The new Chancellor of the Exchequer, Kwasi Kwarteng today conceded that he may have made a little mistake with his new budget.
“Er, I was never very good at maths at school. I don’t even know what 7 x 4 is … (clacking on calculator) … oh, that’s what it is. Anyway, er…I think I owe everyone who is going to lose their home, their business and their entire livelihood an apology. As for the NHS, that’s fucked as well. By next week, you won’t have a pension, a home and an NHS. Oops!”
How did all of this happen?
Apparently Kwasi Kwarteng, who is barely literate or numerate, pressed the wrong button for the economy.
“They told me to go in a room where there were all these buttons and lights flashing on and off. To be honest, it all confused me. Liz had told me to press a certain button, but I am not sure I pressed it because I tripped up, and my arm fell on a panel with multiple buttons. Was it the red button, or the yellow flashing one, or maybe the green one? Oh dear, dearie me!”
Darlene Mucklespout, 43, from Colchester gave Meghan Markle a £5 note while she was on a rare walkabout with other royals after the Queen’s death, it has been reported.
“I heard that Meghan was surprised that she did not get paid for greeting crowds of people whilst in Australia, so I waved a crisp five pound note in her face when she came up to me in the crowd.”
According to Darlene and other onlookers Meghan Markle’s eyes immediately lit up like a pair of newly drafted Russian soldiers both simultaneously stepping on a landmine just after arriving in Ukraine.
“Meghan quickly grabbed the fiver and told me that she does not get out of bed for less than $2.5 million, but on this occasion she would take my money. She literally grabbed it and said ‘gives me that’ which took me off guard. We were all gobsmacked. Me gran, Ada who was in a wheelchair took out a ten penny piece and threw it at Meghan. It fell on the pavement but this did not stop the greedy wife of Prince Harry from scrabbling around on all fours to pick it up to stash in her $12,000 purse.”
There are powerful forces at play causing a run on the pound. As it falls daily, the Remainers who have infiltrated the Bank of England whack up the interest rate to add even more misery to ordinary Britons.
You booked your fucking holidays, but now realise your pounds are worth less than the currency value of your destination. Add in the extra £2,500 mortgage costs you have to now pay, this is when you get a chronic case of sphincter knot tightening.
Britain’s enemies are now attacking the economy directly. On one hand, the Russians are not too happy with us, then you have the anti-British Biden crew, as well as the remainers in the City/BoE/civil service, the Soros whales, and of course the EU itself. All of those factions and more are counting on ruining the British economy and profiting off its ruin.
Lest we forget The Great Reset, a future communist utopia where ordinary people no longer own any assets or things. This collectivist nightmare scenario involves a perpetually impoverished population who have had all their assets and wealth stripped so that the 1% can rule over them with an even heavier iron fist from their luxurious palaces and mansions.
Is Britain now a Great Reset Recession experiment? It certainly is increasingly looking like that, because they know Brits are essentially pliant despite every indignity under the sun being foisted upon them.
An Englishman’s home used to be his castle, but with mortgage rates and insane interest rate hikes, there will be no more home or castle. People will be forced to sell their fucking houses. Renters will be forced onto fucking park benches, and landlords with mortgages will all go bankrupt.
Still, look on the bright side, there is no bright side, just a dark dank black shit filled ditch where hope floats around like a huge smelly turd in a sea full of bloated festering corpses.
As the pound continues its precipitous drop into an infinite black hole of shit, there’s one guy who is enjoying all of this — Soros. Yes, no doubt, the big whale is back, shorting the GBP is something he absolutely lives for, and as he sits in a darkened room with multiple screens and his assistants running around delivering reports, Soros smiles as he notches up another billion to add to one of his offshore accounts.
“When there is no way of getting out of a sticky situation, they put the brown and black people in charge. That’s why Kwasi Kwarteng, the newly appointed Chancellor of the Exchequer, is effectively the current fall guy who will take the blame for the economy as the once Great British Pound tanks,” a Treasury worker revealed.
It is nigh on impossible to have any form of growth with high interest rates, a tanking currency, and insane levels of inflation. People will default on their mortgage payments as the daily interest rate rises take up every part of their income. Food, fuel and energy bills will increase.
As a response, it is no surprise that Labour is 17% ahead of the Tories in polls, as the Marxists take advantage of the current malaise in the economy.
The government must realise that the drop in the pound’s value will not only affect imports into the UK, but will also affect the cost of government borrowing. The action of the pound dropping will alone cause inflation to rise even further, as the insane idiots in the Bank of England respond with further increases in interest rates. This will not fix anything, and only compounds the circular effect of economic destruction.
It would thus be advisable for the government to prepare for mass civil unrest. As people lose their homes, their jobs and businesses go bust due to high interest rates as inflation continues to rise, there will be some who will protest. Depending on the severity of the coming economic downturn, society itself could completely collapse.
Yuri, 48, a father of six from Siberia, was drafted on Friday. By Sunday, military recruiters forced him onto a bus straight to the front line in Ukraine.
“I was allowed one day with my family, then they forced us onto a bus,” Yuri, recalled.
Because of the mass exodus of drafted civilians from Russia, the Putin regime is now attempting to secure all borders and airports in the country to stop the fleeing men. Any drafted individual caught at a border control area will be immediately arrested and directed to a military barracks.
It’s not all bad news for Putin’s army though, some of the drafted are eager to go to Ukraine and continue the brutal illegal invasion.
Alexei Bolakov, 26, from St Petersburg, described his excitement at the thought of going to Ukraine.
“I was known as the village idiot where I live. My teacher at school, she said I had an IQ of a pebble. That’s ridiculous, I told her because my IQ was officially 24. Hah, that showed her.
“I cannot wait to be stuck in a freezing, muddy, rat infested, wet trench at Christmastime. I will fashion a Christmas tree from a few broken twigs. The sergeant said if we survive for more than three weeks, we get a bonus of 100 Roubles.”
The life expectancy for the drafted civilians is estimated at two weeks.
The Führer of the Fourth Reich EU totalitarian state, Ursula von der Leyen has warned the Italian people that if they vote in a democratic election for the Brothers of Italy party, led by Giorgia Meloni, the unelected Führer des Großdeutschen Reiches will utilise certain techniques to dismantle the democratic vote of the Italian people.
Speaking from the EU Commission, where unelected faceless EU autocrats dictate policy across the bloc of imprisoned former sovereign nations, von der Leyen revealed that she may set Schutzstaffel and EU Stasi agents on to the Italians in order to ‘persuade’ them to vote for the ‘correct’ candidate.
“Ve already had ze problemen vis der Britisher schweinhunds who had zere EU Referendum vere zey voted in ze largest democratic vote in Englisher history to leave ze EU. Ve tried and tried to thwart ze democracy even our vell paid agents implanted in zere parliament could not stoppen zhose Scheißkerl Tommy’s.”
All the data from the exit polls point towards Meloni becoming the next democratically voted PM in Italy.
Amongst the burned out buildings, bloated bodies and charred human remains, the Russian occupiers have had a hard time finding anyone alive to vote in the sham referendum in the illegally occupied region of Donetsk, Ukraine. Thankfully, a stray dog found barely alive was enlisted to vote for Russian annexation of the Ukrainian territory. Igor the stray, has been hailed on state TV as a Russian hero for voting in the referendum to declare the completely destroyed Ukrainian territory as belonging to Russia.
“We told the dog one woof for a vote for Russia, and two woofs for a vote for Russia. Thankfully, the dog voted for Russia, so as a reward we took him to an open mass burial site where innocent Ukrainian civilians were murdered in cold blood by Russian soldiers. He can now eat as much food as he wants,” Maria Zakharova, Putin’s spokeswoman, revealed on state news.
All across Russia, posters of Igor the Stray have been displayed along with a slogan The Z Dog (Собака Z).
Russian state TV producers are even planning a children’s cartoon series featuring the Ukrainian dog forced to vote for the sham referendum.
The Dilbert cartoon strip, a much-loved mainstay of newspaper columns since the 1980s, has been sadly cancelled by the puritanical, humourless cultural Marxists. Deleted from 77 newspapers by sovietized American publishing conglomerate Lee Enterprises.
Satirising daily office life, Dilbert always gave an insight into what was really going on in the offices of America, but fell foul when the creator, Scott Adams, dared to satirise the ‘woke’ culture currently infiltrating entire swathes of the corporate landscape.
By simply addressing what is going on at any given time, is now a crime amongst the humourless, who cannot laugh at themselves anymore. The so-called tolerant liberals used to be able to have a laugh, but now are devoid of traditional liberal ideals of acceptance and of tolerance, freedom of speech, freedom of the press, the right to due process and equality under the law. They have moved so far left that there is an almost Stalinistic attitude to their actions these days. As Stalin would ‘cancel’ (have people shot or sent to a gulag) anything or anyone around him who held any sort of opposing view or individual thought, so too are the woke Stalinists cancelling anything or anyone who dares to laugh at the ridiculousness of their bastardised Marxist woke ideology.
MAD magazine of course went the same way, and now it is Dilbert’s turn. Blackadder now has trigger warnings all over it, and even George Orwell’s book 1984 has been re-written for the sovietized woke generation with trigger warnings in tow because the original book is deemed as too true in describing the dystopian nightmare of wokism. Thoughtcrime is punished daily by woke censors on social media and the all encompassing search engine that now has the power to skew elections in favour of the far-left communist totalitarian extremists dictating every thought process. Doublethink is now a very real concept and can be heard daily in the orchestrated newsrooms that control all the narrative that you are repeatedly fed.
We are obviously in the midst of witnessing the end of Western free democracy and the beginning of totalitarian communism where there is little or no distinction between the actions of Putin, the CCP, Iran or North Korea. The West has itself metamorphosised into what it used to deride and fight against in the past.
How do you prolong a recession and make it into a Great Depression? Just follow the policies of the Bank of England and Treasury. Raising interest rates are not good for business or the consumer, plus this tactic will not decrease inflation, but increase it in the long run.
Ladies and gentlemen, we are at war. The mantle of war is unpredictable, it is a global problem and not domestic, as the idiots who seem to think up policy do not realise. Whatever they do domestically is tweak things while they ignore the bigger picture.
If increasing pain upon homeowners and renters as well as businesses is the plan, then the misguided fools in charge will keep increasing interest rates.
More business owners will go bankrupt, and there will be an increase in mortgage arrears. Landlords will be forced to increase rents to service increased mortgage payments.
We can thus expect mass defaults on loans, thus causing an avalanche domino effect on the already faltering economy. Compounding this financial Armageddon, inflation will continue to rise simply because the cause is a global, external issue and not domestic.
Furthermore, the government taking out vast loans of billions of pounds to artificially increase wages and cushion skyrocketing consumer/business energy costs is a short term plaster that will impoverish Britain’s economy further as well as increase inflation because of increased consumer spending.
Reference 2008, then add multiple percentage points of misery and the increasing of interest rates is an assured recipe for a prolonged Great Depression.
What makes a man or woman brave? Those who stand up and protest tyranny despite being beaten and tortured then put into gulags, or those who stay silent cowering in fear at home waiting to be sent into a meat grinder battlefield?
If all Russian citizens stood up to the thugs, they could save their Motherland from the evil tyrannical corrupt beasts that have bullied their way into power.
There would not be enough police or buses to send away all the protesters to the new Russian gulags. If enough of the Russian population stood up for what was right for their country, they could take it back.
Yes, some blood would be shed, but sometimes the ground must be fed the blood of true Russian patriots and those fascist thugs who have effectively imprisoned and corrupted the great nation of Russia, turning it into a pariah rogue nation.
Only mentally unstable despots who have deranged minds, and schizoid delusions continually threaten atomic global destruction. Russians deserve a leader who is stable, just and fair, and one who does not use the people as cannon fodder in useless wars they can never win.
Rise up with the true Russian spirit to oust these thugs. The Russian population is 144 million. Remember that the hierarchy ruling over you number less than 2% of the population. The army will put their guns down, they will not shoot their brothers, sisters, mothers, father. All it will take is every Russian who wants freedom from this totalitarian fascist Z regime to stand up.
Что делает мужчину или женщину храбрыми? Те, кто встают и протестуют против тирании, несмотря на то, что их избивают и пытают, а затем отправляют в ГУЛАГ, или те, кто молчит, съеживаясь от страха дома, ожидая, когда их отправят на поле боя мясорубки?
Если бы все граждане России противостояли головорезам, они могли бы спасти свою Родину от злобных тиранических коррумпированных зверей, которые прорвались к власти.
Не хватит ни полиции, ни автобусов, чтобы отправить всех протестующих в новые российские ГУЛАГи. Если достаточное количество русского населения встанет на защиту своей страны, они смогут это вернуть.
Да, пролилось бы немного крови, но иногда землю надо кормить кровью истинных русских патриотов и тех фашистских головорезов, которые фактически заключили в тюрьму и развратили великий народ России, превратив его в изгоя-изгоя.
Только психически неуравновешенные деспоты, обладающие умалишенным сознанием и шизоидным бредом, постоянно угрожают атомной глобальной гибелью. Русские заслуживают стабильного, справедливого и честного лидера, который не использует народ как пушечное мясо в бесполезных войнах, в которых они никогда не выиграют.
Поднимитесь с истинно русским духом, чтобы изгнать этих головорезов. Население России составляет 144 миллиона человек. Помните, что властвующая над вами иерархия насчитывает менее 2% населения. Армия опустит оружие, они не будут стрелять в своих братьев, сестер, матерей, отцов. Все, что нужно, — это подняться на ноги каждому россиянину, который хочет свободы от этого тоталитарного фашистского режима Z.
