A squatter has taken over Number 10 Downing Street.
Rubio Maldani contacted Westminster Council about the situation and said he was woken up at 2am one night with the horrendous sound of “wailing”.
Westminster Council got involved following complaints from residents and served the squatter with a noise abatement notice.
Enforcement officers visited the building on Thursday after the Conservative party applied for a possession order to be enforced through the 1922 Committee. It is understood the squatter still refuses to move out despite a pending hearing.
Mr. Maldani said he and a neighbour had seen the mess made by the squatter.
“Sofa’s were piled up against the door, the windows barricaded, and the stench was something awful.
“Night and day, this awful wailing sound would emanate from the building, then more shouting and the sound of objects being thrown around.”
A spokesman for the Conservative party, Arthur Butts, was adamant that the situation will come to a head soon.
“We’ve tried everything with this squatter, but she still refuses to leave. It is coming to a point where something has to give, does she not have any form of dignity or thought for her own party?”
The Conservative party HQ are even thinking of sending in the SAS to halt this ridiculous standoff.
One thing that is not delved upon regarding the EU is its expansionist policies which are necessary for its very survival.
“Without constant expansion, the EU like any other empire will not survive. This is why it is asserting its authority with increasing urgency and plans to conquer more land further to the East.
“The undoing of Napoleon was Russia, and the undoing of Hitler was Russia, but the EU’s forward plan is to swallow up economically as many states as it can closer to its arch nemesis Russia before moving in for the economic and military conquest of that expansive nation.
“We must look at the EU as a reverse of the Third Reich. Where Hitler went wrong was to pursue conquest first militarily, which was his eventual undoing. The EU however conquers nations without military might but economically and is now only pursuing an EU army late in its development. From that standpoint, the EU then eviscerates the entire conquered nation from within by paying off corrupt politicians/institutions, and from there dictating its strict regulatory laws upon the conquered nation.
“Hitler was not able to conquer Britain and was defeated not only by the resilience of the British people at the time, but by the Channel. The EU for forty years has taken over Britain, its laws, its regulations and economy, as well as the British parliament where two thirds of the MPs are under the payroll of the EU. Business in the UK is now almost completely dependent on their EU masters, and this is why it is nigh on impossible to extricate itself from the EU even after a conclusive victory by the Brexiteers in the EU referendum of 2016.
“European history always stops with Russia. The tenacity of the Russian people must never be underestimated, even through economic hardship, they have always survived. Stalingrad, a symbol of the pure will to succeed of the Russian resistance to conquest where fighters fought their German adversaries just a few yards from being pushed into the river Volga, is a story that will always serve as a lesson to military historians on the futility of invading Russia. The German sixth army, were eventually surrounded from both sides, their men stranded, underclothed in the freezing conditions, abandoned by the senior officers and generals, ultimately forgotten by Hitler who was in Berlin declaring victory over the Russians.
“The Roman empire died as expansion contracted, and the British empire is further proof that without constant conquest of new spoils, contraction and dilapidation are assured.
“Where has the European Union got to go but Russia? There are no more lands to conquer that are Christian going East. Asia minor, is the land of the Turk, and an anathema to the EU, which abhors everything Turkish, but even if it does conquer Turkey and assimilate its economy, it will still have to look north from there across the Black Sea to Russia. The EU has to be on the constant move to survive, without movement only death creeps in to its empire of economic conquest.
“The EU cannot look West, because that is the realm of the United States, although some South American countries could possibly be capitulated, the distance to Europe is too great for efficient control.
“Working backwards, the EU has first established conquest through economic might, and is now creating an EU army. This will be their final solution to Russia, which they know is immune to their economic sanctions and might. Russia will have to be weakened further, then with the European army Russia will have to be defeated militarily through the Ukraine and onwards. Naturally, this will be the undoing of the EU empire, as history has seen many fallen empires try the military route and fail.
“Economic stagnation within the European Union, massive debt from the southern nations like Italy, Spain and Greece will further add a burden to the EU as it will struggle to close the bleeding wound in its side.
The polling company that conducted the survey on 10,000 dead people across the United Kingdom came up with the amazing statistics which will bolster Theresa May and her Conservative party team.
“We interviewed 10,000 corpses, and found that they would all vote Conservative at the European elections. We will even try to deliver the coffins to the polling stations on the day,” head of BORI polls, Masjit Bandasara, told Sky news today.
Contrary to other polls that project a major drubbing of the Conservative party due to the lacklustre ‘leadership’ of Theresa May and her Remainers, the most recent poll has been greeted with delight at Tory HQ.
“Well, who better to vote for the Tory party than dead people. Look at Theresa May, she is barely being held together by the thick formaldehyde makeup she wears over her decaying rotting face,” one poor Tory said before slinking back into a dark corner.
Labour denizens were quick to chime in, the leader even accusing the Tories of trying to skew the vote by cheating.
“Labour brought in millions of migrants into the UK from 1997 onward for the very reason that we would get votes, but now the sneaky Tories are trying to use dead people to bolster their voter base. This is a criminal action and we will go to the electoral commission about this outrage!” Jeremy Corbyn said from his dacha in Islington.
TV chef Jamie Oliver is to open a new chain of restaurants in the Shoreditch area.
The restaurants will be called ‘Fat Tongue’ and only serve dishes of tongue, the chef revealed Tuesday.
“I wanted to open a chain of restaurants that exemplify my personality and makeup. Look at my tongue *sticking tongue out*. It’s a fat tongue, and it goes with my mockney accent very well. We’ll be selling tongue, lashings of fucking tongue, here, there and everywhere. Innit!”
BBC7 will be airing a docu-series about Fat Tongue and show the inner workings of the restaurant chain with boss Jamie Oliver waving his fat fucking tongue around for everyone to see. The show should air in October.
“Jubbly”
The menu for the chain will be the usual slop Oliver likes to present, but with the added bonus of having ox tongue, pig tongue, and sheep tongue along with delicacies like grouse tongue.
“I’ve seen Jamie Oliver’s fat tongue, and have been in awe at it’s sheer magnitude for some time,” chef Alonso Mulligatawny, told BBC newsnight.
The restaurant chain will prove lucrative to the TV chef and his business partners, when it will probably be liquidated in a year or so.
The incident occurred today in Beverly Hills when Kim Kardashian was shopping for another set of handbags.
According to witnesses at the scene, a truck was passing when one of its valves came unloose. The valve compartment measured 3 feet across and the truck had just travelled from a toxic waste depot.
“This stuff was pouring out all over the sidewalk. One woman’s chihuahua practically melted in front of our fucking eyes when the toxic shit splattered over it. That’s when I saw Kim, she dropped her bags, undid her leopard skin pattern leotard, and put her ass against the leakage. Many were fainting from the fumes. Kim Kardashian is my hero, her asshole saved hundreds of people today,” Miles Fetnoer, 43, a witness to the accident revealed.
To plug a hole three feet across is no easy feat but Kim Kardashian managed it with ease.
Each Kardashian buttock has been carefully moulded by the best professionals in the cosmetic surgery field of Los Angeles, and they are modelled on buttocks of black women.
Cosmetic surgeon Dr. Phil Penrose, of Beverly Hills, was quick to assert the effectiveness of his masterpiece.
“Kim and and many of the Kardashian clan only like black. They like their men black, and their asses black. I am so happy she saved the day today with her butt. The amount of sculpting that her project took was immense. I don’t just do trout lips, and beach ball tit implants, I also do the Kardashian butt, and white women are queueing around the block to have me carve them up and stuff ’em. They actually pay for it too.”
The Mayor of Los Angeles, Enrique Polantes, praised Kim Kardashian and plans on holding a ceremony honouring her heroic buttocks.
“Kim saved the day with her butt. Many people would have died today if it was not for her ginormous asshole, and I’m not just talking about Kanye.”
Cloud computing refers to the scalable and elastic internet-based services that providers offer to many external customers. Today, most business people are not storing data and applications on their desktop computers or local networks. They are now opting for the cloud – a shared network of database servers and scalable applications hosted in many locations around the globe. Remote file management and software-as-a-service are among cloud computing applications. Here are some of the reason you need to use cloud-based software for your business.
Efficient data backup
As a business owner, you possibly know the benefits of backing up your business and personal data. Without data backup, you are likely to lose everything if a system failure or any other disaster happened. Apart from helping you simplify the process of updating your data automatically as you work, cloud storage creates many copies of the data off-site where it will remain safe from theft, natural disasters and malfunction.
Mobile working
Technology allows business owners to make fully functional offices, which they can access with their smartphone devices or personal computers. The cloud serves better in this area because business owners can access and sync their personal data and that of their businesses from any place. As a result, they can move with their office to any place and access information at any time. They can also request files from their employees.
Flexibility
After you start using cloud computing, you will realise that the business operations will be more flexible. You can outsource the routine IT operations such as the data backup/storage and start focusing on the main operations like website design and development. A quick example, you can rely on Hoxro.co.uk, which use cloud-based storage to develop software programs in the UK and focus on the value-added components of your business. With cloud computing, group collaboration will be easier. You can rely on freelance software engineers from all parts of the world if they can use virtual meetings and document sharing to collaborate on your projects.
Cost-effective
Businesses are able to avoid upfront costs associated with installing or purchasing hardware systems and software applications. This is more helpful for businesses that operate on tight budgets. They can now rent storage space and software applications if necessary and avoid the risks associated with the installation of expensive systems only to realise that they do not match the needs of their company. Cloud computing will turn the fixed costs of your business into variable costs. You will pay for what you need solely and leave what you do not need therefore reducing the fixed overhead costs.
Better performance
High-speed internet connections facilitate faster transfer of data and real-time communication between business and customers. An employee can log in from his/her home and communicate with the work colleagues in a different time zone. Cloud computing provides unlimited storage space and will free up your desktop processing capacity and storage. System crash or a lightning strike could easily destroy the business data you have stored in the local network but it will not affect any that you have stored in the cloud. With cloud computing, you will reduce energy costs due to the associated sharing of resources.
Cloud computing has several challenges. Use of cloud to store critical information and prevent loses in cases of a major network outage. For example, email service outages might leave your customers without the communication tools they need. Privacy is another concern because some criminal elements might access your personal data. Some companies are reluctant of using the cloud due to security issues such as information theft, computer hacking and unauthorised access to their sensitive data.
Not even fit for the glue factory, Theresa May is now attempting to sell her awful deal for the fourth time, but this time has cast aside all aspersions of it being a Brexit because she wants Britain to stay in the Customs Union permanently, thus making the whole sham an even worse bodge up than her other pathetic BRINOs.
How long can this madness go on? What does it take for this godawful wretch of a woman with no dignity left in her awful looted lying soul to get the bloody message that no one wants anything to do with her deal, or with her anymore.
Cue the highly embarrassing tawdry parade of Tory EU MEPs holding a press conference with no audience in the room apart from one press photographer who captured the miserable looks on those sacrificial lambs before they are sent out to slaughter.
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result, and Theresa May is frankly not just insane, but it seems very stupid and naive as well. Yet, not one Tory has stood up to her, or ousted her from turning the Conservative party into a laughing stock. Of course they have their reasons, Corbyn, a name that comes to mind, and the fear that a real Brexiteer could take the reins.
As for pushing this rehashed monstrosity through parliament, good luck with that. Which self respecting Tory would vote for it, especially when May went behind the Conservative party’s back to court the anti-semitic Labour party?
For their failure in ousting May earlier, the Tory party deserves everything it gets from now on, and that’s a good kicking in the nether regions, followed by another mass exodus of voters and MPs.
Get your strawberries and cream out because we’re coming up to the Wimbledon 2019 tennis season.
Andy Murray, although keyed into retire could be making an appearance for some doubles to celebrate his Wimbledon career, despite suffering from a debilitating hip injury.
Djokovic and Kerber are the current defending champs and we are keen to see if they will keep their Wimbledon crown this year. Of course, Roger Federer will probably make a come back in 2019 but will have to beat Djokovic and Nadal to pull through.
The excitement does not however end there, you can always find a way to find out how to bet on the tennis to further spice up your viewing enjoyment.
One thing is for sure, this year will be another tremendous Wimbledon season, and we can’t wait till it begins in earnest. There is a mood of real burgeoning anticipation this year, and the betting possibilities are immense. Now is the time to analyse the player statistics and to make those forward bets before the odds change.
Other upcoming players that could threaten the Djokovic crown are:
Dominic Thiem At World No. 4 and aged 25, Thiem is in his sporting prime, and has a long way to go till he finds his best form. His latest title in Barcelona came at the expense of home favourite Nadal and he denied Federer a sixth title at Indian Wells in March proving he is certainly capable of upsetting the best on their favourite surfaces.
Alexander Zverev
Current World No. 3 is this 22 year old German. Winning nine ATP titles in the last two seasons. Notable for beating both Federer and Djokovic in the ATP finals in London last year.
Daniil Medvedev
Medvedev is one player to watch for, as he has the same makeup as Djokovic. He could definitely pull out some tricks from his tennis bag this season to prove his ground.
The Wimbledon prize pot will also see an increase of 11.8 percent and total £38 million ($49 million) for this year’s championships.
The men’s and women’s singles champions will receive £2.35 million ($3.06 million) each — £100,000 more than the previous year.
There are only five Brits in the top 200 rankings:
31. Kyle Edmund
41. Cameron Norrie
77. Dan Evans
159. Jay Clarke
169. James Ward
Wimbledon 2019 Dates
The tournament will run from Monday 1 July to Sunday 14 July.
Women’s singles quarter-finals: Tuesday 9 July
Men’s singles quarter-finals: Wednesday 10 July
Women’s singles semi-finals: Thursday 11 July
Men’s singles semi-finals: Friday 12 July
Women’s singles final: Saturday 13 July
Men’s singles final: Sunday 14 July
Tickets
If you wish to get tickets, good luck with that, but there’s always a chance you can find something with some serious graft. Don’t forget to avoid the touts, and unless you’re a celebrity with VIP access, you will have to contend with The Queue – an ominous line of people that goes around the block and then some. Don’t forget to bring your tent.
With a new roof over court 1, the British weather will have to take a back seat, and those crucial matches will be able to be played seamlessly. *
There’s nothing like the sight of a blubbering female PM to make a 1922 Committee group back down from chucking you out there and then. We accurately predicted this would happen and be utilised by the PM a few weeks ago.
And so it goes on, Theresa May has survived to live another day by shedding tears at her execution party where she was effectively told to resign.
After pleading her case the cowardly PM who has no self respect anymore, or respect from her own MPs moped around the floor, a pitiful wretch of a woman with no dignity or self-esteem left in her pathetic husk teetering on her kitten heels.
This is a woman who is to blame for all the misfortune this country has endured through her laissez faire attitude of absolute apathy, complicit Remainer stance when it came to Brexit and the deliverance of democracy. She is the one who presented a deal that was effectively drafted by Merkel looking over her shoulder, and Barnier okaying it. To then present that deal was an impossible task because everyone would see through it, but she in her glorious stupidity thought that others were as stupid as her.
There should be no tears shed for this disingenuous treacherous wretch who has sought to deceive not only her own MPs, but parliament as a whole. May is only in her position because she is being bolstered by big business, who have trillions tied into the EU quagmire. They are above the law, and do not have any qualms about quashing Britain’s waning democratic process.
There will come a day when this pathetic wretch of a woman will be ousted, one way or another, however, in the interests of change, maybe it is better she stays to pollute the Conservative party further and destroy it completely.
Why should the Conservative party be destroyed? It won’t be completely eviscerated, but it does not deserve to be a party anymore, and it does not deserve to be labelled as ‘conservative’ anymore, it only deserves to be punished for not only betraying the Brexit vote, but for destroying democracy in Britain today. Mind you, the Labour party deserves to be destroyed as well but the communist population of Britain is too strong and it will unfortunately endure.
Here is a call to arms, on May 23, a vote only for the Brexit party will suffice. Something must be done about the state of politics in the UK where the system is geared more towards feudalism than democracy and parliamentary procedure is one that can be corrupted and skewed to benefit the controlling elite.
Fuck them. Fuck them all. But most of all fuck Theresa May (not literally though *vomit*)
The Duchess of Cambridge revealed the amazing news to the media a few moments ago that Prince Louis, one of the many children of William and Kate, has climbed up to the top of a slide.
The slide situated in the vast grounds of Bletchley Park is over 2 feet high.
Mother-of-three Kate, 37, spoke about her youngest child during an outing to Bletchley Park, Buckinghamshire, on Wednesday afternoon.
“Crawled”
“He crawled over to the slide. Looked left, then right, then up a little, before pulling himself up the slide. Halfway there, he stopped for about a minute and looked back for approval from the crowd that had gathered. Once the applause and cheering stopped he pulled himself up approximately 4 inches to the top of the slide. If this doesn’t beat a Meghan story what will?,” Middleton yelped with delight.
Spitfires
The event was commemorated by a flyby of a Spitfire squadron, and a 42 gun salute.
Royal commentator, Hector Montague, suggests this amazing feat could even be immortalised in a new stamp collection by the Royal Mail.
“One has to imagine the immense pride Kate Middleton felt as well as the assembled crowd of 400 on the day when Prince Louis climbed the slide. It’s an absolutely stupendous feat for the royal. Imagine, he actually traversed the height of such a slide, and lived for his mother to tell the tale. Incredible!”
Please stay tuned for more incredible updates – developing story
