17.7 C
London
Saturday, April 20, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldWho Was Kobe Bryant?

Who Was Kobe Bryant?

LOS ANGELES - USA - According to news reports emanating from America some guy who bounced balls around on a court died.

Apparently when some American celebrity dies the world is supposed to stop what it is doing and weep profusely at the loss of such a character of import.

Did this chap discover an important scientific breakthrough like the cure for cancer or some other horrid disease? Was he an inventor, or a statesman who engineered peace throughout some war torn continent? Was he an author who brought joy to millions with his books, or maybe even a painter of eminence whose creations adorned galleries worldwide?

Not really. This guy bounced balls around a court and threw the ball sometimes through a hoop. No doubt he brought great joy to Americans, but otherwise, no one else gave a shit about him.

According to his Wikipedia page, Bryant raped a 19-year-old girl in a motel a few years ago, but naturally in an age of celebrity corruption, he was able to pay her off with all his millions. No one of course mentioned this chap’s rapacious escapades in the American media yesterday, which has about as much clout as a nun in a whorehouse. Double standards are the standard position, especially for a politically correct media that miraculously omits certain details when the protected person involved is African American.

On the announcement of his death, black Americans came out with their eulogies, and wept openly in the streets and television. This is all they really have, eight foot high heroes with brains the size of peas going up and down, up and down basketball courts ad infinitum, and throwing balls around. How quaint.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

Translate »