17.7 C
London
Tuesday, May 21, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldPolice Join Just Stop Oil Protest on M25 Motorway

Police Join Just Stop Oil Protest on M25 Motorway

THE M25 - London - The Met police who protect and enable Just Stop Oil protesters to continuously disrupt roads are now joining in protests themselves.

It’s not just about protecting and enabling eco zealot Just Stop Oil protests on busy roads, or about arresting journalists reporting on these disruptive ridiculous protests. The police are now joining the Just Stop Oil Marxist movement of mass disruption.

“We daily bring the protesters cups of tea and biccies. I found out their favourite collective biscuit of choice is the custard cream. You need a bit of sustenance after glueing your genitals to the asphalt of a major motorway,” one officer revealed.

Forget about catching violent armed robbers and burglars infesting the capital city, a good sit down with an eco Marxist has done wonders for the Metropolitan police force.

“It’s like therapy, innit? I used to get anxious about getting overtime to pay for my extension at home, but since the eco mob came along I’ve been raking it in. I tell them, they can stay on the road for as long as they want, we look after them and give them as much tea as they can drink. It has to be the sustainable tea though, farmed the eco way or they won’t touch it. We learned the hard way on that one. If any of the peasants even put a finger on our beloved eco terrorists we immediately come down on the fuckers like a brick shithouse on laxatives. Messing with our overtime is a criminal act in itself,” pc constable Paul Melchard told the BBC.

Many officers are now joining the multitude of eco protests across the capital.

“It’s quite liberating. We’re swapping our police uniforms to wear clown outfits. Did you know that when the sun shines on the earth it causes global warming? We don’t care if you have to go to hospital; you’re a polluting useless eater who should have been aborted at birth,” another policeman quipped whilst hopping around M25 junction 12 in a full clown suit.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"

2 COMMENTS

  1. If I was a policeman I too would encourage the eco mob @rseholes. Imagine the bloody overtime money and you just stand around doing nothing. It’s easy money.

  2. That film where they stick people to together from mouth to anus , human centipede , I think it was called ‘ lol , ,would sort them and the tories out.

Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

Translate »