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Thursday, October 18, 2018
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McDonalds Now Recruiting Latest X Factor Winners

LONDON - England - The McDonalds chain is gaining the majority of their employees from X Factor shows it has been revealed.

One Direction Boy Now Living On Skid Row

LOS ANGELES - USA - One Direction boyband member Harry Styles, who has fallen on hard times is now living on Skid Row as a homeless person, a Fox news report has revealed.

How Simon Cowell Creations Are Dominating Music Charts

LUTON - England - Simon Cowell is the Music Biz today. No need for Top of the Pops anymore, because with Cowell and his franchises of music programming, the population of the world has truly been satisfied.

Music Biz Tears as SLJ, THP, FVF and WSX Split

LONDON - England - The Music Biz was in mourning today as numerous manufactured faceless talentless boy bands split.

Brit Awards Latest

LONDON - England - It's that time of year again when more corporately created bland, morose, banal autotuned mime acts get together on a stage and accept awards for their marketing department work.

His Master’s Voice Alas Now Just an Autotuned Mess

LONDON - England - How many X Factor acts were gracing the shelves of HMV as it was consigned to the putrid faeces infested trench of the Music Biz dustbin yesterday?

Cowell Raw Sewage Injections Taking Toll

LOS ANGELES - USA - Simon Cowell, the man behind untalent shows like the X Factor and Britain's Got Talent, has been showing the strain of the faecal injections he receives daily.

‘Bed Intruder’ Video Voted Best Music Video of All Time

LONDON - England - Results are finally in for the best music video of all time, in conjunction with MTV, Daily Squib readers have voted for the Antoine Dobson Bed Intruder music video.

Next Round of Simon Cowell Creations Hits Music Charts This Week

LONDON - England - Not content with polluting the world's entertainment industry with his awful creations, Simon Cowell assaults the music charts week in week out with even more crap.

Music Biz Autotune Songs Now Used to Torture Inmates in Secret...

UNDISCLOSED LOCATION - The music biz has come a long way since the days when artists and musicians sang and wrote their own music. With the autotune and vocoder vocals used in every song released these days, the disservice to music has been terrible but service to torture has been great.

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