Britney Spears Takes Out Restraining Order on Herself

LOS ANGELES - CA - Britney Spears, the ailing former pop mime artist, has taken out a restraining order on herself because she does not know what she is doing and has no control over herself any more.

Britney’s lawyers today were ordered by herself to put a restraining order on herself.

Judge Al Mannington has agreed that Britney, who has no control of her finances or thought processes, should be restrained from being within 10 metres of herself.

Earlier on in the day Britney tried to put a restraining order on her pet poodle Shitsy.

To date, Britney has put restraining orders on her mother, father, sisters, cousins, uncles, Sam Lutfink, Kevin Cheddarslime and her two kids.

Last week Britney wanted to put a restraining order on Governor
Schwarzenegger, but her lawyers had to tentatively inform her that she
does not know him.

The Los Angeles court system has been brought to its knees with the sheer number of Britney Spears restraining orders that have been processed.

A disgruntled paralegal told the Daily Squib: “Can you imagine the amount of paperwork we have to go through every time Britney wants to put a restraining order on someone? She has the money, so we take it. What can you do?”

The Britney restraining order on herself will go into effect from midnight Sunday. Britney, who does not have any control over her mind or thought processes, will then be ordered to stay away from herself indefinitely.