Comrades, we have some more good news from Comrade Starmer. In a stunning deal, he has agreed to give all of the People’s Republic of Soviet Britain’s fish to the soviet EU. Fish rations have therefore been reduced to zero for the unforeseeable future, and will now be replaced by two rotten turnips, one carrot and a quarter of a cauliflower for each family. Yes, you read that correctly, we have extended ourselves to include this magnificent food package for all citizens.
The above offer excludes all high party members, union bosses, NHS bosses, train drivers, civil servants of the Big State and council bosses, who of course dine on the finest champagne, salmon, caviar, fillet mignon, and other gourmet food.
Comrades, the deluded people who ran the country into the ground before the Labour revolution came into power had agreed to a thing called Brexit, which caused immeasurable damage by separating us from our overlords the soviet EU.
Under the esteemed command of Comrade Starmer and his dutiful team of apparatchiks, we are reversing this awful Brexit thing and returning our communist nation to its soviet mother, the soviet EU.
Together as a truly collectivist and soviet bloc of countries, we can continue our role as being the cash cow of the EU, because their unelected leaders need more money for their vast salaries and EU pensions.
INGSOC NOTICE 094032-00494923987-7128492746873-034223-F21-A65
IANTO GLATSIEN, 14, OF 15 LLIIYTGYHHYIIIOWRETGGGFIGUUYHHG ROAD, MID GLAMORGAN, SECTOR 76, WALES, HAS BEEN AWARDED HALF A SARDINE AND A ROTTING FISH HEAD FOR REPORTING HIS MOTHER, UNCLE, GREAT GRANDFATHER, STEPFATHER, HIS REAL FATHER AND LOCAL FISHERMAN FOR ATTEMPTING TO FISH IN THE SEA. THEY WERE TAKEN AWAY IN THE EARLY HOURS OF SUNDAY MORNING AND ARE SCHEDULED FOR LIQUIDATION ON MONDAY TO BE PROCESSED INTO COMMISSAR MILIBAND’S NET ZERO JUICE. AVAILABLE IN ALL SHOPS FOR ONLY 10P A PINT. REMEMBER COMRADES, LOOK, LISTEN, REPORT!
