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Five Millionaires Who Blew It All

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But what about the complete opposite? Incredible stories of people who seemingly ‘have it all’, flying high with the private jets, the mansions and all the trimmings of the rich and powerful, until…

Take a look at the following five stories of the 1%, who took an almighty fall from grace.

1. MC Hammer

Rappers have a reputation for spending money faster than they can earn it, and that’s
exactly what happened to our friend MC Hammer. While hitting the big time and earning
hundreds of millions of dollars on a stellar music career might encourage us to blow off
some steam, I doubt many of us would splurge on TWO private helicopters, y’know, just in case one’s in the shop…word on the street is that he owes over three quarters of a million dollars to the IRS in back taxes. We guess when it comes to his finances, you seriously can’t touch this.

2. Terence Watanabe

Whatever the worst day of your life was, we would make a bet it doesn’t compare to the
single day that Terence Watanabe lost $5,000,000 in one casino. As part of a year-long
gambling binge, he lost $127 million in 12 months, between two Casinos in Vegas alone.

That’s a whopping amount of money to blow. Makes me feel a lot better about weak spot for the major millions slot game. Ouch!!

However, before we feel too sorry for him, his bets that year totalled $825 million, helping
him become a Vegas tourist attraction in and of himself.

3. Allen Stanford

Everybody loves a villain, and one of the most public millionaire shamings of all time has to
be Allen Stanford’s infamous Ponzi scheme. Stanford, and his company The Stanford
Financial Group donated millions to politicians around the globe, notably in Antigua and
America.

Worth hundreds of millions of dollars, who could have known that he was paying back
investors with new investments from elsewhere? In 2012, Stanford was arrested by the FBI, sentenced to a life sentence of 110 years, and slapped with a fine of more than $12 billion.

4. Nicolas Cage

Nicolas Cage might be one of the world’s most recognisable actors, but he also declared
bankruptcy in 2009. While he was once worth a pretty hefty $150 million, he clearly has a
history of somewhat odd purchasing decisions.

His buying habits tend towards the ridiculous, from a collection of shrunken heads to a 67
million year old T-Rex skull, which cost him $276,000 and turned out to be stolen property.

5. Spencer and Heidi Pratt

There’s little better in life than watching smug reality TV stars get their just desserts, so
when Spencer and Heidi Pratt, of The Hills fame announced that they had garnered a
$10,000,000 fortune from basically making fools of themselves on television, the world
waited for them to get their comeuppance. And we didn’t have to wait long.

Around 2010, the Montag money began to run dry, and in 2012, Spencer admitted that Heidi believed an asteroid was going to hit Earth on December 21st 2012, giving them no reason to hold onto their fortune. Spoiler alert: It didn’t happen, sending ‘Speidi’ back to live with dear old Mom and Dad in financial ruin.

So there you have it folks. The advice you can draw from this is seemingly limitless. If you
find yourself in possession of tens of millions of dollars, try not to gamble it all away in the
space of 12 months, ‘invest’ it in priceless stolen relics which remind you of Jurassic Park, or throw it all away in fear of the apocalypse. You’re welcome.

The British Movie Star You WON’T Want to Work For

This must-see commercial, was essentially designed to show that PlayOJO is not like traditional online casinos and is a fairer brand that benefits players by – among other advantages – giving them money back on every bet. The 30 second spot, features Bell in the starring role as a disgruntled employee of the casino who is infuriated that the company would give money back to players on every bet because that’s not how a casino is run. He quits on the spot in a rage, biting a pen in half and spitting it out before storming out of the office.

He looks around at his fellow former team members and growls, showing ink-stained teeth. He then proceeds to make a spectacle of himself on his way out of the workplace, by stapling a plush toy to a pillar and crushing a sandwich in his hands.

The commercial is as only as good as it is because Bell is a master of role playing. His rugged looks, commanding presence and comedic actions and expressions is what injects life into the scene.

In the commercial, he literally transforms into a volatile boss you wouldn’t want to work for. You know, the one you’d be afraid to look at the wrong way or share an opinion with. That guy.

Of course, it’s not just commercials that bring out the best in this lesser-known movie star. Geoff Bell is a respected and skilled British actor who has been in the film industry for nearly three decades. He has an amazing ability to take on difficult roles and really make them his own. What’s more, for being a lesser-known actor in Hollywood, the man has starred in some pretty big movies.

The most recent (and terrible) King Arthur film from Guy Ritchie aside, Bell has been a part of many incredible movies and television shows. When it comes to major blockbuster films, he typically makes a cameo appearance or has a minor supporting role. You can find him in movies like Girl with the Pearl Earring, RocknRolla, Stardust, Making Waves, The Business, War Horse, Scoop, and Rogue One. ​

That said, if you really want to see Bell in all his glory, you need to check out one of his best known films, Green Street Hooligans. The 2005 movie is about a Harvard undergrad who moves to London after being wrongfully expelled and encounters a violent underworld of football hooliganism. Geoff Bell plays Tommy Hatcher, the rival of the main characters played by Elijah Wood and Charlie Hunnam.

Other notable roles for Bell include playing the captain of England’s football team, Gary
Wackett, in the 2001 film, Mike Bassett: England Manager. The character was a parody of
Stuart Pearce and was known as Wacko in the movie for being a violent centre back.

Bell also starred in the popular 2015 action-adventure comedy, Kingsman: The Secret Service. He played Dean Baker, the abusive stepfather of the film’s protagonist Gary “Eggsy”, played by Teron Egerton. Even though Bell did the role justice, unfortunately, he won’t be returning in the movie’s sequel, due out later this year.

As you can see, Geoff Bell tends to be cast in dark, dangerous and villainous roles, which is what made him a no-brainer choice for OJO’s commercial.

Scaramanga Vows to Get Back at Trump After White House Firing

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“I have invited Donald to my little secluded island off the coast of China for a duel to the death. I have a very special surprise for the Teflon Don, Nick Nack will greet him when he lands on the beach, and the deadly duel will start from there, of course only after a brief civilised luncheon,” the fired communications director, Scaramanga revealed on Tuesday.

Apart from being a deadly shot, Scaramanga also has a distinctive extra appendage to wow the ladies with.

“Yes, I have three nipples, it is a sign of greatness, and I also pride myself in being a paranoid schizophrenic.”

The President, who was instrumental in the firing of Scaramanga says he has accepted the invitation to the secluded island only on the proviso that he gets to take Goodnight with him back to the White House as his new plaything. Shush, don’t tell Melania.

Apparently Americans Too Drugged Up to Work

The lack of skilled workers in America is causing a serious problem amongst employers as many are too drugged up on opioids to even get out of bed, let alone conduct a full day’s work.

“We had some guy come in for the drug test, he was so doped up he could barely open his eyelids, then when it came to the urine test he took out a prosthetic penis from his pocket and threw it in the glass jar. The dude just didn’t care one iota,” general manager for a tire manufacturing company in Wisconsin told his local newspaper.

The drug of choice is a cheap opioid called Fentanyl, one hundred times more potent than morphine, imported from Chinese drug factories working 24/7 shifts to ship to the good ol’ US of A.

Another employer for a garden tools company in Minnesota would come into work some days and find his employees floating in the ceiling area.

“I’d have to get one of our rakes to get these fellas down. Some were so far gone that a pitchfork in the rear barely got a reaction.”

Many economists blame the drug craze on the loss of manufacturing jobs outsourced to Chinese factories, and if this is the case, it means that not only is China raking in huge profits from manufacturing sub-standard cheap goods for the U.S. market, but they’re actually poisoning the American work force with cheap opioid drugs.

drugged up on drugs

The former president, Barack Obama, also legalised marijuana use in many states, and it is well documented that smoking weed slows people down.

“I smoke two joints for breakfast, then move onto the couch. That’s when I start rollin’ all day long,” another unemployed man told newspapers.

Federal Reserve Chair, Janet Yellen has proposed a cure for the drugged up American population.

“We need to counteract opioid drugs with picker uppers. Like say for example I took two pills of Fentanyl, well I need to counteract that with some crack cocaine, a smidgeon of pcp, some meth, four lines of coke, and glass of cold water poured over my face. Then I’ll be workin’ like a motherfucker. We need speed, speedie Gonzalez, have those racks of hub caps polished in under a minute, stack those garden tools in thirty seconds, you know what I mean, sniff?”

Arsenal – Dare to Dream of November

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But, if the past as told us anything the gunners will be wrapping-up their season by November.

As Charlie Eccelshare, writing for the Daily Telegraph says “As the clocks go backwards at
the end of October each year, so invariably do Arsenal.”

But why? When historically their best months are September and October, do the gunners
never seem to make it unscathed past that all important November?

Don’t run so fast, you might fall down

As October draws to a close, you can imagine the mums and grandmas of our favourite
football heroes sitting them down for a good talking to.

Think about last year’s’ injuries in November alone, including Oxlade-Chamberlain,
Wilshere, Ramsey, Rosicky, Walcott, Arteta and Ospina. This led to Per Mertesacker calling
the team “a bit knackered” after they struggled into a draw against Spurs. In the last 10
seasons, they have suffered no fewer than 80 – yes 80 November injuries. You can see why
their parents might be wishing they had joined the chess club at this point in time.

Don’t look directly at them

Let’s call a spade a spade, the other reason why November is a cursed month for those
Arsenal boys, is that they keep being put up against, er… better teams. Y’know, the ones
who seem to win the league every year. Whether it’s Chelsea, Man City or Man United,
Spurs or Liverpool, these all seem to come up in November, and they just can’t seem to
hack it.

FOOT2.0

In the last ten years, aside from the 2011 season, they have faced one of these teams in
November without exception. In 2011, their points per game hit a November high of 2.33, in comparison to their usual November average of 1.59.

With all this info at hand, it’s probably a bit worrying that this November sees them facing
Manchester United, Tottenham, and Manchester City. I certainly won’t be whipping out my phone and using my sky bet android app to bet against the odds.

It’s too late for 2017, but maybe they can request to go up against some really bad teams for November 2018, that should sort that darned curse out once and for all. “Hello, Sunderland? It’s Arsene Wenger here. Small favour to ask…”

2017 Season

But all jokes aside, the real question is, can Arsenal keep their head above water this
November to remain serious contenders for the Premier League? Or are they doomed to
keep repeating the same mistakes?

If Arsenal have any chance to do something different they have to keep Alexis Sanchez
happy but after missing the first game with Leicester with an abdominal strain, and the
rumours circling that he is not long with the team, it doesn’t look great. That, coupled with
the seasons low projections for them, estimating that they will do at best fourth, encourages fans to lose support from the get-go.

It’s going to be an uphill climb for our boys in red and white, and at this point, it would be a huge surprise if they managed to pull a brilliant November out of the bag. But hey, who
doesn’t love surprises?

Dunkirk: Triggered Feminist Wants More Women Fighting in WW2 Films

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“My main issue with Dunkirk is that it’s so clearly designed for men to man-out over,” Mehantara Boner, who writes in some woman’s magazine whines, adding, “The packaging of the film, the general vibe, and the tenor of the people applauding it just screams “men-only”.

In her staunch feminist article, Boner has called for all World War II films to import women fighting in the front lines to show equality.

Although this would not be historically accurate, the writer says that having “female platoons in Iwo Jima, Guadalcanal and Dunkirk, would make the films more accessible to women, instead of just showing men fighting and being male-like”.

Even though millions of men sacrificed their lives in both world wars, this is not enough for modern feminists who become triggered by images of men fighting on boats and beaches.

“Like look at Saving Private Ryan. Spielberg should have put Scarlett Johannsen somersaulting out of the landing craft on D-Day, dodging bullets whilst shooting thousands of Germans in their parapets, then helping male soldiers with their wounds simultaneously laying down suppressing fire all the while applying another pristine lacquer polish to her nails as she brings out the bangalores.”

“Dunkirk felt like an excuse for men to celebrate maleness—which apparently they don’t get to do enough. Fine, great, go forth, but if Nolan’s entire purpose is breaking the established war movie mold and doing something different—why not make a movie about women in World War II?” Boner continues whining.

“What about the Pacific, in the jungles, they were all male soldiers fighting and in the films, that is all you see. Why could the directors not put in female role models onto the battle scenes with the Japs? Again, we could see Wonder Woman characters jumping into battle as bullets cut down the men. The females would of course, be immune to bullets and karate kick their way through whole Japanese platoons with not so much of a sweat.”

For feminists, the hatred of men is so great that they cannot even stand the thought of seeing the sight of male sacrifice on the battlefield.

This is what men have done for centuries, yet the modern feminist is disgusted by this, they do not understand that if it were not for these brave young men fighting and sacrificing themselves on the beaches and in the jungles for the Allies these women would probably not have the freedom to write their claptrap anti-male clickbait nonsense today.

It would be a beautiful and just day to see how these feminists would cope in such a hostile battlefield, on Omaha beach, on Peleliu island, as the bullets whiz around them, and the bombs rip bodies apart. To see your buddies legs blown off in front of you, the blood soaked sand, slipping on entrails and blown out brains. It is most certain they would not last three seconds in a real battlefield scenario.

AA Chief Falls Off Cliff

Mr Mackenzie held the roles of chief executive and chairman at the London-listed roadside assistance company.

“We fired him for gross misconduct. We found him wandering the halls of the main HQ building only in his underpants with a woman’s bra over his head talking about the ‘Jibbly Jabbly Doo’s’. He then ran into the cafeteria and forcibly took one of our dinner ladies, Irene, 74, by the hand and started dancing with her on top of the counter. After that traumatic scene, Mr Mackenzie, still talking gibberish, did not realise his scrotum was dangling below his underpants entered the boardroom where executives were hashing out an important deal with Chinese investors. The Chinese investors who were attending the meeting were not at all happy when Mackenzie picked up two pens pretending they were chopsticks, and with squinty eyes started talking about ‘Fu Manchu’ and ordering a ‘numbah 42’ as well as a ‘special flied lice’,” Chairman Steve Burrows told the Financial Times.

Shares in AA fell by 37.7 per cent to a record low of 132p following the news. The precipitous fall of AA shares looks like a cliff face, and today it just kept on dropping and dropping.

Shark Week: Michael Phelps Loses Both Legs to Great White

“We boated out to Cancun, Mexico and dropped loads of chum in the water to attract some Great Whites. In about five minutes, we had a 26 foot long Great White shark swimming around the boat,” series producer, Mikey Voss, told the NY Post.

What was meant to be a 100 metre race with a genuine Great White shark then turned to disaster.

“Michael Phelps got on the start line and the shark was approximately three metres behind, so Phelps actually got a head start. He dived in the water and started swimming. At first, the Great White shark did nothing, then when Phelps was half way through the race, it kicked in and drew up behind him,” Voss added.

As the Shark Week organisers and experts desperately tried to make the shark veer to the left of Phelps instead of following him, disaster struck.

“Phelps was dragged under the water and we heard a blood curdling scream. You actually heard the crunching sound as the Great White bit down. We filmed everything, even the part when the shark’s eyes glaze over as it attacks,” cameraman, John Weiss, revealed.

The Shark Week episode will be aired in September, however some parts will be excluded due to the nature of the content.

Michael Phelps, who lost both legs above the knee in the attack, is still recovering. He says that he will resume his swimming career and compete in the Paralympics.

“I’m just happy, Shark Week fans eventually got the footage they wanted,” Phelps said from his hospital bed.

INSIGHT: Healthcare in the USA

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According to reports from the USA, if you get severely ill and are hospitalised, you have to pay for the treatment.

For long recurring medical conditions, this can mean whole families can have their lives ruined financially ending up in the loss of their homes, as well as their lives.

HOW HEALTHCARE WORKS IN AMERICA

a) To afford to pay for healthcare private insurance, you have to have a high paying job to pay the large monthly costs and premiums.

b) If you do not have healthcare insurance and get sick, you are shit out of luck from receiving premium treatment and are usually referred to low tier medicare which has a very long waiting list. However, you can turn up at a proper hospital and demand treatment, the hospital will usually treat you then give you a large bill at the end of your visit, bankrupting you.

c) A normal treatment at a hospital which would cost you nothing in the UK, will cost Americans over $64,000. For protracted treatment, it can go up to the millions.

d) Most health insurance in America does not pay for certain illnesses, so unless you take the time to read the small print (which insurers can change at any time) then you will have to pay the full cost of treatment regardless of the fact that you pay full whack for insurance.

e) Don’t forget the fact that when you have health insurance and receive treatment you have to also pay an extra cost as a deductible. This sum can be quite large depending on the treatment cost and the insurers whim.

f) Apart from the threat of losing your home if you get sick in America, there’s the additional threat of losing your healthcare if you lose your job. The amount of stress this causes most Americans actually makes them sick, which is in the long run good for the medical and health insurance business.

g) According to the United States Census Bureau, in 2012 there were 48.0 million people in the US (15.4% of the population) who were without health insurance.

h) Some Americans deliberately commit crimes so they can go to prison and receive free healthcare.

i) If you are from outside the US, and travelling in the country you must make sure you have the correct travel insurance. If not, and you get sick, you will be stuck in the USA indefinitely until you pay off your vast hospital bills.

j) None of the above relates to the NHS in the UK as all treatment is free.

Prince Harry and William: “Let’s Open Up Another Can of Worms From Years Ago”

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Yes, it’s good to talk in this millennial age, where people are urged to talk about their deepest anxieties, their deepest secrets, and their most vulnerable thoughts, but is it conducive to a royal family member to do such a thing? One must remember that the royals have a multitude of enemies lurking in the shadows waiting to pounce on the tiniest crack or tiniest of vulnerabilities to be exploited.

Prince Harry, not the brainiest chap in the world wants to tell everyone about his mental issues, especially regarding the death of his mama, and then comes Prince William later on saying a few words here or there about his issues, however what may have been an innocent looking confession will now come back as a large bite.

Already the gutter press are getting ready to post those ‘lost’ Diana tapes where she speaks to her voice coach. The people posting the videos are citing Harry and William’s need to talk as the reason for them dredging up this soon to be money making video. The damage to the royals will thus be another plunging knife into the monarchy and its rotting sarcophagus.

Pont d’Alma Temple de Diana

If Harry and Wills knew the truth, of which they must suspect, about how their mother was dispatched, they would nonetheless be not so keen to air their dirty laundry in front of everyone.

Diane_de_Versailles_Leochares

We will never know why all traffic cameras were mysteriously switched off in Paris on the night of Diana’s death, and why she was kept in the tunnel where the crash occurred for over three hours whilst the hospital was less than a mile away. As for the driver, who was an MI6 asset, we will never know why he slammed the car into a pillar or any other detail research theorists have dredged up.

The fact that Diana was to marry a Muslim Egyptian and was pregnant with Dodi Fayed’s child will not be revealed any time soon either. How could the Windsors ever carry on with this stuff going on in front of them and blasted around the world news, where the Princes mother had mixed with Arab blood? There is no question that this state of affairs was intolerable to the royal family and something had to be done sharpish.

The princes thus need to learn to keep a dignified silence if they wish to keep their places. All this self indulgent nanny talk is useless and only hurts their own interests, as well as the British monarchy. Besides, they would not like the answers they found if they themselves investigated the sordid Diana ritual on that fateful rainy Parisian night.

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