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Wednesday, October 20, 2021
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Tag: music biz

His Master’s Voice Alas Now Just an Autotuned Mess

LONDON - England - How many X Factor acts were gracing the shelves of HMV as it was consigned to the putrid faeces infested trench of the Music Biz dustbin yesterday?

Cowell Raw Sewage Injections Taking Toll

LOS ANGELES - USA - Simon Cowell, the man behind untalent shows like the X Factor and Britain's Got Talent, is showing the strain of faecal injections.

‘Bed Intruder’ Video Voted Best Music Video of All Time

LONDON - England - Results are finally in for the best music video of all time, in conjunction with MTV, Daily Squib readers have voted for the Antoine Dobson Bed Intruder music video.

Next Round of Simon Cowell Creations Hits Music Charts This Week

LONDON - England - Not content with polluting the world's entertainment industry with his awful creations, Simon Cowell assaults the music charts week in week out with even more crap.

Music Biz Autotune Songs Now Used to Torture Inmates in Secret...

UNDISCLOSED LOCATION - The music biz has come a long way since the days when artists and musicians sang and wrote their own music. With the autotune and vocoder vocals used in every song released these days, the disservice to music has been terrible but service to torture has been great.

Cheryl Cole to Learn How to Play Musical Instrument

LONDON - England - Like most so-called stars these days, Cheryl Cole cannot play a single musical instrument, sing or read music. The 'talented'; star hopes to change that by learning how to play a recorder with music lessons.

Simon Cowell Needs 'Raw Sewage Injections' to Keep on Top of...

NASSAU - Bahamas - Pop exploiter, Simon Cowell, who has polluted the airwaves with his awful shows, is so overworked saturating the globe with crud that he regularly needs a sh*t booster injection.

Lady KaKa Honoured for Revolutionising Music Industry

LOS ANGELES - USA - There's a new pop act on the scene who is breaking through all the adverse economic barriers catapulted in front of the Music Biz. Her name is Lady KaKa, and her success is setting record company accountants on fire.

DLP Beat UK Pop Chart Competition

LONDON - England - X Factor runners-up DLP have held onto the top of the UK singles chart for a second week with another template drum hit 'H5634'.

Lily Allen May Quit Music Industry

LONDON - England - There has been sadness and shock that pop starlet Lily Allen has threatened to leave the music biz.

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