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NEW YORK - USA - Climate change mascot, Greta Thunberg has made a passionate plea for the reduction of global emissions. This can only be achieved by reducing the global population by 80%.
ARIZONA - USA - Dinosaurs that farted millions of years ago created mass methane gas deposits that contributed to global warming, scientists reveal.
NYANZA PROVINCE - Kenya - A councillor has been arrested and detained for polluting a debate chamber with excessive methane emissions from a fart, it has been reported.
LONDON - England - The Global Overpopulation Deactivation think tank has released another paper urging increased urgency in working towards reduction of overpopulation in China and India as well as other overpopulated areas of the world.
THE HOLY SEE - Italy - The planet is at breaking point because of overpopulation and Pope Francis has revealed a final solution to the matter.
LONDON - England - Mount Bardarbunga in Iceland is ejaculating and thrusting out billions of particles into the atmosphere blocking out the sun's rays over Britain.
MICHIGAN - USA - Global warming activist Al Gore has sadly disappeared into the polar vortex and is still missing.