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What Would America Look Like Under Trump

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The night of the election, there is a strange quiet on the streets and boulevards of America. People have voted, and the election results will soon be in.

Families pack around their TVs, munching away as the results slowly ebb in to newsrooms. Trump got New York, Trump got Massachusetts, Trump got Minnesota, pretty much every state apart from California.

The final results reveal a Trump win that everyone saw coming.

That night, the National Guard is mobilised across the entire United States, every home, every dwelling is visited and those who are deemed as undesirables are led out into the streets and put into prison trucks.

Families are torn apart overnight, some taken away, some left behind. There are shoot-outs as some try to stay in their homes but are killed or injured in the fighting.

National Guard take civilians FEMA

The morning after, people wake up and wonder where everyone has gone?

“You seen Kamal? He was meant to go to come into work this morning?” Julia, his co-worker in an electronics company, asks.

She will never see Kamal again and neither will any other person as he is now in a FEMA camp set for deportation or processing. There are millions of people in these camps all scared, clueless as to what is to become of them, all at the mercy of the cruel camp guards who taunt and beat them daily.

New-York-National-Guard

In the FEMA camps, ‘processing’ means you are processed for extermination. There are incinerators in each camp which can reduce human bodies to ashes in less than fifteen minutes. Many are processed within the first few weeks of the Trump presidency. The plumes of smoke rise across all American cities as the furnaces burn day and night to exterminate the Untermenschen.

All borders around the United States are closed and the army has been given the job of keeping each centimetre of the borders under watch.

Civilians-interned-in-FEMA-camps

Most of Miami is now a ghost town, as the millions of Hispanics are now in camps or have been shipped back to South America or Cuba.

Los Angeles’ population has been reduced by 89% and the African Americans and Hispanics are all safely away from the white population.

On the fourth week of his presidency, Trump decides the Middle East is a problem that can only be solved by nuclear means. An atomic bomb is dropped on Syria, killing millions of people. The global community is outraged, and the United Nations calls an emergency meeting where the U.S. is castigated for such irresponsible behaviour.

nuclear bomb middle east - syria

Trump says: “I solved the Middle East problem in half an hour. What would have taken decades or never I solved, so suck my balls bitch!”

As the radiation plumes spread across Iraq, Iran, Turkey, Jordan and Israel, many who are not in shelters suffer from radiation poisoning and die slow painful deaths.

Meanwhile, Russia and China have been standing by watching the Don nuke half the Middle East. They show their disapproval of Trump’s actions by cutting off all diplomatic ties with the U.S.

Has President Trump bitten off more than he can chew? He is irrational and surrounded by yes men who dare not say a word against his emotive outbursts and illogical undiplomatic rhetoric.

The third month of the presidency is the penultimate one and Trump loses his cool with Putin, who is setting up Arctic bases close to the U.S.

The president orders Putin to get out of the Arctic and take his Russian soldiers back to Russia. In true Putin style, he stands his ground, something that makes Trump blow another gasket because he is only used to getting what he wants immediately.

Who fired the first shot is not known, but the result was an exchange resulting in thousands of Russian soldiers dying in their now ruined Arctic bases.

Putin, angered by this aggressive stance by Trump, pushes through Ukraine in one week, then takes Finland.

Meanwhile in Libya, where ISIS have regrouped, there is a major push into Morocco and Italy. It seems the nuclear bomb in Syria did little or nothing to thwart the group.

Trump wants Libya nuked but is told in no uncertain terms that this action would start World War III in nuclear terms.

Undeterred, Trump nukes central Libya killing over 5.8 million people.

multiple launch

On the 18th of February, radar stations based in Europe detect multiple launches from Russia and China towards the United States.

Trump is woken up in the White House, he is told to get to Air Force One immediately to be taken to the special bunker.

NORAD tracks the ballistic missiles getting closer, Trump gives the order, and as the first mushroom clouds are seen towering over U.S. cities, Trump and his family have been successfully delivered to their bunker. Safe and sound.

Trump: “No! I’m Not a Nazi I Just Hate N*ggers, Ch*nks, Sp*cks, Muslims and Retards”

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“Disabled people, I call them retards. What are they there for? When I’m prez we’ll just give ’em a pill, put them into a sleep — permanently!” Trump told another whooping audience whilst waving his arms around imitating a mentally handicapped person.

The crowd’s cheering rose to a crescendo as the Trump moved onto Muslims.

“If I see one, I get my bodyguard to shoot it. Hey, it’s that simple. I don’t care, woman, man, child, whatever. We need to kill ’em all like we did to the Injuns.”

As for Chinese people, the Don suddenly squinted his eyes and started talking like Fu Manchu.

“Flied Lice? Numbah 22! Ching, chong, ching, chong! They good at maths though. Know about the numbahs! But they can’t drive for shit. When I’m prez, we’ll probably nuke China. I’ll just say oops my finger slipped, hit the red button.”

Trump’s vitriolic hatred did not end there though, he saved his worst for the last.

“Jeez, I hate Sp*cks worse than anything else. Greasers, comin’ over here and their stank food makes you fart. The other night I ate a burrito, I was farting like a cowboy round the fire. They smell, they’re ugly and when I’m president I’m sending them all back to Mexico. Fuck ’em! They ain’t done nothing for this country apart from stink the joint up!”

“N*ggers are okay though, they got that musical thang going on. They’re a very musical people. One boy, he was shining my shoe the other day, you know spit shine, I gave him a fifty cent tip. Wow. He was so happy just for that. Not bad for a 65 year old negro. Sure they’re dumb as shit, but so are women. Never trust anything that bleeds once a month and still lives after that. I just use them, don’t get me wrong I cherish women, as long as they’re on their backs gettin’ fucked!”

Experts: The British Government is Not a Government If It Cannot Make Its Own Laws

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Why does the British government have to ask permission to do anything?

If this is the case, and the British government cannot do anything without permission from others, it is NOT a government.

government
noun
noun: government; plural noun: governments
  1. the group of people with the authority to govern a country or state; a particular ministry in office.

The British ‘government’ therefore under the current EU regime is not a sovereign government and cannot make its own laws, it cannot therefore govern, and is merely a symbolic organisation of people with NO power to run their own affairs.

David Cameron is therefore NOT a prime minister and there are no members of parliament in the House of Commons, simply because they cannot exercise their own laws or directives.

Until the day comes when Britain can make its own governing decisions there is NO current government in power today in the United Kingdom.

Strictly Jungle Factor Just a Symptom of War?

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Bread and circuses, is that it? When times are shitty they give us Strictly or put some non-entities into a jungle or they bring out block head Cowell to exploit mentally ill teenagers who want to be the next big ‘fing’.

Why is it that whenever there’s some sort of war on in the Middle East or terror alerts, they put this mindless crap on TV? If you posit the argument that it is pure escapism, that is wrong, because escapism should be enjoyable and not torture.

How is this entertainment? Watching some narcissistic Strictly poseur prancing around a stage in a camp manner and enduring the indignity of being graded like some Crufts poodle? At what level of ‘entertainment’ does one acquire a revolver from a dodgy bloke in a pub and put it against their own cranium.

But what else is there to watch on the telly these days? Switch the fucking channel and get a bunch of z-listers in a jungle being forced to eat spiders and shit into buckets. How low do the celebuturds want to go? It seems so low that all self respect, dignity or decorum are completely amiss.

Switch the channel and get X-factor or whatever it’s called. Simon Cowell comes on with his circus of inequity, the banal talentless pieces of detritus not fit for any purpose but a one way trip to a glue factory are judged by equally talentless money-grabbing suckers of satan’s cock.

This, ladies and gentleman is not entertainment, it is torture, it is crud of the highest order, puerile pestilence and you the audience lap it up because you have no idea about quality of entertainment. Is that it? Why on earth would an audience favour this shit, when it would be preferable to be tortured by a thousand cuts by some Chinese chap from the 19th century?

Conclusion: The audience is to blame purely on the basis that they watch this crap.

Latest American Stealth destroyer Might As Well Have a Big Target On the Side

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“We call it the Lego ship because it resembles..er..you know a kid that built a ship out of Lego,” Admiral Barnwall Sturmer, told the Navy Times.

Billed as a stealth destroyer invisible to radar, the ship can be seen from miles away with a $2.99 pair of binoculars from Walmart.

“You can see this ship from space it stands out so much. Hell it has massive sheet metal sides easy for targeting. All you need is a few missiles slamming into the side and it’s toast,” a nervous Navy sailor said as he boarded the ship for the first time.

The Russians were asked to comment on the ship on Monday, but all that was heard were cackles of laughter and guffawing.

Priced at $4.4 billion it’s just another death trap piece of floating sardine can junk that would see the seabed as soon as a war broke out.

Ireland Sinks Under the Waves Torrents of Rain Apocalypse Disaster

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The Emerald Isle is sadly now under 30 feet of water.

The sad news was relayed by reporters just before a wall of water standing 300 feet high swept over Ireland and rains thundered down through the black clouds.

Apocalypse

“Those who had boats are still floating in the Irish sea. It was every man, woman, and child for themselves. The devastation is so awful that I’m blubbing like a little baby right now telling you this. Aaargh!” a report relayed from the area just before disaster hit.

Rescuers are appealing to anyone who has a boat or rubber dinghy to assist in helping the evacuation of many swimming or stranded in the Irish sea over what used to be Ireland.

Please call: RESCUE IRELAND 09789 48755 578493 (Calls cost £34,569/minute)

 

Putin Drinks Glass of Polonium Every Day

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According to Russian sources, including the president’s personal chamber maid, he drinks a glass of polonium each morning with his breakfast.

“I deliver the glass to our Tsar in a lead lined box. He then drinks it down in one. Afterwards, I have to take the empty glass to a special area where it is sealed and disposed of with other nuclear waste,” Svetlana Babushka, told the Tass news agency.

Former FSB agent, Igor Rostov, revealed that over the years of poisoning his dissenters and rivals, Putin slowly grew immune to the effects, and many have tried to poison Putin to no avail.

“We were out in Siberia on a shooting trip when Putin pulled down his trousers and urinated in a lake. By sundown all the wildlife and fish had died and were floating on the lake,” the former friend of Putin, who is now dead, revealed before his death in August.

Jihadist Explodes With Love in Trafalgar Square

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Witnesses say the jihadist started shaking uncontrollably and ripped his coat off whilst reciting words that no one could understand.

“I saw him he looked a bit funny. Then his eyes rolled up in ecstasy and he was blowing kisses at every one. Everyone could feel the love, it was as if sprinkles of multicoloured dust were flying off him, then when he ripped his jacket off we all ran because we thought it was a suicide vest, but it was a t-shirt with a peace sign on it and the word L-O-V-E on it. That’s when he exploded, like a trillion fireworks undulating across the square and sky, a sonic boom where we saw the blast waves ripple through the crowd. Everyone started hugging each other, black, white, whatever, we even saw a rabbi suddenly hug a Muslim man giving him a big smacker on the cheek. Man, that was the most amazing high I ever felt, better than any drug. Shit, I’m still tripping right now,” Miles Brigstow, 28, a student at UCL who was in the square at the time told the BBC.

The Metropolitan Police and bomb squad who attended the scene of the love blast never found any remains of the jihadist apart from a few wisps of glowing embers.

Meanwhile, in Syria, the martyr was denounced as a kook and someone not in tune with the Jihadist cause of hatred.

Crocodiles Seen in Cumbria

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“It’s that climate change they’ve all been going on about, innit,” Dave Cockermouth, 32, from Cumbria said after wading through what used to be his High Street.

David Attenborough just flew in to the town of Crummock to check out the crocs for a new episode of Planet Earth featuring the flooded croc infested streets of Cumbria.

“Fascinating. We have witnessed about twenty of these crocodiles, possibly the snub nosed Crocodylus cumbriactus. These waters are a perfect environment for them to flourish.”

Luckily no one has been hurt or eaten by the crocs who can grow to a length of 6 feet, but one woman had her Aldi bag snatched by a hungry crocodile who then consumed the contents including a Shepherd’s pie and trifle pudding right in front of the shocked woman.

Brits Advised to Wear Bullet Proof Vests if Visiting California

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Britain’s America Travel Bureau are advising all Britons to wear bullet proof vests, hard hats and if possible hiring bodyguards when visiting California.

“We are advising all travellers to take precautions as the level of gun violence, shootings and terrorism in California is very high. Please read all of our recommendations before even thinking about buying a ticket to that area,” Julie Simmons, a representative of the Bureau told the BBC.

John Tremendes, a tour operator in San Bernardino wants to capitalise on the terror and is offering visitors protection in a hired APC (Armoured Personnel Carrier).

“We got good protection from Muslims. This thing can withstand a direct hit from an RPG (Rocket-Propelled Grenade) as well as most sub machine gun fire. We have turrets and .50 cal gun on top, but that’s optional. Thermal and night vision. We can even pick you up at the airport, and deliver you to your bunker, ahem, I mean hotel.”

Trained bodyguards or mercenaries don’t come cheap though. BlackMamba is an outfit of hardened mercenaries who have seen every combat situation under the sun, to hire a single merc may set you back $15,000 per day but it’s worth it if you and your family keep your lives.

Abel Johnson is offering day trips to Santa Barbara for $16,500 all inclusive including travel to and from the LZ, in a Blackhawk helicopter and armed bodyguards so you can enjoy a stroll by the beach without dying in a hail of bullets.

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