Iranians Say They Want to Paint Obama’s Head on First Nuke Missile

TEHRAN - Iran - Attallah Mahmoudi, the Iranian Chief of Nuclear Arsenals claimed today the first ballistic nuclear missile that has been given the go-ahead to be built, will have a picture of Obama on the side, as an "appreciation of the president's great work".


“We want to say a heartfelt thank you to Obama, without his assistance we would not be this close to making our first nukes. When that thing gets blasted off, it will have a big fucking smiling face on it, as a symbol of how we duped the Americans in their own demise, helped, of course, by the naive president who knows nothing about geopolitics or world affairs. Hell, my seven-year-old kid knows more than that idiot,” Mahmoudi said whilst chuckling like a hyena.

The so-called brokered agreement promises to lift sanctions only on the proviso that the Iranians curtail their ‘known’ nuclear program, which is in effect another naive wish from the president and will never be honoured by Iran.

“We already have the silos filled with Intercontinental nuclear missiles, and we got a man to paint Obama’s head on the front and sides. When those babies lift off, that will be the final countdown,” Mahmoudi added.