17.7 C
London
Thursday, October 3, 2024
secret satire society
HomeEntertainmentBritney Spears Celebrates Freedom by Going On Drug Fuelled Rampage

Britney Spears Celebrates Freedom by Going On Drug Fuelled Rampage

LOS ANGELES - USA - Britney Spears will celebrate the end of her imprisonment from conservatorship enforced by her father.

FREEDOM! Cry freedom! Britney Spears has been imprisoned by her controlling father Jamie for years, and now the time has come for Britney to be allowed to spend her money as she pleases, as well as go as insane as she wants to, it’s her right after all.

Despite living in a multi-million dollar mansion, Britney feels like she has been hard-done by, especially as the conservatorship by her father, Jamie, only gave her an allowance of $120,000 per week, which meant tough times for the free spending mime pop starlet.

“Can you imagine having everything taken care for you, everything paid for, living in a huge mansion where you can only spend $120,000 per week? Also, they drugged her, they gave her huge amounts of drugs which must have really frustrated her. Her suffering must have been unbearable!” one Britney fan told E! News.

Britney was filmed flying a plane and saying she was “on cloud nine” after hearing of the end of her conservatorship. The pilot had to take back the controls of the 747 before Britney plunged it into a mountain whilst squealing like a banshee on peyote.

Another Britney fan yelped: “Forget the imprisoning of Nelson Mandela, the imprisoning of Britney Spears is the real story of oppression! People will talk about this for years, and it will be in the history books!”

Remembering Britney’s famous melt down which prompted the conservatorship in the first place, the paparazzi are raring for more Britney exclusives since she is now a free mentally deranged woman on the loose in the Los Angeles metropolitan area.

“We’re parked outside her doorstep day and night now because she’s gonna have one hell of a freedom party. She may even shave her head again, or start smashing cars all over the place, maybe overdose, who knows? This is all part of the pap game, we never know what these insane spoiled brats are gonna do next,” Buzz Nacho, a paparazzo for Neon Photos in Los Angeles, revealed.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!