meghan bath

Possibly channelling Cleopatra, but not quite Countess Elizabeth Bathory, the copper bath in Frogmore castle is already getting its usage quota. The Duchess of Sussex, Meghan Markle does not look a day older than her 47 years on this earth.

“Me lady bathes in asses milk every day between the hours of 8 and 10 in the morning. It is supposed to keep her young and beautiful. The milk is siphoned from the teats of virgin donkeys from a nearby farm in the Windsor estate,” the servant revealed.

It is not scientifically proven if bathing in asses milk is good for maintaining one’s youthful looks, but if Meghan Markle does it, then it must be.

The Daily Mail is already running articles targeting women on where to buy the best donkey milk and how to acquire a copper bath. The frenzy is all too apparent as many ladies across the nation are now rushing everywhere searching for asses milk to bathe in.

“It’s not something you can just buy in Tesco. When I heard Meghan does it, I bought a bunch of donkeys specifically to milk them every day. We keep them in the garage which is now an impromptu stable,” Gloria Hunnisapple, 58, from Braintree, Essex reveals in another tabloid.

Asses milk does not come cheap, and the estimated cost to the British taxpayer just for Meghan’s morning beauty regime is estimated to be approximately £8.6 million per annum.

Wherever she is, Meghan has to have fresh asses milk for her daily bathing session, or she gets extremely angry and has an assy fit.

Naturally, Prince Harry, the real ass in this whole sorry tale, now lives in a separate wing of the cottage and has no say in the matter.