action of provocation which is slowly bringing the world to the brink of war.
(Speaking at the Labour Party Head Quarters in London, Comrade Miliband’s appearance in the rostrum was greeted by party members with loud cheers lasting several minutes. The entire assembled inner party rose to its feet to greet Comrade Miliband. There were continuous cries of “Cheers for great Miliband!” “Long live great Miliband, Hurrah!” “Cheers for our beloved Miliband!”)
Comrade Miliband:
Comrades!
I have heard news from my spies there have been some odious malcontents within the party who are not happy with my leadership. I say to them, you are finished. They were removed from their posts this morning and escorted to the farthest point from our head quarters, two roads down, on the left past the McDonalds and WHSmiths. We will not see them again because they were not worthy of my 5-year-plan, they did not have the commitment or the peoples interest at heart. Not like you my fellow Soviet heroes.
Comrades, I say to you, are you ready for the fight? Are you ready to unite the people once again as Comrade Brown so boldly managed in the past? Then let us move forward to smash the capitalist scum and their corrupt system of bourgeois-democratic liberties. Let us beat their heads upon the unstable capitalist system that profits off crisis and catastrophic wars.
I will implement a full British Soviet social system which will be a genuine people’s system, it will grow up from the ranks of the people and enjoy powerful support; so that the British Soviet social system is fully viable and stable form of organization of society.
Our revolution is near Comrades, and I would also like this opportunity to introduce Commissar Brand, who will be in charge of all revolutionary matters on the streets and champagne filled celebrity soirées.
You all already know Commissar Balls, he will be in charge of the Peoples Bank, as well as rations for the proletariat.
My eternal 5-year-plan will never be thwarted, not by traitors, capitalists, lickspittle bourgeois charlatans or my brother in exile.
In conclusion, permit me to express my thanks for the confidence which you have shown me (loud and prolonged applause. A voice: “Cheers for the great leader of all our victories, Comrade Miliband! “) by nominating me as a candidate for the Supreme Soviet Britain. You need have no doubt that I will do my best to justify your confidence. (All rise. Loud and prolonged applause rising to an ovation. Voices in different parts of the Labour Head Quarters: “Long live great Miliband, Hurrah!” “Cheers for the great leader of the peoples!” “Glory to great Miliband!” “Long live Comrade Miliband, the candidate of the entire people!” “Glory to the creator of all our victories, Comrade Miliband! “)
“We have the Obola virus under strict quarantine and it is up to GOP officials to keep this highly contagious strain of virus under watchful eyes. Please remember to shut your eyes and ears if you encounter Obola on any media, especially where Obola flourishes in depositories like MSNBC,” a CDC official told networks today.
There are still extreme dangers around everywhere for the public, and Obola can make a resurgence infecting even more people, wreaking havoc amongst the populations, so stay vigilant and on your guard.
Thank you for reading this, this was not a public service announcement but if you wish to show your appreciation for helping the public with important information that can save your life, please bookmark this site to check for more crucial updates at later dates.
Former British PM, Gordon Brown does hold some similarities to current US president Barack Obama, although Gordon Brown was not technically voted into office because he shoehorned himself into the job after an internal coup against Labour PM, Tony Blair, there are similarities in their ruling style.
Both Obama and Brown hold severe Marxist views and this political doctrine always falls foul of a nation’s economy, chiefly because socialism utilises other people’s money for an unlimited welfare dream, however, what happens when that money runs out? Obama and Brown knew their policies were unsustainable and yet they continued to push forward their policy of spend and forget.
It’s not only their preponderance to spend vast amounts of taxpayer cash on welfare, but the useless socialist projects and cronyistic spending that eat up the limited budget.
Just as Brown became prime minister out of nowhere, so too did Obama become president, a man with literally no past, multiple social security records and a questionable birth certificate. They were seemingly implanted out of nowhere by invisible hands.
Help always comes too late, there are of course those in government who see what is going on and want to stop it, but are powerless.
In Britain, an emergency coalition government had to be formed after the disaster of the Brown years was ended thanks to an actual election.
In America, the Democrats have lost power in Congress, leaving Obama flailing around in the dark with little or no power. His only option now is to adopt the scorched earth policy that Gordon Brown adopted nearly a year before he was ousted from power.
Obama will probably use various techniques to bring America to a complete impasse, politically and economically, maybe even racially.
If the Republicans win the general election in 2016, will they want the country back after Obama’s vindictive scorched earth policy? America will need a miracle to survive the next two years, a nation split in two in more ways than one.
One thing is for certain, just as Brown despised the people, Obama feels a deep resentment towards the American people and when that happens, there is always friction. If you pull the elastic band too far at once, eventually it has to snap back, and America’s midterm elections were a relative reaction to six years of Obama abuse.
Scorched earth policies usually work as reactions to reins of power being pulled in, they have to be subtle but effective, and Obama, the enlightened one, will blame the un-enlightened for their own demise.
The Republicans will not be able to stop president Obama in reaching his goal, it was too little too late, the cackling from the likes of O’Reilly and Beck fall on deaf ears.
America could have had destruction the easy way or the hard way, looks like they voted for the latter.
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