God Particle Found in Book of Mormon Says Romney

UTAH - USA - On a recent pilgrimage to the holy city of Mormon, Salt lake City, presidential candidate Mitt Romney extolled the virtues of his religion and revealed how the God particle is actually in the bible of Joseph Smith.

“This here Mormon bible reveals to me the truth about God’s message to us as humans and the pages reveal that the God Particle does exist in this book. There is no need for Higgs Boson or the Hadron Collider, your science is irrelevant when it comes to the words of the great messenger Joseph Smith who lived from 1805 – 1844 and wrote the Mormon bible,” Mr Romney told an audience of believers at the Holy Joseph Smith church in Salt Lake City yesterday.

Cain and Abel

In 1823, Smith said that while praying at night for forgiveness from his sins, he was visited by an angel named Moroni, who revealed the location of a buried book of golden plates as well as other artifacts, including a breastplate and a set of spectacles with lenses composed of seer stones, which had been hidden in a hill near his home. Smith said he attempted to remove the plates the next morning but was unsuccessful because the angel prevented him. In other words he was a f*cking nut job.


The Holy Mormon church also believes that blacks are cursed of the earth: “But let them apostatize, and they will become gray-haired, wrinkled, and black, just like the Devil”

“You can see now why it is my mission to get America back into the light from the despicable Luciferian abortion-loving child killer Obama. This is a mission from God, and I hold up the Book of Mormon to exorcise the United States, our God given land, back to the true people who inherited it. The book of Mormon is the God Particle, no science or black imposter president can take away our country’s rights to be a Mormon land of God. I vow to help our nation recover from the Obama ungodly ways, he may very well be a Muslim, and you know in America’s eyes that means he consorts with Satan,” Mitt Romney told the assembled Mormon followers in the church.

Mitt’s vision for America also extends to the cities and towns across the country, when he wins the election on November 6 he vows to build a Mormon church in every city and town in America. These great towering monoliths will remind Americans every day that their servitude to God encompasses all facets of daily life in the United States.

“When I am in the White House, I want to bring America back to what it used to be, like in the 1800s when we used to have strange fruit hanging from the trees and real justice, and God fearing people, that’s what I want to do, and I know you will all vote for me,” Romney added to rapturous applause from the audience.

  • Roberto

    These were not spokesman for God, they were evil thinikng men, caught up in the self-aggrandizement teachings of Smith, going so far as to even twist those heretical teachings into further obscene depths. The fact that succeeding prophets' would not change this view, even in the light of evidence to the contrary, until forced to do so or be the laughingstocks of the world, shows how little the revelations of their own prophets meant to them.God favored people not because of works, but because of FAITH IN HIM. It has always been that way, and Jesus healing of the woman's daughter shows this is true.The white boy club of SLC is ending, not because of anything revealed by God, but because of pressure from the world. It ended Smith’s phony claims to King of the World-ship with his death that he brought on himself, it ended their twisted practice of polygamy and the degradation of women, and it ended their racist doctrine against people of only a different skin color than they were, who dared to put that racist doctrine on God Himself.These men were too stupid to realize that all men are equal in intelligence and have the same potential to lead, govern, love, and excel. I was in California during the race riots of the 60’s. I saw young black men beat to death by whites. I saw firsthand what these racist hate-filled men do to those who they feel threatened by, but your ‘prophets’ took that prejudice to a whole new level, ascribing it to God himself. What arrogance.These so called ‘prophets’ are not excused by the lame argument ‘well they were only a product of their times’, because the teachings of God transcend time, as shown by God Himself when he came down to teach us, something these men never grasped and are still denying by their silent acclimation of the racist, hate-filled diatribes of Brigham Young and ilk like him who had the nerve to say they spoke, and still speak for God.

  • Anabel

    john f.:If I was still an active meembr of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I would indeed be averse to him becoming the most recognized public face of the faith. First, he would further reinforce the stereotype that LDS are, as Seth so well put it, narrow-minded conservative throwbacks. Given that I did not fit that stereotype while I was an active meembr of the LDS church, I hate to see that stereotype reinforced on a rather grand scale. Second, he has repeatedly changed his publicly-stated views on a variety of issues, each time conveniently to fit the demographic wherein he is running for office. He has done this so often, that I am unable to conclude that he is an honest man. I would be concerned that he might commit an unethical act, which would, due to his position, reflect badly upon the LDS church.Third, he has made more than one public statement which I would frankly expect faithful LDS to find offensive. Take, for example, his public joke that he believes marriage should be between a man and a woman, and another woman, etc. Take, for another example, his recent comment that he couldn't imagine anything more awful than polygamy. I don't care that the majority of modern LDS would probably leave the church if plural marriage came back. Romney has shown, by his words, that he is completely willing to mock and/or repudiate principles which have been sacred to meembrs of the LDS church, not to mention his own ancestors. This one makes me angry even as a FORMER meembr of the LDS church.Fourth, Romney represents the so-called gospel of prosperity, which is already far too rampant in LDS culture. Seeing an extremely wealthy meembr of the church elevated to such a position would only exacerbate that problem, I believe.Fifth, Romney's political views are, in my opinion, incongruent with those of a person who allegedly believes the U.S. Constitution was divinely inspired.I could go on, but this should be enough to make it clear that I'm not making a mere knee-jerk reaction here.

  • John Ferris is a Idiot.

    Like my name states, So you are. You really should go do better research.,
    It is scary to think the fate of American rests in the hands of people like you.
    O I heard Obama give a speech that he hates white people and wants to inprison them
    and make them all slaves to black people… Surely you believe me? You seem to believe
    everything else you read!

  • Bradley

    It dont matter about mormons hell i'd take the kkk over Obama. Country needs change not BS hope.

  • John Ferris

    I find it extremely worrying that Mr Romney may end up as commader-in-chief of the US forces after reading this. It also concerns me that he appears to be a closet racist. Please America keep this man out of the public view.

  • no mo

    I like Romney Im voting for him for sure