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His Master’s Voice Alas Now Just an Autotuned Mess

Earl Matheson
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His Master’s Voice Alas Now Just an Autotuned Mess

Now that the music charts are just filled up with X-Factor Cowell acts, N-Dubz, SK4332, 342A and newest entries JH4310/2 you can rest assured that HMV going bankrupt is a minor occurrence.

“HMV was borne of the days when music was distributed by vinyl records. Today there’s no money or value in music because people can just download or stream it for free. This is why artists are not developed by record companies anymore and this is why you just have the likes of Simon Cowell dominating the whole industry with his shameful disgraceful exploitative crap,” an old record executive decried.

As the latest autotune template r’n’b song plays on the radio in your car as background music, just look at the boarded up HMV shop across the road and think to yourself — it’s a shit industry.

Tesco Horse Races at Cheltenham This Year

Earl Matheson
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Tesco Horse Races at Cheltenham This Year

“First we run the old nags, then when they saunter over the finishing line after about an hour, they’re led off to the knackers yard behind the racecourse and soon served up to the racing punters in their burgers,” Tesco manager, Bill Jabbs, told the Racing Post.

There is some good news though, the Cheltenham Festival will be graced with royalty this year as Prince Charles and his wife Camilla are set to attend.

“Charlie better watch out for Camilla because if those Tesco boys get a hold of her she will be mincemeat,” a racing punter quipped.

Next time you see a Tesco Everyday Value burger, just think, that was the 2.15 at Cheltenham yesterday.

Obamacare Subtitle C-11 Section 2521

Earl Matheson
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Obamacare Subtitle C-11 Section 2521

“We spent months looking through this intricate document and found something rather scary. It holds a clause that for an American citizen to receive universal Obamacare, they will have to submit to an implant, possibly RFID or otherwise. No implant, then no health care for you, simple as that. I don’t want to scare the public but it’s right there in plain sight, subtitle c-11 section 2521. It’s tucked away so if you blink an eye, you will surely miss it,” an American liberty watcher on Capitol Hill revealed yesterday.

National Medical Device Registry from H.R. 3200 [Healthcare Bill], pages 1001-1008:

(g)(1) The Secretary shall establish a national medical device registry (in this subsection referred to as the ‘registry’) to facilitate analysis of postmarket safety and outcomes data on each device that— ‘‘(A) is or has been used in or on a patient; ‘‘(B)and is— ‘‘(i) a class III device; or ‘‘(ii) a class II device that is implantable, life-supporting, or life-sustaining.”

According to the FDA, a class II device is an “implantable radio frequency transponder system for patient identification and health information.”

Disarming crucial before implementation

“I don’t think people know what comes with their Obama Health Care. You’ve got to read the fine print folks. Why you think Obama wants to take away your guns now? Because when they make you do the Obamacare, they’re gonna chip you and your family. Why you think the DHS is stocking up with millions of rounds of ammo? It don’t make sense to have an armed people who can fight that does it? So you first go for the guns, then you get the prize,” another liberty watcher said, before a black van came along and some men in grey suits took him away.

History will thus put the American government down as pioneers of the mass microchipping of their entire human population — not just the animals.

Worried officials from the Obama administration said on on Monday: “We just don’t want those Right Wing Christian nutjobs to get wind of this. All hell would break loose then.”

UK Public Insult Law is Frankly Insulting

Earl Matheson
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British law, which forbade citizens to insult anything or anyone in public, was deemed an insult to common sense and intelligence today.

“After thousands of arrests over the years for stupid words said by people in public, we have finally come to the conclusion that we, the ones who prosecute people for free speech in public are the ones who are actually insulting to society as a whole and we are deeply ashamed to have even gone down this Soviet Stalinist route in the first bloody place,” Crown Prosecution Service head, Robert Eidjit, told the Daily Telegraph.

As of midnight tomorrow, the ridiculous and insulting insult law will be scratched from public insult history.

“You will be able to call police horses ‘gay’ in front of policemen and say ‘woof’ to police dogs in front of the police again. Millions of pounds in useless insult court cases will save the taxpayer some serious wonga,” Gerald Bloomfeld, a common sense activist told the BBC.

British Celebrity Paedophiles Only Caught After Death

Earl Matheson
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1
British Celebrity Paedophiles Only Caught After Death

“We only catch ’em after their dead, we then put handcuffs on them in their graves and say they’ve been very naughty boys, innit,” PC Bobby Pleb, told the BBC’s Newsnight.

Institutional paedophilia is part of British culture, and as Sir Jimmy Savile was swanning around with the likes of Prince Charles and Maggie Thatcher, he was even given the keys to hospitals and mental wards where he was like a kid in a candy store.

“Under the pretence of charity work, Savile raped and molested mentally retarded and vulnerable children and then was given medals for it. He was a pioneer at the BBC and was a major force in Top of the Pops and used this as a cover to rape as many underage kids as possible. In any other culture, he would have probably been caught, but unfortunately us Brits are too polite for our own good. That’s why we’ve never had a revolution or rioted here. Jimmy Savile raped half of bloody England’s kids yet no one said a bleeding word when he was alive. It boggles the mind. I mean after 450 odd rapes of children, there was not one single word. The cops kept it quiet, but Savile groomed them as well, with brown envelopes stashed with cash. As for the producers and directors of the BBC, they looked the other way, but they knew very well what he was doing. It’s all about money innit? Didn’t want to rock the boat either. Your daughter’s gone to see such and such band at Top of the Pops and she’s only 14. I’ll turn a blind eye if she tells me she was raped by Jimmy Savile. No way! You mean the DJ on Top of the Pops and Jim’ll Fix It? He didn’t do that to my daughter, I don’t believe a word,” Reggie Tribleswaite, 67, a retired butcher from Colchester told the BBC.

Does this say something about British culture? Is this a part of the ‘stiff upper lip’ brigade, who even as they are raped as children keep quiet until the bastard who raped them is dead? Maybe, the final revelation that Jimmy Savile was a monster of unspeakable proportions revealed only after his death, is simply another part of the polite British sensibility and the wish not to offend at all costs. 

“We didn’t want to offend anyone so we kept quiet until he was dead, even though he raped us as children,” another Jimmy Savile victim revealed.

Woman Arrested For Racist Rants on Underground

Earl Matheson
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0
Woman Arrested For Racist Rants on Underground

The woman who attended Snaresbrook crown court today has refuted calls of racism because she was simply reading out excerpts from a daily newspaper which is readily available on news stands the length and breadth of Britain.

According to reports, the woman was seated in one of the underground carriages passing through Finsbury Park on the Victoria line when she flew into a rage and started calling people p@kis, ni@@ers and Muslims and other racist words before telling everyone in the carriage to go back home.

“After we arrested the woman and took her to the station, she simply took out a copy of the Daily Mail newspaper and continued to read it out aloud. We then warned the defendant that anything she said could be used against her in a court of law and after hearing her reciting even more racist language from the newspaper we arrested her for a second time. The woman kept on reading the offensive material until we took the copy of the Daily Mail away from her and passed it around all the officers inside the police station,” PC Bill Plebb, told the Daily Mail newspaper.

The case is currently ongoing.

Comrade Obama Tells Comrade Cameron to Toe EU Line

Earl Matheson
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0
Comrade Obama Tells Comrade Cameron to Toe EU Line

“As I am bringing the collectivist soviet system to the former United States, I want you to do the same in the former United Kingdom and accept complete surrender to the EU soviet state. I get my orders from China, you get your orders from me and the EU. Once I have destroyed America from the inside, then there will be full integration of the one world government and economy,” Comrade Obama told Comrade Cameron yesterday during a conference call.

You Will Not Have EU Referendum

As a result of this communique there have been a number of articles from the controlled press decrying any movement away from the EU by the UK. The articles have all appeared in different publications from different sources all spewing out the same pro-EU propaganda that the people will naturally ingest without question.

“The EU is a key tool in total assimilation wherein it takes nation states, strips them of all sovereignty and destroys all freedom, individuality and democracy. It then spits out the country as a base shell moulded as an EU sector. The EU is a totalitarian state which will soon reveal itself as the Fourth Reich mixed up in an East German Stasi soup. The horrific nature of the EU is one of complete subjugation to a system that will bring tyranny to millions of people within its borders, as the controls will be drip fed slowly until there is no freedom left for its imprisoned populations,” an anti-EU supporter said on a BBC website bulletin board, before being deleted.

When the goose stepping EU soldiers are marching through British streets, maybe then some people may wake up to the EU threat. Until then, do carry on watching your Come Dancing and forget about what is really going on.

Remember how long it took people to listen to Churchill about the Nazi threat before World War II started, and you can see the exact same thing is happening now as the EU is gaining strength and assimilating more and more countries with its economic might, soon to be military might as well.

U.S. Federal Reserve Minting Trillion Dollar Coins to End Deficit

Earl Matheson
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2

“If the U.S. deficit is $17 trillion, then we will simply mint eighteen one trillion dollar coins. Once we have minted those coins, the U.S. deficit will be gone and we will have a trillion dollar surplus. Abracadabra, hocus pocus, and that will be that — we can then get back to spending more money we conjure up from thin air,” Timothy Franz Geithner, the U.S. Secretary of the Treasury told reporters at the Federal Reserve on Wednesday.

Some bankers are even suggesting minting one $25 trillion coin.

“It would only be as big as a penny but it would be worth a heck of a lot more. It would weigh approximately 43 grams and one thing’s for sure, you do not want to lose that thing behind the sofa or try to cash it,” another U.S. Treasury worker revealed.

Alex Jones Receives Coveted Order of the Alamo Award

Earl Matheson
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7
Alex Jones Receives Coveted Order of the Alamo Award

British news hacker reject and certified smarmy shit-stirrer, Piers Moron has received a bloody nose, ego and soul after being battered by the indomitable Texan free spirit and Infowars.com pioneer, Alex Jones, on Moron’s low-rated CNN show.

“Since that Brit took over from Larry King, ratings have hit the floor. We did however notice a major spike the other day when he got five shades of shit kicked out of him by Alex. I’m the series producer and even I was salivating at the sheer beauty of it all,” Arnold Weisman, series producer of CNN’s Piers Moron Tonight show revealed yesterday.

Alex Jones will receive the Alamo award tomorrow at Texas’s Alamo and he is also slated for the Freedom Award, Liberty Award and True American award.

“Over here, we are fighting for freedom from tyranny. Our once great nation has become a festering Big Brother police state and one day its true owners will rise up and take it back from the criminals and miscreants who are running it to the ground. God Bless the real America, not the America these other people are presenting to us,” Alex Jones said from the Alamo.

Yeehah!

Americans need more of that Alex Jones Alamo spirit. Wake the fuck up!

Obama: “U.S. Can Pay Debt By Borrowing More”

Earl Matheson
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1
Obama: “U.S. Can Pay Debt By Borrowing More”

“We just need to keep raising the debt ceiling until the next time and then I’ll leave a great legacy for you and your children and grandchildren,” Obama said.

When Britain’s lunatic socialist former prime minister left office in 2010 he left the UK in £7.9 trillion of debt; and when he was Chancellor in January 1999, he saw fit to sell off 60% of the UK’s gold reserves at the bottom of the market. It certainly looks like Obama is taking a page out of Brown’s book of socialist economics.

“It’s like you got a credit card but you don’t pay anything off, you just keep adding more debt. It does not matter that the U.S. has a fiat currency, sooner or later hyperinflation will rear its ugly head. One must look at the Weimar Republic to see what happened to Germany when they printed money. Soon Americans will be filling suitcases of worthless dollars to pay for a loaf of bread. Obama can carry on printing as much money as he wants it does not mean a thing to the debt apart from sealing the death of the dollar currency. The U.S government cannot fulfil its debts even on social security bills let alone servicing the interest on its massive debt, and since losing its AAA rating, don’t forget that the cost of servicing that very debt went up. I ain’t trying to scare you folks, I’m trying to put the fear of frickin’ God, Jesus, Mohammed and Krishna in you. Wake up folks, this ain’t some kind of $23 million Obama vacation, this is reality. Unless someone starts paying off some of this debt soon, we’re going down the pan, and that can be a one way ticket for America if it’s real bad,” an economist on Capitol Hill said on Friday.

One must also consider the fact that there cannot be a fully functioning one world currency/government if the U.S. dollar is still around, therefore this is why it is being systematically destroyed by Obama as he has been ordered to by his masters.

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