17.7 C
London
Thursday, January 22, 2026
secret satire society
Home Blog Page 321

End of Year Releases To Watch For From Microgaming and Switch Studios

0

There are many changes slated for the gaming industry before year-end, and as 2020 rings in. Not only will we see more independent developers getting recognition for their role in the gaming industry, but we’re also more likely to see cross-platforming and optimizing of desktop and mobile games.

Here are some of the most recent updates from online casino software developer, Microgaming, who is known for some it’s more popular games like Jurassic Park, Game of Thrones, classic casino games, and one of the largest progressive jackpots.

Releasing New Games From Switch Studios

While Micrograming is one of the best known and award-winning gaming software developers in the UK, they rely on the talent and knowledge of an independent developer, Switch Studios. Slated to launch on December 11th, a classic casino game, Baccarat will join other games in the suite of blackjack games like Atlantic City Blackjack and European Blackjack. Vegas Single Deck Blackjack is scheduled for release a week after Baccarat.

With so many traditional-style blackjack games available in the suite of games, you might be wondering what sets these apart from other games on the market. Not only can you expect seamless play on mobile devices or a desktop like other online top 10 casinos, but these games also have realistic graphics and sounds, which is just a step away from playing in an in-house casino.

Features To Watch Expect

In a gaming industry where many developers focus on creating games that are busy and loaded with details, Switch Studio focuses on realism and minimalism. Other features will include:

  • Streamline design, eye-catching and classic colours
  • Player-controlled Card Squeeze feature for Baccarat to peel, pull, and flip cards
  • Customisable features like player scorecard

When asked about unique features to the new additions, Tom David, Head of Studio at Switch Studio, also noted that each game has one-of-a-kind built-in features. Operators have the choice to put their stamp on it, apply branding to the felt colour on the table, and other logo options.

While these features might seem minor, they are great additions for players who love to play traditional casino games with a touch of sophistication. Switch Studio’s offerings are an excellent option for casino players who don’t have a lot of experience playing online casino games or don’t like the “busyness” that comes with many online casinos.

The seamless integration between desktop and mobile devices allows players to play from the comfort of home or while on the go.

Given the multitude of games that Microgaming offers in the casino industry, partnering with Switch Studio and releasing the suite of blackjack games is an excellent alternative for players who want to enjoy the simplicity and classic features of a game without skimping on quality and fun.

In the News: Apparently it Snows in the Winter

0

According to all news sites and front page headlines it will snow in some places due to it being winter.

Also, there will be some headlines attributing snow to climate change, or in other words, the difference in seasons, but don’t let the little terror, “How dare you”, Greta Thumberg, hear about that.

The snow in some areas will be thick and white of colour, which may trigger some activists to call it racist. They may cause a Twitter frenzy, where many people will be banned for disagreeing with the nutcases, because these social networks always agree with the arseholes of the internet.

This year, Britain is set to have another snow in, and no doubt there will be abject chaos across the country once again, because we never seem to learn from the past. The bets are in already, and some are even enticed by the age of gods free spins on offer as well. Certainly, a better proposal than sitting for 24 hours in your car on the M25 waiting to be dug out from the snow.

When it snows it usually means the temperature outside is cold, so there will be further newspaper headlines telling people to stay warm, and to be careful travelling — Duh!. This may seem like common sense to most, but for many, they have to be told yearly about the same old dangers.

The obligatory pictures and videos of people and cats playing in the snow will be a prerequisite for all publications, so get ready for the yearly photographs showing off each region of Britain under the snow.

As for the trains, all it takes is one snowflake to land on a rail, or the ‘wrong type of snow’ and the whole line will be out for days, such is the state of Britain’s Victorian rail network. Be prepared for paragraphs and pictures dedicated to people sleeping in stations, and Christmas holidaymakers stranded at airports due to that white stuff that falls from the sky.

The incredible thing about the mere sniff of snow in Britain is that in Nordic countries, everything seems to function perfectly with heavy snowfall year in year out, yet Britain comes to an abject standstill. In countries like Sweden, they even have darkness for six months of the year for gawds sake, and yet they cope perfectly well, despite being snowed upon as well.

According to British Gas, some of the worst snowy moments occurred in the last century; on January 23, 1947, the snow arrived and did not let up fo 55 days across the nation. Then Britain had the Big Freeze of 1962/63 with temperatures dropping below -20C. In the noughties, 2010 seems to stand out, with snow falling, and temp records the coldest in 100 years, costing UK economy over £1.2 billion a day in lost sales, and sickies.

Should You Start a Business From Home?

0

The path to building your dream business from home is a long and demanding one. Anyone who tells you that shifting from nine-to-five work to managing a home business is a quick and smooth transition is probably selling you something scammy.

But the flip side of the coin is equally valid.

While it’s not easy, starting a business from home can be incredibly rewarding, particularly when you begin to see it grow. So, in the spirit of giving a balanced account, here are three reasons you should start a home business, followed by three reasons you shouldn’t.

Three Reasons You Should

Want more hours in your day? A home biz can make that happen.

This first reason in the should column might seem a bit counter-intuitive. Most new home business owners implicitly understand the importance of putting in long hours, particularly when you get established. There aren’t too many ways to avoid that.

The quality and flexibility of that time are very different, however. Prefer to work in the evenings after the kids have gone to bed? The right home business for you will let you do that. Fancy a few days off for a road trip? You won’t need permission forms, leave-slips, or HR departments to make that magic happen. All you need to do is make sure you catch up some other way. Your time is your time.

Owning your own home business often means you get more bang for your temporal buck.

Owning your own business helps you better understand money… and maybe even life.

OK, that does sound a bit weird. Unless you’ve only just parted ways with a remote commune in a desert somewhere, you’re probably down with the general concept of spending money to get stuff.

But salaried work makes the value of currency seem abstract. Money happens when you endure your job through to the next paycheck. More money happens when you polish your resume and jump through the requisite hoops to land a better job. Rinse and repeat until you retire.

Owning your own home business short-circuits all that. You start thinking of money more dynamically. Unburdened by the bludgeoning monotony of a well-worn career track, you’ll likely begin to perceive money less as the result of endurance and more as the combined product of energy, talent, and insight.

Oddly, how much you earn may become less critical, even as the qualities that drive self-made wealth become more important. You may even find you become much more alert to the notion that life is what you make it.

A home business can be less lonely than the nine-to-five grind.

Now, this one is a tad complicated and comes with a few caveats. Make no mistake: a home business can be isolating. If your work is inherently solitary, you can all-too-easily go days without being forced to interact with anyone. Building meaningful relationships while growing your home business takes work and dedication.

However, provided you make an effort, managing your own home business can lead to more fulfilling professional relationships.

Networking with other home business owners isn’t dampened and soured by the strictures of a highly regulated and managed workplace. You’re allowed to talk freely about ambition, fear, uncertainty — all the ingredients of what it means to be a human.

A home business is an adventure with a constant flow of victories and defeats, obstacles, and hidden alleyways. Sharing those moments with fellow home business adventurers can lead to some strong and lasting friendships.

Three Reasons You Shouldn’t

More is at stake, and that can be a stress.

Most regular jobs come with a little bit of wiggle room. You’ll have days where you can kind of dial it in. If you ate a bad shrimp the night before, most (though by no means all) nine-to-five jobs will give you leeway.

Also, you probably get insurance, paid leave, and other perks that make life more manageable when plans go astray.

When you own a home business, all of the above becomes more complex. You’ll have days where you feel unwell but still need to work. You may experience months where you need to put in extra hours to pay the bills. Finding good insurance can be hard and expensive when it’s just you, your bank account, and the deep blue sea.

The working from home lifestyle can be isolating.

Remember how I said that owning a home business can be less lonely? That is true, but you’ll have to work on building those relationships to achieve networking nirvana.
When you start, none of that support will exist. In those early stages, working from home can become very isolating indeed, especially if you live alone.

It’s avoidable. Just have a plan for getting out and meeting people. Oh, and no excuses! Be sure to stick with it. You’ll need other folks to help you on your journey.

You’ll lose your “zones.”

Normal working life allocates certain physical zones.

When you’re at work, you’re typically expected to be professionally conventional. Your employers may even frown a bit if you opt to wear pink flamingo slippers. On your commute, society dictates that you be quiet and orderly — and again, abstaining from wearing comfortable, pink, avian-themed footwear is generally preferred. When you’re at home, you’re allowed to relax, sleep, and eat cheese.

Owning your own business will dissolve those zones. While this can be liberating, it also means your home will always be your office. You’ll never have a lengthy commute separating you from your fridge, and all the cheesy treats housed therein.

You’ll need the discipline to finish your work at an allotted time, even if your office is only a few footsteps away. Likewise, if you’re a serial snacker like me, you’ll also need to get good at telling yourself “no!” when all those delicious distractions beckon.

In the End, It’s Simple

In the final analysis, it’s almost disturbingly simple. You should start a home business if you really, really, really want to. I’m not usually a fan of thrice-repeated adverbs, but in this case, it’s justified. Two really’s won’t cut it.

Should you start a business from home? Absolutely. Provided you’re on fire to make it happen.

What to Expect When You’re Done Expecting: The Aftermath of Ukraine Surrogacy

0

As more couples choose to carry out their surrogacy in Ukraine, what they brought home is rarely what they expected.

Faced with ever-increasing incidences of infertility, couples are choosing to seek the help of surrogates. A surrogate is a woman who carries the child of another couple, largely because it is unsafe for the mother to carry the child herself.

Due to a plethora of medical maladies that cause a woman to be unable to bear her own children, surrogacy is becoming an ever more common practice. With high profile celebrities like Kim Kardashian and Neil Patrick Harris sharing their surrogacy successes on social media platforms like Instagram, surrogacy is finally becoming normalized in society.

“It wasn’t at all what we were expecting,” says one couple who used the services of Ilaya, one of Ukraine’s premier surrogacy agencies. “Ukraine surrogacy seemed so scary at first. We had never visited the country, and we definitely didn’t speak the language.” The couple openly discusses their journey to parenthood via surrogacy in Ukraine. “In fact, everything was so much easier than we expected it to be.” They say, smiling. “Because we live in Europe, travel costs were minimal. The country itself is absolutely beautiful, and our surrogate was a dream.”

This is just one set of newly minted parents that have achieved their dreams using surrogacy programs offered in Ukraine. “We see so many couples each year,” Ilaya, the company tells us. “This is what drives us to provide the best care possible. Seeing these people come away from the process with joy instead of worry. It’s very obviating.”

While Ilaya is just one of the companies in Ukraine that offer surrogate services to couples in need, they are a shining example of what to expect throughout the process.

How Surrogacy Works

Surrogacy programs in Ukraine work both similarly and differently to surrogacy programs elsewhere in the world. Similarly, they provide the same types of treatments and procedures that would be expected in any other country with advanced medicine.

The surrogacy process involves finding a surrogate who has passed all of the required mental and physical testing. Following this, eggs and sperm are received from the intended parents and combined in a lab setting. Should the intended parents be unable to supply their own materials for the child, donor materials can be acquired.

Once the materials are combined and viable embryos are formed, they can then be implanted into the surrogate mother’s uterus via IVF. This is considered standard practice around the world. Where technically the surrogate is considered a gestational carrier, as opposed to a “surrogate”, because she is not genetically related to the child she will bear.

Prior to the advent of modern medical practices, the surrogate mother was artificially inseminated with the intended father’s sperm. This meant that the surrogate mother supplied the egg and held a genetic connection with the child. Gestational carriers on the other hand, have no genetic link to the child. Choosing a gestational carrier as opposed to a surrogate allows for clearer lines to be drawn regarding parentage and custody.

Where Ukraine Surrogacy Stands Out

Ukraine’s surrogacy programs use gestational carriers in the same way that most other countries do, but they also compensate these brave women for their time. In a process known as “commercial surrogacy” the gestational carrier is allotted a sum of money as reparation for her time and effort. Commercial surrogacy is not legal throughout the world, and most countries offer only “Altruistic surrogacy” in which the gestational carrier isn’t entitled to any type of pay for her efforts.

Alongside of paying these women for carrying the child, Ukraine also has strict guidelines that mandate who is, and who isn’t qualified to accept the position of gestational carrier. Ensuring that desperate woman in desperate situations cannot apply for the job.

Further, Ukraine medical guidelines closely monitor and maintain which medical practices are appropriate for these situations. Allowing for multiple IVF attempts and novel practice like PGD. Preimplantation genetic diagnosis, or PGD, is the science behind ensuring that implanted embryos are of the highest quality and have the greatest chance of success, both for implantation and future health of the child.

The process can help identify genetic abnormalities and health defects that could harm both the gestational carrier and the future child. The country’s laws also outline exactly how the procedures must be carried out, and provide the minimum of standards that must be practised throughout the prenatal experience of the surrogate. Ensuring that continued care throughout the pregnancy is seen to effectively. But Ukraine surrogacy programs and their associated legislation don’t stop at medical procedures.

Laws are in place that protect the surrogates health and the lawful interests of the intended parents. Allowing them to create legally binding contracts that outline the roles and responsibilities of both parties- contracts that must be in place before IVF is carried out. Making it simple for both parents and surrogates to prepare themselves for the journey ahead and know exactly what is expected of them, and what they in turn are allowed to expect.

The Choice of Ukraine Surrogacy

“No one actively chooses surrogacy,” the couple tells us. “You don’t have a choice at this stage. Because of whatever problems you are experiencing, you are excluded from such a vital and incredible part of parenthood. For us, I think that was probably the most difficult part, just knowing that at such a vulnerable time- someone else was fully in charge of our child’s well-being.”

Fertility rates around the world are plummeting, and doctors are struggling to keep up. Despite advances in medical practice, there are still times at which couples have no choice but to take on the bumpy ride of surrogacy. “It is scary, and really emotional. Sometimes it’s a really sad process,” the mother tells us. Despite the “sure-fire” appearance of surrogacy, often times multiple IVF cycles are required before a surrogate successfully becomes pregnant. “Even then, when you get the call that tells you it’s happened, that you’re going to be a parent- it’s the most overwhelmingly joyous thing. Closely followed by a crippling sense of worry.”

The couple says that despite the fact their personal surrogacy journey was largely without any problems, they were still concerned about something crippling up. “You worry constantly about what might happen. Every check-up, every day, you wake up thinking about your child.” But, for this couple, their worries came unanswered. “The whole process was so smooth. Holding [our baby] for the first time was incredible. I had never been that happy in my life.”

The couple says that they continued to worry even after they brought their healthy baby boy home. “You worry about things you’d have no control over. If surrogacy somehow makes your child different. If it makes things different for them.” What they found however, is that despite creating a lifelong friendship with a previously unknown woman, everything else was perfectly normal. “Our son is happy, and he’s healthy, and he’s no different from any other child his age. Except that he has this incredible origin story. He’s a miracle baby, but he’s our miracle baby. Nothing changed that.”

Sadiq Khan Designates London Bridge Heritage Terror Stabbing Zone

0

With a vulnerable unarmed police force roaming Britain’s crime filled streets, and a capital city with so many bloody stabbing murders occurring daily, it was only a matter of time that the London Mayor, Sadiq Khan had to designate the major land mark, London Bridge, a heritage site where daily stabbings take place.

“Today, I proudly designate London Bridge as a heritage zone for stabbing. On my way here, I proudly saw three deadly stabbings, four suicides, and fifteen robberies. We proudly have a vulnerable police force that we send out to these deadly incidents with no guns, where these poor chaps are faced with deranged armed terrorists, and armed drug gang members, our police are expected to fight these vicious armed criminals with nothing but a small truncheon.”

Tourists who flock to London are excited to see the stabbings at sunset.

Mike Tawney, from Texas, USA, finds the liberal lack of crime prevention refreshing, purely for entertainment purposes.

“In America, if the cops see anyone with a weapon coming towards them, they shoot them fast. Over here in London, it’s like a licence for maniacs, terrorists, and gang members to shoot and stab, and when the unarmed Brit police turn up, they’re powerless until they call their one armed guy, who takes a lot of time to get to the crime zone. By the time anything is done, maybe a few more folks get stabbed. It’s just too easy.”

Stabbing frenzies usually increase over the weekend, and there is now a burgeoning guided tourist tour system where stabbings can be viewed from a far or sometimes close quarters depending on the situation.

London stabbing tour guide, Moses Aludajuwe, explained some of the nuances of the job.

“The tourists all love the stories of Jack the Ripper, that’s their view of London, foggy, cobbled streets, and brutal frenzied stabbing sessions. Weekends are best for major stab viewing, and the sort of romantic sunsets over London Bridge are offset by the splatter festival and blood-curdling screams of victims getting stabbed. The London Mayor, Sadiq Khan gave us his seal of approval last week, and we put that up on the side of the tour bus, although it’s covered in blood now.”

Forget about cheap plastic trinkets of Big Ben that were manufactured in China, tourists now buy kevlar stab vests and hire body guards to visit the bloody sites of London.

“It could be a deranged Jihadi terrorist irresponsibly released early from prison with a tag on his leg, or a skunk weed crazed Jamaican teenage gangster from some South London drug estate, one day you’re walking down the street whistling, next thing you know you’ve got a 10-inch knife blade deep in your liver. Welcome to London.”

Trump Will Win Election in 2020

0

However much you hate Donald J. Trump, the Teflon Don, you gotta admit, he has had everything and the kitchen sink thrown at him. He has been constantly harassed by the Obama core state, and Hillarians since he won the election in 2016.

Trump has had to jump through pretty much every hoop invented and then some, and there’s something about that kind of staying power, it means he always has this ‘under dog’ status about him, which the mavericks in the audience always appreciate.

The Democrats can only look on as they throw everything at this guy, day in, day out, that’s all they think about, and it drives them mad, it drives these socialist fuckwits out of their supposed liberal minds. Trump has in fact shown us that the Democrats are not compassionate liberals any more, they have somehow mutated into a bunch of authoritarian pseudo-communist censorious little-Stalins who have a very limited world-view. The socialist Democrats, are not democratic in the least any more; they bark orders, they censor anything that does not adhere to their limited model of how the world should be, they are puritan communists who abhor freedom of thought, expression or speech. THIS ladies and gentlemen, is the triumph of Trump, and for this he deserves to be re-elected, even though we are going to see every obstacle being put in front of him as time gets closer to the election.

For democracy to succeed, the losing side should capitulate to their loss, and the Democrats still live in denial, and have not accepted the fact that they lost the election, fair and square.

Not only has the Teflon Don had every dirty Democrat trick foisted upon his person, he has had those who helped him get elected in 2016, incarcerated by the undemocratic Democrats. But, Trump still has his ace card, and this is his public speaking skill, his crowd cheers from city to city, and the socialists cannot stop that, however much they try.

Trump, may be swamped much of the time, but he will get through all this bullshit, and he will win the 2020 election, because he has belief, and the others simply do not.

We will have to endure watching further scenes of deranged, mentally ill women crying and shouting out their insane rants in the streets of Washington D.C. and Portland once the results of the 2020 election come in.

Sorry folks, you may hate the thought of this happening again, but it is ensured, and we’re only reporting the truth.

 

IRAN Fast Tracking Nuclear Missile Program: Bomb by June

0

As the world sleeps, Iranian nuclear scientists are working overtime to get their first ever nuclear weapons systems up and running. Estimates are that they will have a functioning nuclear missile ready to launch in a few months.

The Daily Squib warned about the upscaling of the Iranian nuclear program in June.

“It is not a question of if, but when we get our first nuclear missiles ready. We will not hesitate to use them immediately, as we have promised our enemies before,” President of Iran, Hassan Rouhani revealed today.

Although Iran is a party to the Non-Proliferation Treaty (NPT), it flat out refuses to allow the International Atomic Energy Agency (IAEA) to inspect its sites.

Thanks to Trump delaying any action against the rogue Iranian regime, it has been allowed to produce enriched uranium stockpiles beyond the 300 kilogram limit, even enriching uranium to levels beyond the cap of 3.67 percent, and then activating 20 IR-4 and 20 IR-6 advanced centrifuges.

The head of the Atomic Energy Organization of Iran, Ali Akbar Salehi declared: “Boom! We already control most of Iraq and Syria, and once we bring out our nuclear missiles we will obliterate the White House of America! Have you ever seen fried Trump? They will say he has gone back to the Shaytan where he come from. Pig!”

Every day, the seconds pass into minutes, and hours, and every day Iran comes closer to launching its missiles. The West is sleeping while Iran prepares itself to unleash hell upon its enemies.

 

Prince Andrew Was Blasted Into Space Two Days Ago

0

In a first for any #metoo victim, Prince Andrew, the former royal, was blasted into space two days ago, the palace revealed today in a press report.

“Prince Andrew, was put inside a rocket, and blasted out into space, two days ago. According to the flight team, he should be going past the moon about now, and will continue on forever. This is a one way trip,” royal spokesman, Giles Mandeforth, told the BBC.

According to the palace, the Prince was flown secretly to the Baikonur Cosmodrome in Kazakhstan, which is part of the Roscosmos State Corporation, on Monday.

“The prince was very jovial about the whole event and understood that he had done something wrong, and he had to therefore pay some sort of price. Prince Andrew was allowed to take some hampers on board carrying the luxury gourmet food he is accustomed to. He was also allowed to take a little plastic xmas tree with some blinking lights on it, so he can celebrate Christmas in the cold hard darkness of space,” Mandeforth added.

If calculations are correct, by August, the prince, if still alive, should be nearing Jupiter, on course to Alpha Centauri.

Another great win for #metoo, there were celebrations from hard-left feminists across the globe as another man had been banished from human existence.

What is a No Wagering Casino?

0

You go to an online casino, and get your casino bonus. Wahey! You’re in the money you say, but hold on soldier, not too fast. Have you read the small print about wagering requirements?

To understand what a no wager casino is, one must first understand what a wagering casino is.

Your initial deposit match bonus of 100% of £100 (£200) has a whopping wagering requirement of 65x. Which means, when you deposited your £100, you are now required by the online casino to bet 65 times the sum of this deposit plus the bonus amount to clear the wagering requirements and withdraw any potential winnings, you will therefore have to wager £200, 65 times making up a hefty £13,000 before the casino will even allow you to withdraw any money earned from the deposit match bonus. That is what is in the small print, and many folks who are suckered in by these bonuses invariably end up with a huge gambling bill, just to extract the money from the casino.

If you want to take your money out of the casino once you have won, just don’t accept the bonuses. This is the simplest way to operate without getting that major sinking feeling when you realise your amazing winnings are now tied down by a monstrous wagering requirement of 75x.

Many punters get stung by these ridiculous wagering requirements imposed by online casinos, where if you win, you can’t even take out your goddamn money. That’s the reality of the situation out there, and these casinos are preying on the people who do not read the small print. Obviously, the wagering requirements are designed to keep money in the casino and out of your pocket. Finding a no wager casino bonus, is kind of like finding gold dust, it can make a real difference to a negative experience of brutal wagering requirements in some casinos.

Always check the small print

When you are comparing bonuses on all the casino sites, be sure to check out the wagering demands, or you’ll be betting until the sun sets before you can take out your bonus money and any of the related winnings. This is perfectly legal for casinos, and they can impose any demands they want before any of your winnings are allowed to be pocketed. Seeing a bonus with a very high wagering requirement means you might as well not play, because you will have little or no chance of ever taking out your winnings.

To wager or not to wager, that is the question

Invariably, this wagering system takes away the fun of much of the gambling, and could even be viewed as a pseudo casino tax foisted on players making their lives a lot harder and miserable. Casinos have a built-in house edge, not only with the algorithms on certain games, but the up-hill hurdle of trying to clear the punitive wagering requirements means the house has a clear chance of relinquishing you of your gaming balance. If you give up halfway along the line, then you lose the bonus and all winnings, and take a huge hit in the nether regions. Also, be weary of the expiry dates of bonuses, because they will affect your gambling experience, major time.

 

At the end of the day, casinos do not want you to take low-risk bets, and they don’t want people coming in, taking their bonuses and leaving quickly. There is some sense in their policies, simply because their main job is to keep people betting for as long as they can, eventually, the house will take everything.

It’s like that famous scene in the film Casino, by Martin Scorsese, where the Japanese business man leaves the casino with his multimillion dollar Baccarat winnings, but the casino operators arrange for his private plane to have mechanical issues, stranding him in Vegas. The Japanese gambler is then invited back to the casino where he loses all his winnings and then some.

Luckily, there are changes a foot in the online gaming industry, with either low wagering requirements, or none at all. As the punter, it is your job to check out the deals that are worth a throw of the die, and to bypass the casino traps out there designed purely to entrap gamblers with their unreasonable designs.

Thank the lord for laws, online casinos these days are being told to give their wagering requirements more prominence on their websites. By law, every casino that provides a cash bonus offer must display their terms and conditions clearly including the wagering requirements. If by any chance you come across a casino operator that does not offer clear information, do not hesitate to contact their customer services so you know what you’re getting yourself and your hard-earned cash into.

This Christmas Don’t Get This For Your Kids

0

It’s coming up to that timely..er..time in the year, when you have to buy the kids their prezzies and stocking fillers.

This is one item you however don’t want to include in their stockings — The Krankies SNP vote.

No, no, no folks, it would just be too much, and a complete utter disaster when you go and vote on December 12, to foist this bunch of scallywags on future generations.

 

Breaking up the UK is no way to have a good Christmas, or having that bloated barnacle Blackford farting into your Brussels sprouts, they smell bad enough as it is.

Do you really want Nicola Sturgeon, Krankie, spurting out that she wants a referendum every five seconds, hoisting a ‘STOP BREXIT’ sign over her three-foot self?

Imagine the disaster that would befall the previously United Kingdom if Scotland left? Actually, come to think about it, most people would pay for the Scots to leave the UK. Imagine what the country could do if we spent the money we spend on them on ourselves instead?

The Glasgow heroin addicts would be left in the lurch, the booze halls would not be Glasgow Kissing any more, but it would be out of our hands then.

Aye, we changed our minds, you can vote all you want for the SNP.