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Backstage: What Trump Really Thinks About His Followers

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Ever the narcissist, Donald Trump loves his rallies. This is where he gets to talk to the wild-eyed brainwashed citizens he dupes with false hope, promises he will never keep and utter lies that drop out of his gorilla lips like a festering turd from an old man’s diarrhoea soaked underpants.

In plain sight

“I’m selling these people hope. Look at them, they adore me. I could tell them anything and they would believe it without question. Not one question comes from their poor mouths. These fucks. Backstage, we laugh so hard. I put one up on these poor hypnotised morons, and they eat it up like it’s a filet mignon from my bankrupt Trump steak house. To tell you the truth, I feel nothing but pity for them, they ain’t got no money, they smell, and I hate poor people. You know poor people disgust me. If it were up to me, I would have all these people in the crowd taken to a farm and processed. Hey, at least we could make some fucking money off of them then. Sure, some of them pay taxes, but it ain’t enough. Fleecing these poor bastards has been the easiest job I ever had. Pack ’em in, pack ’em in, roll up you chumps, eat up the Trump. I hate ’em,” a disgusted Trump was overheard telling one of his aides on Tuesday.

Brexit: Ve Haff Vays of Making Ze Comedy

The Heute Show is such an attempt, and although may bring up a few chuckles – purely because it’s a bunch of Germans trying to be funny – in the end it’s a dire display of the desperation emanating from the leaders of the EU at the moment.

There is a resoluteness to the British people the Germans just do not understand, and it seems they never will.

With news that MEPs in the EU parliament who voice their dissatisfaction with Brussels are now being shut up and the cameras turned off, we are slowly witnessing some of the totalitarian un-democratic nature of the EU.

To stay within such an institution of dictatorial imprisonment is decidedly un-British, and however you may vote on the day, Brexit must be the only correct answer to this EU tragedy.

End it now.

FA Cup Semi Finalists Learn Wembley Fate

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Manager Quique Sanches Flores has led his side on a tremendous cup run this year and will be hoping his side can make the final, capping off an excellent season for the Spaniard in his first year in English football. In the other half of the draw, the winner of a quarter final replay between West Ham United and Manchester United will face off against Everton, after the Toffees knocked Chelsea out of the famous competition.

With this year’s competition proving to be one of the most open in many a year, through the lack of big names reaching the latter stages, it may well be that yet more surprises are on the way leading up to the final. Although there may be doubts as to whether they can win or not, the likes of Watford and Crystal Palace will certainly be looking to put themselves in a position to do so by reaching the final on May 21st. Betway currently offer Everton as the favourites for glory this year, in what would be their first FA cup success since 1995, with each of the other four teams still involved matched with odds of 5/1.

For Manchester United, a late goal from Anthony Martial helped them to salvage a draw in their tie with The Hammers, and now face a difficult away trip in London, as they look to equal Arsenal’s record of twelve FA Cup wins with success this year. For United manager Louis Van Gaal, the competition could well offer him his final chance to win silverware with the Old Trafford based club, as a disappointing two seasons in charge has led to calls for his departure. With Jose Mourinho heavily tipped to replace the Dutchman, Betway offer odds of 1.25/1 on for the former Chelsea manager to be in charge of United next season.

With many sections of the football community feeling that the FA Cup has lost some of it’s magic in recent years, coupled with FA plans to scrap much loved and financially rewarding replays, a surprise victory from an underdog this year could well inject some much needed life back into the historic tournament.

In collaboration with Blue Note Marketing

The Emotional Turmoil of American Liberals During the Trump Ascendancy

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At first it was laughter, disbelief, here was this loud mouth fat fingered vulgaraton going for the presidency, but then came the wins, the crowds, and ultimately the American socialists were suddenly compromised. What were they to do?

Trump has trumped, huffumped, kerrumped and blown down the house, and yet amongst the religious extremists and nutjobs who support him, his strength grows daily. For heaven’s sake, even Camille Paglia is writing doting articles about the man.

Bernie Sanders? He has no chance. Hillary Clinton? She has a chance, but her controllers need to act fast in cutting Trump off at the pass, they’re going to need some pretty radical techniques to put paid to the man who likes a fight, in fact, encourages it at every turn.

Knight to E5: Putin’s False Retreat

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Nothing is further from the truth though, Putin, the chess master, is simply effecting a false retreat as an observatory measure.

Just as the Americans and NATO drew Putin out of the shadows so they could observe his new military hardware, a veritable treasure trove of information has been gathered in a few months, Putin will now sit back and wait for the next move by NATO.

The Russians will still keep a few bases on the ground, strategically placed, and on standby.

This war, will be long, a game of cat and mouse, and the winner will have to be patient.

 

Who Dares Wins – Brexit

 

Tony Millhouse, the film’s director says the new film will “knock you off your fucking feet!”

The film is set in 2016 Britain and involves a fiendish plot to rig the EU Referendum so that Britain stays in the EU and hold the British people under ransom in an EU regime of totalitarian dictatorship where every facet of life is dictated by faceless eurocrats in a foreign country.

“This time the PM doesn’t send in the SAS, because in the film, the PM is a bad guy, and so are most of the Cabinet. It’s up to someone within the government who fights for Britain and is not a treasonous slime ball to save the country,” Millhouse revealed to Empire magazine.

Get Out Your Inflatable Goiters the Ghost of Peter Sellers Needs Your Help

A day does not go by in the illustrious Daily Squib offices when we do not have an episode of Pink Panther on the video screen. We love every moment of Peter Sellers as the indomitable Inspector Clouseau, and it is to this end that we must urge our readers and anyone else who sees this to assist with a proposed labour of love.

The Ghost of Peter Sellers, is a story of the crumbling genius of Sellers in his last years, someone who had such Mercurial talent that destructive forces would sometimes visit to counteract the creative frenzy.

Support the documentary by donating as much as you can. If you have ever been touched by the genius of Peter Sellers and Spike Milligan, please help bring back to life some of the moments that occurred in 1973.

Latest Apps and Games in 2016

 

It seems that there are now slightly more apps for Android than there are for iOS devices. This is also the trend in the online casino industry. There however an increase in casino apps compatible with iOS Devices. Amongst betting apps of 2016 you can also find the best football betting app in the business.

Top apps so far in 2016 include;

Glow baby feeding tracker– the app helps mothers keep track of their baby’s development.
BuzzFeed Video – the free app gives you access to videos and shows from BuzzFeed.
TapTapSee – the app is designed for visually impaired and build people. As the name suggests you tap the screen of your mobile device twice and the camera takes a picture. The contents of the picture are read out using the devices TalkBack feature.
VHS Camcorder – is a paid app that allows users to create videos that look like they were taken by a VHS Camcorder.

One of the top new releases in the gaming industry for 2016 is The Walking Dead: Michonne. This is obviously based on The Walking Dead franchise. It is centred on the Michonne character. The game is quite a thriller. Updates to popular games like CandyCrush and Swing Copter were also released early in the year

In the online casino industry the 2016 roulette app has been making waves. The game has improved graphics and gameplay specifically designed for mobile devices. There have also been several new iOS compatible mobile casino apps at the beginning of the year. It is saddening to note that some of the casino apps are operated by rogue casinos. Online gamblers need to be weary of such casinos.

 

Clarkson: Never Mind Me, Just Doing a Favour For a Chipping Norton Set Friend

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“You do me a favour, and I’ll do one for you. That’s why when fellow Chipping Norton-ite Dave called me up the other day, I took the call. He said, do us a favour Jeremy, can you endorse staying in the EU, and I said, gosh, sell my soul for a bunch of krauts, dagos, frogs and wops? But then he reminded me of that time I was sloshing around with the Aston and aherm, and that other thing, well, aherm. Anyway, here’s to the EU, let Britain stay in it. Besides the Germans and Italians make exceedingly good cars, so what’s there not to like?”

Poor old Jerry, looks like the PM has got him by the gangoolies..

Vote Trump: The Purge Anarchy

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You want America to be great again.

You are sick of the crime, the poverty, the poor, the ethnics, the Muslims.

You want law and order.

You want business, prosperity and a return to real education.

Good. All you have to do now is vote Trump. He will make America great again. He will introduce the Purge.

In his third year of office, President Trump will introduce the New Founding Fathers and the Purge.

America will once again be great, enjoy reduced crime, prosperity and unity.

Blessed be our New Founding Father, Donald Trump and America. A nation reborn.

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