17.7 C
London
Friday, November 6, 2026
secret satire society
Home Blog Page 512

Iraq Dispatch: Al Sadr’s Back and This Time He Means Business

Parsons Knowse
-
0
Iraq Dispatch: Al Sadr’s Back and This Time He Means Business

According to reports on the ground Al Sadr and his Shiite militia men are on the march once again, this time to the U.S. embassy in Baghdad’s heavily fortified Green Zone.

This ominous Baghdad Spring can only mean one thing, the Shiite militias want to turf America out once and for all and are taking the reigns from the subordinate Shia Vichy government put in place by the U.S.

Already, ISIS has made many in-roads towards Baghdad and are within 50 kms of the city. These facts are not reported by the mainstream media too pre-occupied with election reporting to care, but the augurs do not fare well for Baghdad’s residents whether in the Green Zone or not.

If Baghdad falls to either faction, the Obama administration would not only have lost most of Iraq but half of Ukraine as well. Obama’s intransigence towards his own military has definitely not paid off, as America loses all the gains it made globally, and more.

Soon we may see the same scenes the world witnessed in Saigon as Hueys lifted off every few minutes from the U.S. embassy as the Vietcong ambled their way through the streets calmly and with little resistance.

 

Mitt Romney’s Gift to Donald Trump

Parsons Knowse
-
0

An increasingly desperate GOP wheeled out Mitt Romney to lambaste Donald Trump on Thursday, an event that spectacularly backfired on the establishment.

You’d think they were giving a gift to Trump. I’d say Trump voters tripled in number after the Romney speech because not long after, Trump took the stage and explained point by point how everything Romney said was wrong. Trump then positioned himself as a person being unduly attacked, especially after supporting Romney in the past.

“I was on the sidelines about Trump but after the Romney speech and then seeing Trump’s answer, I immediately went to the Trump side,” Cory Johnsons, 41, a baker from Portland, told local news stations.

Although Romney talked a lot of sense with regards to Trump, it is a sad detriment to the vulgarity of Trump and his fans who will capitalise on the speech.

One has to make two assumptions about GOP: either they are really fucking stupid or they knew the reaction and are actually counting on Trump.

Donald Trump may be a fraud, but he is fooling the American people with impeccable calculating ardour. You may say it is not too hard a task to fool the lemmings lining up at electoral rallies, however there is some merit to Trump’s technique in pulling the wool over the eyes of the people. GOP may eventually have to settle with Trump, because it will mean having a person at the helm who is good at lying and duping the population whilst smiling like a jackal. A perfect candidate if there ever was one.

Switzerland Suspends Application to Join EU

Parsons Knowse
-
0
Switzerland Suspends Application to Join EU

For years Switzerland has had a request pending to join the Union. But today the country quietly let that application lapse. Its citizens can all see for themselves one of the differences between being in the EU or being outside it. Switzerland is prospering out of the EU, and will never join the corruption laden greedy institution.

Today Switzerland is stronger and freer as a result of being outside, rather than inside the EU. Independence and non-bureaucratic flexibility is an important part of the Swiss success.

“This is a clear and historical message from the Swiss parliament to British voters. We wish you the best of luck for Brexit. These days, Switzerland is called Britzerland because Swiss people support the Brexit”, said MP Lukas Reimann.

EU Referendum: Calm Before the Storm

Parsons Knowse
-
0
EU Referendum: Calm Before the Storm

Cue Norman Lamont, Nigel Lawson, Michael Howard.

To the strains of Thin Lizzy’s epic tune The Boys are Back in Town, these hard hitters are a firm boot in the backside of the relative noob David Cameron and Georgie Osborne.

The level directly concentric to the big boys, we have Gove, IDS, and Boris, a formidable team of established emissaries bidding to open up a serious can of whoop ass on the remain camp.

If one was to establish a fighting force, this would be it, and somehow they gel together.

Although David Cameron has been secretive about his dealings with Tony Blair, Peter Mandelson has been at his side throughout the preparations leading up to EU negotiations. It would not be wrong to guess therefore, that Alistair Campbell or even Gordon Brown have hissed a few words of advice to Cameron during the sell-out period.

Having announced the EU referendum in June, there is a feeling of disquiet across the nation, a certain peace before the storm, as these are still early days.

Preparations are being made, Machiavellian plans are being hatched but there is one certainty; those on the British side are fighting for Britain, they’re the pilots and Air Marshals who flew and directed operations over the Kent countryside in 1940. The other side who wish to fight against Britain, choose to forget about war heroes who fought for their country instead opting for the role of Luftwaffe and in Mandelson’s case, the SS.

One last stand. Will Britain prevail? Will it fight? Never surrender should no doubt be the call as Britain rises like a phoenix from the flames of EU purgatory to break free once and for all. Do not forget the sacrifices of those who gave their lives for your freedom and democracy. The EU does not wish to preserve democracy within its dictatorship and to fall into its arms will surely break Britain forever.

Always remember this: Once Britain is gone..it’s gone. Never Give Up! Never Surrender!

Onward..

 

EU Referendum: Since When Has High Treason Become Part of Government Policy?

Parsons Knowse
-
9
EU Referendum: Since When Has High Treason Become Part of Government Policy?

 

This treasonous fact, seems to be dusted under the carpet, but it is intrinsically true.

The In campaign of the EU Referendum led by the PM is effectively working against Britain’s interests, its security, its sovereignty and ultimately the monarchy.

If Britain stays in the EU, the monarchy may be abolished by the orders of the European Union. Under the EU’s collectivist strategy, much of the land that the current monarchy owns now under the Crown, would be subject to confiscation by the EU and opened up to the public, effectively abolishing thousands of years of British royal heritage.

There are most certainly plans within the EU to halt the British monarchy after Queen Elizabeth II’s reign, and where would this leave the successors of her majesty? Funding to the monarchy within the EU would either be halted or severely cut.

The royal house of Windsor is seen as a major threat to the EU because it still holds some constitutional power, and every law has to be passed ultimately by the Queen. The EU wishes to take away Britain’s sovereignty completely, and David Cameron is pushing for the complete dissolution of the monarchy in the long run.

William Joyce (Lord Haw Haw) was the last person to be hanged for High Treason in 1946, and although capital punishment has been outlawed in Britain since 1965, today the maximum punishment for high treason is a long stretch in prison, since the Crime and Disorder Act of 1998.

  • to deprive the sovereign of the Crown,
  • to levy war against the sovereign “in order by force or constraint to compel her to change her measures or counsels, or in order to put any force or constraint upon or in order to intimidate or overawe both Houses or either House of Parliament”, or
  • to “move or stir” any foreigner to invade the United Kingdom or any other country belonging to the sovereign.cameron treason640

If David Cameron loses his bid to commit high treason against the state and the monarchy, he may find himself in prison for a very long time.

It is not just the highest echelons of political office who are thus at risk here, but the people who are vocally calling for Britain to stay In the EU who are also at risk. In the future, they themselves may be targeted as unreliable, as treasonous vermin, and as traitors to Britain. You are being tracked on twitter, on Facebook or wherever you voice your tawdry treasonous opinion, and if the future is Out of the EU, you will be remembered, as will the treasonous members of parliament who chose the side of Britain’s dissolution and surrender to the enemy.

To be hanged, drawn and quartered was the punishment for treason hundreds of years ago, and the four corners of Britain would display the remains of the traitor rotting on spikes, displayed for all to see.

Comrade Cameron Crushing His Own Party and Country

Parsons Knowse
-
0
Comrade Cameron Crushing His Own Party and Country

Nothing gets in the way of a dictator and control freak like Comrade Cameron, especially when it comes to the EU Referendum where there was no Plan B, or exit strategy.

“EU Comrades, I announced the EU Referendum knowing full well that there was no Plan B. I therefore set up the referendum so there is only one viable answer for voters to give. I squashed grassroots Tories and expelled half of my Cabinet. I consorted with the enemy i.e. Tony Blair and the dark Lord Mandelson. I alienated 80% of the Tory party and have shit on the people of Britain and their history, but frankly I do not care, because I am right and everyone else is wrong. I am the supreme comrade in chief here, not you. I will continue in my mission until it is complete, so there.”

COMRADE CAMERON STALIN

Police State Britain: The End of Democracy Within EU Totalitarian Dictatorship

Parsons Knowse
-
0
Police State Britain: The End of Democracy Within EU Totalitarian Dictatorship

Led by David Cameron, democracy is now a waning memory in British historical annals.

Why are the likes of David Cameron and his evil Eurocentric cronies acting like a bunch of totalitarian tin pot dictators? The answer is in the EU, Britain is being swallowed up by the totalitarian pseudo-fascist EU Marxist state, and Dave just doesn’t give a shit in hiding it any more.

“I wish to make it even more unpleasant to live in the UK. We will search your homes, listen to your calls and track you wherever you may go. We will do this because we’re staying in the EU and they make the orders here now,” Cameron told the BBC sneering down at the camera.

merkel cameron eu child

The Prime Minister detests the British people, and is not only willing to sell them down the river with his traitorous villainy but he doesn’t trust you one bit either. You may be innocent, never committed a crime in your life, but you will still be treated like a criminal from birth to death.

Bringing in the snoopers charter is one step closer to the real EU plan, and Cameron’s treason against Britain and its people will be apparent in a few years time when people will be made to just disappear.

“The EU Snoopers Charter will be used to sniff out any dissent to the EU. They will come in the early hours of the morning for you wearing black masks. Bundling you into an unmarked van, you will be taken to an area for processing before interrogation and then liquidation. Dissent against the totalitarian state will not be permitted,” an unnamed EU official revealed before slinking back into the shadows giggling like a hyena.

Leaving EU Would be Shock to UK Economy But a Good Shock Say Experts

Parsons Knowse
-
2
Leaving EU Would be Shock to UK Economy But a Good Shock Say Experts

Business leaders and economists all agree, the initial shock on leaving may well be a hardy journey to traverse, mainly because the EU’s two year control period, in which it will seek to damage the UK further, but once the chains are lifted, the UK would be set free once again to do as it did for centuries before it was enslaved.

Yes, there are many horror stories being bandied about by the Project Fear emissaries of terror, however no one is saying that life would be all roses outside the EU, the truth is it won’t be easy, however once Britain recovers from the shackles of the EU it would prosper as it has for millennia.

Britain always comes out on top whatever happens, it is this spirit of adversity that put the Great into Britain.

Outside of the EU, there are thousands of free trade agreements, whether multi-lateral or bilateral. There is the Commonwealth and the Anglo-nations. Britain would once again forge closer ties with India, North America and the Far East and whoever else wants to trade. New trading agreements can always be made up, bigger, better, more lucrative for all parties. The globe is an open opportunity and Britain does not have to be constrained to one tiny area of the world. Think globally, as the Victorians did, not closed off and limited in horizons.

Britain leaving the EU, will not mean that Europe trade will suddenly cease, as deals will continue, and even though the EU may be spiteful and want Britain to fail, they will most certainly put a few obstacles in its way to show the rest of the EU countries that leaving is bad.

The EU is most of all afraid of a strong Britain. They also do not want a country prospering outside the EU, because of contagion to other imprisoned states within its control mechanism.

There is no doubt, that there will be an initial shock to the system, but this would be a good shock, as the chains holding Britain would be broken. An emancipation, and a New beginning from slavery and limitation as the EU’s whipping boy.

Fuck the EU dear friends, and let us look ahead to good times, free, free from the shackles, the trade limits, the quotas, the Brussels red-tape and the ridiculous diktats inhibiting Britain.

Great Britain is bigger than the pox-ridden EU, and the EU knows it. That’s why they’re scared right now.

BREAK FREE! Once and for all!

David Cameron: Britons Need to Work Harder to Pay £886 Million Benefits to EU Migrants Per Year

Parsons Knowse
-
0
David Cameron: Britons Need to Work Harder to Pay £886 Million Benefits to EU Migrants Per Year

“Next year the bill will rise to over £1.6 billion so I am asking Britons to work harder so the EU migrants can enjoy free housing, tax credits, child benefit, free schools, free NHS and also free holidays for the EU migrants mostly from Romania and Poland. Remember that along with the vast benefits they receive they also send most of the money back to their homelands so it does not stay in Britain. You must therefore work harder and I have asked Georgie boy to raise income taxes so you will take less money home and work longer hours with minimal pensions. Don’t forget to vote to stay ‘In’ the EU, by the way.”

£886 million

Giougiou Haj, 27, who arrived from Romania praised the PM’s speech.

“Thank you David Cameron. Let the British work harder so I can enjoy myself more. I make £40,000 per annum begging and pickpocketing in Trafalgar Square. I also get £3,500 per week benefits for my imaginary extended family of twenty, and my wife recently got her teeth veneered on the NHS at a cost of £65,000 to the taxpayer. Next year she wants a breast enlargement so she can make more money as a prostitute. My twelve real kids back in Romania are receiving child benefit cheques every week and our Edwardian mansion in Grosvenor Square is funded purely by the British taxpayer. Remember to vote to stay ‘In’ the EU you stupid muppets, we’re taking you for a ride. Work harder, so I can enjoy a life of luxury off your sweat and tears you filthy mugs. Ha, ha, ha, hah!”

Chancellor George Osborne, will unveil income tax rises, pension raids and cuts in essential services next week.

Strategists: Putin Wants Britain to Stay In EU

Parsons Knowse
-
3
Strategists: Putin Wants Britain to Stay In EU

“What the EU does is it weakens individual nations, not only economically but militarily. This simple fact plays into the hands of Putin who does not want a strong Britain, he much prefers a weak country, watered down, flooded with migrants and destabilised internally.

“Putin is currently carpet bombing whole swathes of Syria creating a humanitarian crisis never before seen in this century. His plan is to create a mass exodus of people into Europe destabilising it and effectively disarming the EU state. The EU leaders are too pre-occupied with dealing with the mass migration to bother about Putin’s troop movements in the Crimean peninsula or along the borders of Finland, and other Scandinavian countries.

“The supreme chess player, Putin’s overall plan is to take Europe and his first strategy is one of chaos, anarchy, destabilisation of all EU nations who are now weakened and cannot fight back.

“This is why, if Britain joins the EU, it will thus be swallowed up by the EU mechanism of stripping nations down to weakened carcasses, unable to defend themselves, basic shells devoid of a functioning economic apparatus, and also to strip the country of its will to fight. The EU does this by de-programming any nationalism within the country it has taken over. Through education and brainwashing techniques within all levels of society.

“If Britain votes to stay in, Putin’s plan will have worked. Britain’s borders will be ordered to open fully by the EU, and would receive an estimated 20 million migrants, further destroying the NHS, schools, and other public services. There would not be any welfare system because the deluge would drain all funds.

“David Cameron, the current British PM, does not know anything about military matters, strategy or geopolitical technique. He is solely interested in his little world of EU bottom-sniffing, and his aspirational career. The non-legally-bound deal he made with EU unelected bureaucrats would not stop anything, and would weaken Britain enormously playing into the hands of Vladimir Putin.

“To make one’s on decisions is paramount to any security situation, and in the EU, Britain would be stripped of this further. It is therefore in Britain’s interests to leave the EU immediately, for to not do so would relinquish itself to forces far more nefarious and cause a calamity much worse in the long term.

“Putin’s strategy is in the long term and he is betting on more destabilisation first, to ready the ground for the final push. Putin does not want Europe to be destroyed completely, and he will resist full nuclear use, as his aspiration is to build a New World Order in his name this is why he is using the migrant deluge as a primary attack plan, and it is working.”

1...511512513...830Page 512 of 830
squib footer 270

Breaking News

Copyright © Daily Squib 2026.

The Daily Squib is a curious satirical parody newspaper offering breaking news, political satire, comedy, investigative journalism, opinion and celebrity news.