Herman Van Rompuy’s Unsecured Payday Loans For EU Bureaucrats

BRUSSELS - Belgium - It's not just regular people getting payday loans at 4358% APR but the unelected leader of the EU is getting them too so he can keep the Brussels hierarchy in champagne and caviare.

“We have to pay for our unelected bureaucracy somehow. They are used to their gourmet cuisine, first class long haul flights, expensive hotels, chauffeurs, diamond plated pensions, unlimited expense accounts, the champagne, the caviare and of course the high class brothels. How are these unelected EU bureaucrats meant to survive if we cut their goodies? We certainly cannot live like the scummy population who are being taxed into hell every day,” Mr Van Rompuy told Euronews yesterday.

The unsecured payday loans that Herman Van Rompuy will get should hold the EU over until February, and then there will have to be more loans to keep the unelected officials in party mode.

“We just keep adding on more debt, and as long as we are having a great time, who cares what happens, eh? The beauty about this system is we make the debt and you, the EU citizens pay for it.” a jovial Mr Rompuy said on his way to a Brussels S&M dungeon to torture some personally selected victims.