Gwyneth Paltrow: “I Like to Steam My Brussels Sprout”

LOS ANGELES - USA - Hollywood macrobiotic darling, Gwyneth Paltrow, has described in lurid detail how she steams her Brussels sprout every day.

The Gwyneth Paltrow kitchen is a pink temple to clean living and Hollywood celebrity fads. The actress’ many mesmerised followers always want more from her.

Speaking from the Soggy Box cafe in Santa Monica, the actress gave an account to lifestyle show, Flange, how her daily regimen is good for her health and well being: “There’s nothing like steaming. Ya know, I was looking through my warm glove box and was chuffed to find a cute little euphemistic recipe book there about steaming. I’m allowed one Brussels sprout a day so I got home and got my steamer out. A piece of wet lettuce, moist, crunchy right next to it on a plate, it was a paradise slice in a lady garden of dripping pink heaven. There were no badly packed kebabs or greasy meat curtains here stinking up the joint, just good ol’ wholesome steamed snug sprouts. That reminds me, I must have my vagina steam cleaned so it’s nice and tight.”

Next week, Paltrow will discuss how she consciously uncoupled herself from the temptations of a burrito.