Many formerly mild mannered Christians have taken to Britain’s High Streets in utter outrage that Greggs bakery supplanted a picture of Jesus in the Manger, for that of a sausage roll.
Reverend Miles Kettering, 62, was caught in the village of Bell End, Worcestershire, by MI5 operatives this morning in a dawn raid with two Kalashnikov machine guns and an assortment of home made bombs. It is believed he was getting ready to assault the local Greggs Bakery in the village.
Mavis Butterworth, 87, a regular church-goer at Bell End church, was shocked by the whole affair: “Reverend Kettering was to his flock a mild mannered good Christian who was very kind to us all. This is why it is such a shock. I fear, however, that the Greggs sausage roll pushed him over the edge.”
Meanwhile in Scratchy Bottom, Dorset, it is believed some choir boys from the local church had been brainwashed into wearing suicide vests and told by the congregation to target Greggs bakeries within a twenty mile radius.
“They were told that if they avenged the depiction of Jesus as a sausage roll they would all go to heaven and receive 72 piping hot sausage rolls for eternity,” Janice Frampton, 75, told the local newspaper.
Across Britain, many formerly mild-mannered Christians seem to have been triggered to act, as this sausage roll Greggs fiasco has spread across the media.
To counteract the possible attacks, Greggs has 24 hour armed guards standing outside each bakery, with concrete bollards and perimeter fences safeguarding the bakeries.
won every competition he participated in along with his team from Jamaica. Bolt had planned to retire from the sport immediately after the athletics world championships in 2017. Unfortunately, he had to accept a crushing defeat in the 100m final when Justin Gatlin defeated him. The event was a disaster for Bolt as he finished third in his final race. He retired gracefully because it was just a lapse in performance, which ensured his defeat. Bolt was considered as one of the 
was scheduled to participate in the individual and relay events in London. She had succeeded in the European relay gold in 2012 and also won medals in 2014 effort from finishing fifth at the Rio Olympics in the 400 m. She too turned from hero to zero at the London Athletics championships when she was found guilty by the new stand-alone drug testing and the anti-corruption team of the International Association of Athletics Federations.
for women to finish at the bottom and to continue the disappointing show of India in the world Athletics championships on the fourth day. She had left India with a personal best score of 51.28 seconds as a hero but clocked 53.07 seconds in the semifinal to return to India as a zero. Doping has been quite popular with athletes for quite a long time and Ben Johnson was perhaps one of the most popular names that initially came to light. Johnson had also won an Olympic gold medal in the 100 m event but was later stripped of the medal because of his involvement with drugs.
