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Juncker: “If Britain No Pay Brexit 50 Billion Leaving Tax, EU Army Will Invade”

BRUSSELS – Belgium – The off the wall vindictive cognac swilling leader of the EU, Jean Claude Juncker has threatened Britain with war if it does not pay the £50 Billion Brexit tax conjured up by the fascist pseudo soviet bloc to punish the UK on its exit.

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“We will crush the Britishers in one day. Our EU army will sweep through Britain laying waste to you awful Ros Beefs. You think you can get away with this unscathed? (takes another swig from bottle) You think you English pigs can make us look like fools by leaving? We will make you pay one way or another, mes amis. One way or another, do not forget my father was a key Nazi commander in World War II. (burping viciously) This will be your last and final Dunkirk. We will make you take down your flags, we will make you speak German and French only from the moment we conquer you. Wait and see, salops, wait and see, you have not seen an angry creep like me get angry. I shall stuff escargot down your throats, I shall force you to eat sauerkraut, I shall make you do the goose step march down your windy country roads.”


The EU army much like their predecessors still utilise certain terms for their attack formations and tactics. For example when attacking the enemy, they will form an Angriffsmuster, utilising Auftragstaktik to overcome the opponent at all costs.

Jean Claude Juncker, who is the de facto head of the EU army is called Der Führer, or supreme leader. He has even commissioned Hugo Boss to design new updated uniforms that befit a 21st Century EU Army, and a newly invigorated EU Volk, a new EU Reich that shall last a thousand more years.

Blitzkrieg on Britain

“The Reich was asleep, we awoke the Vril, the essence of Thule, to awaken from its forced sleep. Time and again the vile Britishers have sought to thwart our superior existence, and we even tried to take them through economic means, but violence and warfare are the only language they understand. We asked nicely for them to join the EU under our command, but they refused again, and even their traitors within their country under our command, the Remoaners, Blair, Mandelson, Sturgeon, Miller, Clegg, Cameron, they could not do anything to stop their people rejecting our constant Project Fear propaganda.”

“Soon you will be talking German you British roast beef munching, tea swilling idiots. Soon you will be begging for mercy.” (lets off an evil laugh, then a fart, then another cognac burp)

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