17.7 C
London
Thursday, December 25, 2025
secret satire society
Home Blog Page 650

Why Obama Has to Finish His American European Project

0

“We want to be like Europe, a socialist Marxist bloc which has huge taxation, huge welfare spending and bureaucracy up the ass. America is well on the way, thanks to my policies to become a copy of Europe. Soon you will have European taxes, European prices, European surveillance, European bureaucracy and European health care. Socialism is the only answer for Americans, because it has been proven that Capitalism creates rich people if you work hard; we don’t want rich people, we want everyone to be poor. We want the system to be like Europe so that if you work hard, you’re still poor. We want to take your wealth and redistribute it to the welfare people. We want half of Mexico on U.S. food stamps, we want illegal immigrants to come to the U.S. from Latin America and be given everything at your expense. What about weapons in America? Well, the new European America will have no citizens holding weapons, no siree, if we find one on you, you go to prison folks. Don’t be shooting anymore, we want you unarmed, because the only people who will be armed will be the tyranny, us, my man Eric Holder will make damn sure he will have you people disarmed if it’s the last thing he does. I give him full authority to disarm America. There will be no more Batman shooters, because the kids won’t be able to get their mail order guns any more. America must be disarmed just like the Europeans have been disarmed, mentally as well as physically. The European people are a beaten people, a cowardly people who stood by as they were overrun by a tyrannical EU socialist state. America will be the same, because we hypnotised you to stop and not do anything. You will take your orders and smile about it. We want you to be cowards like the Europeans. Yellow Jello European coward people not fit to lick the dog turd off Merkel’s boot heel. You wanted change folks, the new Socialist America, where there will be European Austerity/Poverty, total subjugation, total control and disarmament will be your change. I have no regard for you, the American people, because you will become gutless cowards just like the European people are just so that you can keep some of your goodies. You will be nameless, voteless and paying huge costs for everyday goods like fuel, food and utilities. Just look at the new Socialist government in France where the rich are now paying 75% taxation on all earnings. They do not want people to prosper in France, everyone is to be poor, so too will America. Your American Dream does not mean shit, especially to a Marxist like me. We will give your wealth to the ghettos, to the illegal immigrants, to the lazy, to the feckless, just like the European welfare system. Say goodbye to your wealth as I introduce so much taxation that you will not have any tea left to dump in f*cking Boston harbour. Say goodbye to it all, for you know you WILL vote for me. I have already fooled the blacks to vote for me, now the Hispanics will vote for me as I make false promises for them in the next election. Promises I will of course not keep like the other bullsh*t I told y’all last time. I will be voted in, and the predominantly white Republican Americans are in the minority now. You are finished, when I get a second term I will crush you all once and for all. I will put you all in a room and force Nancy Pelosi to undress in front of you and wave her mangy cooty over their shocked faces. You Republicans, are going to be no more, you have been overrun, you have been emasculated. It is impossible for Romney to win against me because I have mobilised the voters against him through means that he will never be able to understand,” Obama told CNN in the White House’s Rose Garden on Tuesday.

After the president’s speech in the Rose Garden, there were cheers and applause as all assembled praised Obama for his wonderful words.

Already, sentiment towards Obama is increasing for the better across America and his following especially in key states is rising daily.

“We got this one in the bag. There’s something about Americans wanting their presidents finishing the job they set out to do. We gave G.W Bush a second chance to ruin America’s standing and economy, so we will give Barack Hussein Obama a second chance to do the same. We want him to complete his mission,” an Obama supporter told CBS news.

Next European Fascist Leader Waiting in Wings As Euro Crisis Deepens

1

The Euro crisis is a breeding ground for fascism, as Daily Mail columnist, Melanie Phillips’s column will scream out the desire for a new right wing leader to squash all immigrants into the dirt, so too are thousands of others hoping for a new leader.

Under crisis, all pretence of democracy is removed from the equation. The EU is in deep crisis and weak so-called leaders like Herman Van Rompuy cannot do anything apart from stand in the headlights, dazzled like a deer about to be hit by a 4×4.

The new fascist leader is now waiting in the wings, biding his time, he will emerge with great glory and bring massive prosperity to the EU. Hitler built the Autobahns and gave every German a job, so too will the next leader, under the disguise of industry, he will bring back prosperity to the EU and lift it up as one singular entity to conquer all.

Hitler’s Reich failed to achieve its goal because of overt military action which was met with even more military force, the current EU, however is achieving more than he could dream of doing purely on an economic basis. Not one shot has been fired by the controlling German EU arm, and yet it has conquered whole nations solely by clever economics and politics. The last push will have to be military though, to finally seal the fate of the conquered nations and maybe finish the UK off once and for all.

“Cameron has helped us greatly by reducing the effectiveness of the British army and denying the British people a referendum on Europe. The previous Labour government helped us fracture the populations of Britain with vast immigration pushes. These effective methods have divided Britain and weakened it; coupled with enormous economic losses thanks to Gordon Brown, there is no room for the Brits to manoeuvre any more. They have been efficiently emasculated and prepped for slaughter,” a faceless EU bureaucrat revealed on French television yesterday.

The European Union is already a fascist state albeit with elements of collectivist communistic ideologies. The EU’s next step will bring into force a singular EU military force comprised of military components from all eurozone countries. This force will be similar to the Armeeabteilung and Waffen SS who will be ready for operations at any time.

“One must realise that out of chaos, the new leader will bring order. He will be financed by the bankers who created the economic crisis in the first place. Ordo ab Chao as they say in certain darkened rooms,” an EU commentator told Euronews today.

What happens after the new EU fascist leader comes into view is another matter. By that time, there could be fully fledged global conflict with Russia and China on one side and a North American union on the other. The EU, strategically, is bang in the middle of all, and this will either be a hindrance or a gift.

Greek Erinyes Fury at Germany Will Reap Its Revenge

0

The divine vengeance of the three Greek Goddesses, the Erinyes have taken their revenge on Germany, because the country will be downgraded by the ratings agencies soon.

As Alecto, Magaera and Tisiphone, bear their angry vengeance and grudge upon the German economy, this is the precursor for a major world recession so deep that it could last for the next forty years.

“All Germany had to do was agree to EU bonds and everything would be OK now. Instead, we’re going to take them down with us. We spent their money, they said we should pay it back, and now they’re in a huge mess. You cannot seriously expect a Greek to pay back the money he owes? Instead we send the three goddesses of vengeance and revenge to them. We will take down Germany with us,” Stavros Malakas, a Greek shop keeper in Athens told the EOKA Times.

American Society Created Batman Shooter

1

The Romans loved violence, and as the United States is modelled on the Roman Empire, so too does it love its violence.

“You can show someone’s head getting blown off in a film, but ladies nipples are out. Sex and love are obscene to Americans in mainstream media, but the cold hearted murder of thousands in some Hollywood shooting festival are perfectly acceptable to Americans. This is why American society is sick, not only because of the film media which is geared towards extreme violence, but the constant wars, the constant open tap of hatred spewed from networks like Fox news and people like Rush Limbaugh. There is a never ending torrent of seething hatred that America as a nation spews out to the world,” professor of psychology at Cambridge University, told the BBC.

Americans are desensitized by extreme violence and hatred because they see so much of it, everywhere they go the screens tell them how to feel, what to think and how to act. Couple the extreme violence with Ritalined children and drugged up adults and you get a very dangerous cocktail; skewed logic, a deadly uncontrollable force waiting to explode in civil war.

The Batman shooter was merely acting out his isolated American Dream, it was a gun festival, it was a celebration of the American gun. His isolation is in fact very similar to the same isolation felt by Paul Schrader’s Travis Bickle character, in the film Taxi Driver. 

“We built our nation with the gun. Our history is steeped in blood and guns, gunshot wounds, bullets and Remington six shooters. We built the Wild West with the gun, we shot those Indians till only a few were left with our guns, plus we robbed those stage coaches and trains with guns, without the gun we would not be American. So, you try and take away my gun, and you will see what happens,” Sam Willis, a pro gun lobby activist told the Washington Times on Sunday.

Americans also live in constant fear, where are you going to go when every place has the possibility of a crazed brainwashed gunman turning up and blowing your eight-year-old daughter away?

“It’s like Russian Roulette. You go to a mall to pick up some shoes, a gunman appears out of nowhere and blows away ten people. You go to the local burger joint, someone takes out an assault rifle because they didn’t get the right order, twelve people die. You go to your home, armed men have broken in and are demanding you hand over your ATM card and code or they shoot your family. This is the reality of living in America where there is a seething hatred for everything and where everything has to be given to you instantly, including fame and riches. Americans feel by shooting. This is what James Holmes was doing, he could not feel anymore, so he reached out with bullets. American society alienates those who do not play the game, who are not jocks, who are not cheerleaders. If you are none of those things, you are out, you are dead, goodbye you do not exist. How about after 911? If you did not wave an American flag, you were deemed a terrorist. If you did not call for the slaughter of Muslims around the world you were pretty much a pariah Muslim. This is the polarised society that is America, where there is no grey — only black and white,” an anonymous man who called up a late night talk show in Texas, said on Monday.

Euro Saved By Dismantling Churches Across Europe

0

“We have saved the EU and euro with a very simple solution. We took the vast trillions of euros languishing in the bank vaults put there by the various churches across Europe. Not only do these institutions get massive tax breaks and funding from the government and people but they also have a vast property portfolio and bank riches. All of that has been now used to plug the EU debt hole. In Greece, the Orthodox church is so rich that they do not even know what to do with all their money. As for Spain, the Catholic church is rich beyond anyone’s wildest dreams, as for Italia, the Holy See is a city unto itself with an enormous economy larger than even many countries. This will all be liquidated and given back to the people from whom they stole it all,” Joseph Breitlinger, EU Banking Minister told Euro Today news service.

Normal operations will still take place within all religious buildings in the EU, just that the massive wealth that these institutions have greedily acquired will not be there anymore.

“If we sold off all the church riches, not only could we feed every man and woman in the EU twenty times over for the next hundred years but the whole world could be fed as well. They have trillions of euros stashed away in vaults, thousands of tonnes of gold and millions of properties that could help millions of people worldwide,” Edith Guernica, a Spanish EU politician told Reuters.

London Olympics Will Leave Glorious Legacy of Debt and Decline

1

In a few years, the Olympic legacy will be a rusting pile of junk in the East End; deserted, only populated by homeless people living amongst the rat infested Olympic monoliths which were built with billions of pounds of taxpayers money.

“This money should have gone to saving the UK’s economy, instead it was wasted on stadiums and buildings which will be too expensive to run and fall into disrepair soon enough. Just look at what happened to Greece after it held its Olympics. Look at their stadium now and their economy. So too will Britain, in the last days of its decline, fall into a deep depression after the curse of the Olympics has set in to the weed encrusted concrete,” an East London man told the Guardian.

There are winners though. How about the bloated slimey Olympic officials who accepted Rolexes, top of the range Mercedes cars and luxury apartments on the Cote D’Azur? How about corrupt former runner organisers who are now revelling in overflowing bank accounts from kickbacks and savoury offshore payments?

This is the reality of the wasteful Olympics. The ordinary people were forced to pay for something they did want or need, just as they were forced to watch the wasteful useless Queen’s jubilee which cost the taxpayer £3 billion, so too will the Olympics be another nail in the coffin of the sick man of sick Europe.

Sacha Baron Cohen New Jewish Character For Movie

2

“I’ve been making fun of every other race and religion apart from my own, so I felt compelled to get out my Jew cap and play a crazy rabbi who goes back to the Holy Land and brings peace to the whole Middle East by exterminating all the Arabs. I researched my story by going back to basics, hanging out with my friends and family, and especially all the studio executives, producers, money men and media moguls,” Sacha Baron Cohen told the LA Times.

It is one thing making gentiles laugh but another making Jews laugh, and that is why Cohen has pulled out all the tricks of his comedy trade for this new flick.

“I made fun of Kazhakstanis, Gypsies, Gentiles, Negroes, Chinese, Gays, Americans, English, Arabs, Muslims, pretty much everyone I could find apart from Jews and Israelis. OK, there are a few moments in the Borat movie, but this new movie is dedicated to taking the piss out of Jews. Of course, I can do it, because I’m a Jew, just like Larry David does it so masterfully. If any goyim does it, they are immediately pounced on. Oi Vay, This will be my masterpiece,” Cohen told Screen magazine last week.

The opening scene for the film shows Sacha Baron Cohen’s character looking up at the 120 foot high concrete wall separating Gaza from Israel. He then starts to rock back his head, back and forth, just as is the custom at the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem. This is the new Wailing Wall.

The new Sacha Baron Cohen film will premiere in Jerusalem in February 2013, before general release across the world.

New Batman Movie Quite Violent Say Moviegoers

0

“Let me tell you, I felt the bullets whizzing past my head in the movie theatre as the gun fights erupted all over the fricking place. If you want to go and see a film that will have you limping with shrapnel afterwards, this is it. Five stars all the way baby,” Jon Neumonic, 21, from Denver, said on a local radio station film review show.

Another cinemagoer said: “Quite a lot of people get shot in the movie. I’m just glad it wasn’t real, otherwise it would’ve been damn scary.”

“I’ve never seen so many guns. I was expecting some kind of plot to the film but could not find it through the clouds of gunpowder smoke everywhere,” Sarah Toushine, 28, told CNN.

Let us hope that when the new Batman film is released in the UK it won’t be so violent.

Man Dies After Reading Daily Squib 40 Hours Straight

1

The 20-year-old man is believed to have collapsed during a marathon session reading the Daily Squib.

He was found by workers in the internet cafe in Tainan, southern Taiwan. It is believed he had not eaten for two days.

On the morning of July 15, an attendant entered the room and found Wing Wang Wong resting on a table. After the attendant woke him, he stood, started spouting Daily Squib articles, then took a few steps and collapsed, reports said.

He was pronounced dead shortly after arriving at a local hospital. Police were investigating the cause of death and an autopsy was being carried out.

It has been speculated that he was so involved with reading the Daily Squib that he could not tear himself away from the screen for one second.

It is the eighth death from reading the Daily Squib around the world this year.

In February, a man in New York was found dead, slumped in a chair facing a computer with his arms still reaching out for the keyboard after reading the Daily Squib for 73 hours. The cause of death was reported as death by satire.

Martin Luther King Honoured at Walmart Flash Mob Robbery Event

2

“We’ve come a long way since the sixties, and I know for sure that Martin Luther King would have been really proud of us,” Trayvon Jackson, 21, from Jacksonville, Florida told CBS news as he stuck six bottles of beer into his satchel and ran out of the store last night.

“I had a dream”

Flash mob robberies are the latest craze amongst ‘black teens’, dubbed by the muzzled American press as ‘young people’.

“When you have one African American kid go into a store and steal a load of booze and junk food, he can be arrested or stopped. When you have fifty or hundred walk into a store, bodega or gas station, there ain’t nothing anyone can do but watch in horror as your entire stock is cleaned out in less than fifteen minutes. This is the terrible beauty of mass flash robberies. By the time the police are on the scene, maybe twenty minutes later, they are gone. All you have are a few shots from a grainy video showing black kids with hoods stealing everything they can find, and a load of empty shelves,” Florida store owner, Al Harris, who has had his shop flash robbed three times in the same month, told local news stations.

Invariably, it is the few African Americans who are giving the rest a bad name with their actions, and as a result the media portrays black people in America in a negative light.

“Black people have done this to themselves. No one told us to go out and rob stores in large groups. No one told us to make ghettos. No one told us to present ourselves as gangbangers and pimps, rapping our gangsta music all over the place. We did this to ourselves, and we took our progress back fifty or sixty years. You don’t see other races doing this shit. Asian kids? Hispanic kids? White kids? Just niggas!,” Jurisha LaTrine, 54, a youth Councillor, told a local Florida radio station last night.