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Why Swedish Girls Are Biggest Prize For Illegal Migrants into EU

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Blonde, blue eyed, pale skin and bodies that would make Amazonions green with envy, there is serious delight in the eyes of the millions of men crossing the Croatian and Hungarian borders en route to Sweden.

No Lagom

“I don’t care about the free apartment, free food and money to spend, all you have to do is a Google image search for Swedish girls and you will see the delightful women waiting for us with open arms. In a few years time the waters will have been darkened as we get to work,” Abdullah Jamil, from Lahore, Pakistan revealed on the Hungarian border.

The resourceful Swedes are even handing out guide books on how to have sex with Swedish people for the illegal migrants crossing the borders into the country.

Sweden is now an EU country where the population rise is set for a boom in the coming years.

Indeed, the pull factor is overwhelming and the internet has been an amazing eye opener for some cultures that have very closed Islamic societies.

“The EU has opened their arms to us, and here we are coming. I’ve seen whole villages cleaned out at home. As soon as they say come, we are already gone. We must of course thank the Swedish socialists for their welcome and the young ladies who will be greeting us. I can’t wait to get stuck in, It’s like IKEA except with pussy, and they’re socialists so they cannot say no,” another migrant yelped whilst making crude actions with his hips.

swedish-girls

The migrants do have a point about socialists, they do not say no to anything, and this is the catch, their daughters are free game for the millions of blonde-lust driven men with wild eyes and straining testosterone fuelled trousers crossing the EU borders looking to park themselves on a lithe blonde socialist nymph who cannot say no, especially as the migrants do not even understand what the word ‘no’ means.

Having spent their lives in Islamic countries there is finally a light in the tunnel, a Swedish tunnel.

“You see this?” migrant points to unsightly bulge in trousers, “It’s coming to Sweden!”

You are all welcome. Come.

Native Americans Will Have The Land Back One Day

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Here is the transcript from the tribal leader who lives in a reservation far from any city or town.

DS: It is a great honour to be speaking with you great Chief whose ancestors once roamed the great plains of America.

Chief: Yes, we roamed the plains, we hunted, we fished, but we never disturbed. We respect nature and give back what we take to survive. That is not the case today and the last 400 years. Our ancestors passed on their secret knowledge about the universe and it survived the mass murder by the white man. We still hold this knowledge today.

DS: Has the white man brought anything to you and your people that is positive?

Chief: No. Nothing. Our shamans foresee worse to come, for what they have done to this earth, corrupted everything, poisoned all things, they will lose everything faster than a blink of an eagle’s eye. Their greed and evil will be their own undoing. Then we shall have the freedom of the land once again, it is not our land, but we shall once again roam the plains and forests, the creeks and the deserts. They used to call us savages, but what they have done is worse.

DS: What kind of timeline are we talking about?

Chief: Very soon my friend. I cannot say in your years, but when it comes you will know about it. There will not be much time and it will be fast and the years after the event, if you survive, there will be much hardship.

DS: What can those who are knowledgeable and in tune with the earth’s sacred spirit do to prepare?

Chief: You must first prepare your mind, for what you will see will not seem real. You must prepare your soul, make it strong, and you must prepare your skills, in nature. Brave. We have been waiting for centuries for our ancestors saw what is to come. It is a waiting game but the Native Americans have all the time in the world the white man has not.

DS: You run a pretty successful casino here in the reservation.

Chief: Yes, we are using the white man’s greed to sustain ourselves. There are many surviving tribes like us who know what is in limitless supply. White man’s greed. We then take their money and use it to prepare for what is to come. These people are not spiritually connected to the earth. We will survive, they will not.

DS: Thank you for your words of wisdom great chief. That was the last question in the interview.

Chief: Now smoke this pipe and think of the task ahead. America is dying from within. The time of purification and renewal is coming. Peace be with you.

Umpqua Shooter Shot Christians Yet Idolised Christian Catholic IRA

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According to news reports the gunman in Thursday’s mass shooting at an Oregon community college specifically targeted Christians, three witnesses said, while online accounts linked to the shooter expressed disdain for organized religion.

From the limited information being released for whatever agenda by the authorities, it is therefore a viable conclusion that Christopher Harper Mercer was just a very confused person because he targeted Christians yet idolised a Christian Catholic terrorist group.

Our conclusion, the shooter was a simplistic idiot of the highest order, but a useful idiot for an agenda which will no doubt be a good addition to the anti-gun faction.

One must also understand that the standard of education in America at state level is extremely poor and millions of Americans are totally misinformed, holding simplistic skewed black and white views based on ignorance about any given subject matter, therefore adding guns and prescription drugs into this unholy mix makes for a deadly soup of bullets and violence.

Here is a video of sectarian violence between Loyalist Ulster Protestant Christians against Catholic Christian Republican children and parents going to the Holy Cross school in Ardoyne, Northern Ireland, 2001. This video highlights the terror and hatred that religious factions mete upon themselves on a daily basis, where even sects within the Christian religion display brutal violent behaviour.

 

Blyat! Time to Start Learning Russian?

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Thanks to Obama’s inadequacy in world affairs, you also better get used to eating Okroshka and guzzling gallons of vodka whilst driving your Lada through the streets of Cheam.

Here are some useful phrases in Russian, for you may need them soon:

Polozhil avtomat Kalashnikova , ya ne golosovat’ za Obamu. — Put down the Kalashnikov, I did not vote for Obama.

U menya yest’ svezhiy vodku dlya vas , ne strelyayte. — I have some fresh vodka for you, do not shoot.

Moya drugaya mashina Lada. — My other car is a Lada.

Dobro pozhalovat’ v Nuneaton — Welcome to Nuneaton.

And to prepare yourself for life under the Russians, don’t forget to watch a few driving videos.

Блядь

 

Shakespeare’s Romeo Was a Creep According to Feminists

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Speaking at the #killallmen symposium for feminists held this week, the feminist revealed that Shakespeare should be banned because it shows women in a submissive and subservient light.

“All Shakespeare plays are sexist misogynistic hate-speech and should be banned. We are especially campaigning for the removal of Romeo and Juliet because it portrays so-called love between a man and woman. Romeo is a total patriarchal stalker creep because he did not give Juliet a chance to think about her true feminist lesbian sexuality and in the end drugged her with poison to kill her when Romeo’s hateful stalking did not work out. At least that’s how we think it went. But we’re making our words heard about this hateful play and want it banned immediately.”

 

ROMEO

She speaks:
O, speak again, bright angel! for thou art
As glorious to this night, being o’er my head
As is a winged messenger of heaven
Unto the white-upturned wondering eyes
Of mortals that fall back to gaze on him
When he bestrides the lazy-pacing clouds
And sails upon the bosom of the air.

JULIET

O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo?
Deny thy father and refuse thy name;
Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love,
And I’ll no longer be a Capulet.

Military Experts: Russians Take Syria

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“What we have here is a chess grandmaster who has used pin and skewer tactics to effectively immobilise the opponent. Putin is at least five or six steps ahead of Obama and his strategy is starting to hurt the ailing president, or self-proclaimed king as he likes to be known.

Checkmate

“Russian ground, sea and air forces are now being bolstered by a Chinese carrier that recently landed at Tartus.

“Unfortunately, the U.S. is now on the ropes in Syria, and because of Obama’s inexperience in military, strategic and tactical matters, it is too late for any American involvement, especially boots on the ground.

“Our advice is simply to call in the game and halt any thoughts of action in the region because it is too far gone for any valid resolution. To continue with even a limited air campaign could set off World War III.

“If, however, World War III is the intended goal by the Obama administration, then their strategy is working.”

Can Idiots Be Identified By Their Fingerprints?

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The researchers claim their findings could prove useful not just for idiots everywhere, but also for morons and assholes who seem to inhabit daily life across the planet.

Professor Iddy Otte, an anthropologist at Kentucky Fry University, who led the study, said: “This is the first study to look at this issue at this level of detail, and the findings are extremely promising. There are fu**ing idiots everywhere. Jeez, I just found out I’m married to an idiot.

“This finding also tells us that there’s a level of variation in idiots like you have major idiots, really dumb idiots, morons, useful idiots and darn right assholes.”

The researchers, whose work is published in the American Journal of Physical Anthropology, examined the right index fingerprints of 456 individuals.

Professor Otte, who worked on the project with student Nichole Moran, said: “The Level 2 detail that was significant for idiots was total bifurcations, like it was totally off the scale man.”

It raises the possibility that there may be more details contained within fingerprints which may help trace a person’s idiot ancestry.

“That means idiots go down the line, hell, your whole family tree could be populated by idiots and assholes. This research just blew us away”

The ongoing research project also tested former president George W. Bush and found out he was actually not an idiot but just a total asshole.

Are you an idiot?

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Corbyn Regurgitates Mush During Labour Conference

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Comrade Corbyn was speaking about the delightful food at the conference and how the menu is modelled on his five-year plan for the populace when he comes to power. Pity the mush did not quite agree with the comrades palate.

“Comrades, I had the most delightful mush for lunch, and as your leader I eat the same food as you will be eating for the rest of your sorry miserable lives once I become Soviet Britain’s comrade in chief.”

food for the masses
Corbyn’s five year plan will condemn Britons to eating mush as their staple diet

During the speech, the Labour leader was seen convulsing and holding his stomach when steaming hot bubbling mush erupted from his gullet splattering the podium spectacularly.

A smiling commissar immediately rushed to the ailing leader and wiped the foul smelling gunk from his red face.

Bon appetit.

Experts: Social Media Bubble 2.0 Ready For Download

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Wall Street insiders know that the time is up, and they’re cashing in whatever they can get on the already ailing social media index of stocks. As for the retail traders, they won’t realise something happened until they read it in the next day’s papers and it will already be a far gone conclusion.

Zuck that!

“If I was Zuckerberg I would have cashed in months ago, but it’s probably too late for the chump, especially when he lies back at night thinking about all that money that disappeared down the drain. C’est la vie as they say,” an analyst at some brokerage firm babbled yesterday.

Prepare for some reality on those ridiculous valuations from these data mining operations which have outlived their usefulness.

 

‘Failure of the Cross’ Words by Pope Usher in New Global Era

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Let there be peace on earth, a peace that can only be achieved by total unity of all factions of humanity into one group.

“We need to remember that we are followers of Jesus Christ and his life, humanly speaking, ended in failure, the failure of the cross,” the pope was quoted as saying during his appearance in New York at St. Patrick’s Cathedral in Manhattan for the evening prayer.

Indeed, the cross has had its day, and the spectre of the former Christ must now be viewed as an ultimate failure.

“Pope Francis, this chap is a standup guy. Nationalism and different religious factions are the enemy of global unity, therefore they are to be assimilated into a singular world purpose. We must put the symbol of the cross behind us, and the pope himself acknowledges this task on the to-do list,” a member of a shadow government department relayed yesterday.