Imagine the scene, overworked prostitutes who sell their wares for £4 a pot to feed their next heroin hit, up all night in some freezing dangerous Bristol street servicing punters by the double dozen, turning up at a charity for some food after a long and arduous shift, only to be confronted by a banana gift with a little ’empowering’ affirmation hastily written on it from Harry and Meghan.

“I’ve got an idea!”

Sure you have Meghan, as Harry looks on in abject horror.

One can almost imagine the sheer disappointment the ladies of the night get when the last thing they want to see is another engorged long thing sticking in their faces.

“I was up all night blowing and jerking. Must have done forty last night. I did all of that for £12.46, and this is why I need to come to the charity for food, because I spend the money on my crack fix. I got there and they stuck a large banana in me face. I nearly chundered over it, and oh look, it says ‘I’m special’ on it. I didn’t feel so special last night up to my eyeballs in greasy smelly cocks!”

One royal commentator pushed up their nose and quipped: “Does the Queen of Crassness have any other ideas to make the royals look like a bunch of absolute arseholes?”

While all this was going on, Meghan told Harry to sit in the corner and be a good boy. Poor old Harry, can’t get a word through anymore, slinking in the corner of the room, as all the prostitutes filed by one at a time banana in hand displaying looks of utter disgust and dismay.