17.7 C
Wednesday, July 24, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldJoe Biden to Block Sun With LGBTQP Rainbow Flags to Stop Global...

Joe Biden to Block Sun With LGBTQP Rainbow Flags to Stop Global Warming

WASHINGTON D.C. - USA - Joe Biden wants to block the rays of the sun from the earth to supposedly halt global warming.

Joe Biden is known for being rather dim, but now he has had another great idea — blocking out the sun’s healing rays from reaching earth so that the world is consumed by constant darkness. This is all because of global warming, a pseudo-science that views earth’s natural seasonal cycles over millions of years as a problem that needs to be solved by human intervention.

“We are going to cast the earth into permanent darkness so that no plants grow and all the animals will die, including billions of humans, shamalama ding dong, hummada, hummada hummada, zip zap mumble mumble,” Biden revealed at a climate change function in Milwaukee on Wednesday.

“The plan is to get Elon Musk to fly out vast LGBTQP rainbow flags into space and unfurl them or something like that, zippy dang doodle. Hajiminny lengto bzzzzzzt!” Biden added before falling over head first onto a concrete bollard.

Once the LGBTQP rainbow flags are released into space, they will block 99% of the sun’s rays, casting a permanent shadow over the earth. This is so that the earth will be cooled off, and hopefully if everything goes to the Biden plan, all organic life on earth will die.

“It’s the latest gayest idea we came up with at the Democrat Party. We have already completely ruined the US military by turning all the soldiers gay or trans, so now my boss Obama told me that Soros wants me to block the sun’s rays from reaching earth. C’mon man, gimme a break, I’m just following orders here,” Biden added.

The sun is the giver of all life, but according to the Biden administration, that’s the fucking problem.

“Yeah, some people told me that the sun’s rays are crucial for life to survive on earth, but we are global warming experts and fanatics, and we know better than you or the earth. We also love sodomy and trans body mutilation, so hell, why not incorporate all these things with one massive man-made disaster to really kick things off in the climate change world we live in?”

Will there be a little Irish Leprechaun at the end of the LGBTQP flags put in space?

Lee Harvey Mandingo, an astronaut and scientist at SpaceX, expressed his candidness and enthusiasm regarding the new Biden initiative that will plunge the earth into darkness.

“Biden said he specifically wanted an Irish Leprechaun at the end of the LGBTQP rainbow flags in space, so we’re training up our first SpaceX gay dwarf who will be dressed as a Leprechaun when he is shot up into space in his own little gay robot spaceship shaped like a butt plug. When Joe Biden looks through that telescope on the White House lawn, he will be very proud of our achievement, and his vision to destroy all life on earth.”

Here’s to a very dim future, thanks to Joe Biden.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"


  1. I think this is a great idea by Joe Biden. We need to do this to stop global warming on the earth. I especially love the idea about LGBTQ flags blocking the sun. I do not like sunlight and will be very happy about it. Will we be able to see the flags from earth?

Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -





The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!