“Mrs Beckham’s bunion caused the woman to trip up and fall thus breaking her hip, leg and cracking her cranium on the Italian marble floor. The cause of the fall was Mrs Beckham’s large bunions which obstructed the hallway where my client was walking,” Jan Geitner, the woman’s attorney told the LA Times.
State of the Bunion Address
Victoria Beckham’s bunions are the talk of Tinseltown with everyone from Steven Spielberg to James Cameron all falling over themselves to film those beautiful monstrosities.
Speaking from his latest soon-to-be blockbuster featuring yellow lizard people with blue green spots, Director James Cameron said: “I saw Victoria’s bunions and I just swooned at the size of those motherfuckers. Shit, how does her thin frame take it when she walks with those things on her feet? Does she wear flip flops? I need to cast her for my next alien flick. We won’t need CGI on her feet that’s for fuckin’ sure!”
Meanwhile, Mrs Beckham’s lawyers are preparing a dossier proving that her bunions are harmless and can co-exist safely with the general population.
“We are here to reassure the public that Mrs Beckham’s bunions are perfectly safe to ordinary people. All that folks have to do when they see her walking towards them is move aside for the bunions. It’s really that simple, then no one will get hurt,” Harry Snatch, from Fitch and Fitch Attorneys said.