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Obama Economy: How Did It Come to This?

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“So much for the stimulus and QE. Obama has bankrupted the USA, of course, with a lot of help from the former president George W Bush, but Obama did not help, he did not remedy the situation like he could have, instead, he made it worse,” senior economist, Jeb Weinstein, told CBS news.

AAA?

The world’s equity markets could drop by 30% in the next few days unless Boehner and Obama come up with a bipartisan deal.

“Boehner’s got Obama by the balls with this debt ceiling, but I want to ask you guys, how the heck did we get in this mess in the first place? Obama says that social security checks won’t be sent out soon because America is bankrupt. Are you seriously trying to tell me that we are that close to the edge?” John Hammer, 67, a retired engineer from Colorado, told CNN.

Questions need to be asked as to how America got to this stage of immediate default? Who gave the president permission to fritter away trillions of dollars into a seemingly endless black hole? Where is the cash? Someone, somewhere has to know the answers to these questions.

While China has a surplus of cash, they do not know what to do with their buckets of money, America is struggling, it is falling slowly off the precipice, entrenched in three perpetual wars, no jobs, and with a president in debt denial.

Obama’s socialist dream is in tatters today, he had a vision, and he spent other peoples money to try and fulfil his dream, which of course never materialised. This is the same dream that all socialists have, by using other peoples money, however, soon enough, that money runs out, then what?

Check Mate

President Obama’s Marxist dreams about introducing things like social healthcare to an American system, and other pet projects, have bankrupted America. He has in effect castrated the nation, and now there is a check mate situation with no where to go. It is a sad end to a once great country, which is now so polarised and split that there could even be another civil war soon.

“People are angry that our once great nation has been hijacked by this person. We don’t yet know who Obama is, where he came from and who indoctrinated him. Who writes his teleprompter script? Certainly, without it, he is a lost puppy, a naive inexperienced little man with no f*cking cojones. Someone needs to take the reins from this loser and get us back on track,” Freddy Klusterphuck, 45, a man from Wisconsin told a local radio station.

Pack of cards

The fact is, that the U.S. economy is one big Ponzi scheme, and that is the reason why Bernie Madoff got away with his tricks for so long. The people in power knew what he was doing, because THEY were doing the same thing, except they were making the laws up. Sooner or later, the game is up for Ponzi schemes because they are not sustainable unless they keep on attracting large contributions, they eventually collapse, and this is what is going to happen to the U.S. economy. Whatever the deal is this week, rest assured that even if the U.S. raises taxes sharply and cuts all welfare funding, it will still be insolvent and will not be able to service its huge debt interest bill alone. It is too late to avert inevitable default.

Quagmire

“The Middle East sucked America in for a reason. They are playing the long game, after all, they’ve had thousands of years to perfect their strategies. What has America had? They’ve only been a nation for 200 odd years. This is why America is f*cked. They have been meddling in the affairs of nations and cultures that have been around for many thousands of years, the sheer arrogance of the U.S. has finally been brought forward, and they will pay a huge financial price for their idiocy. The people who planned America’s demise want it to be entrenched in the Middle East, the longer the U.S. is there the better it is for them. They have all the time in the world. George W Bush and his little Republican brainwashed blinkered insular Neanderthals were suckered into the wars for a reason — to eventually bankrupt America. Unless they kill every man, woman and child in Muslim countries, they will never defeat them, instead, they are the ones being defeated because every day they are spending billions of dollars in losing wars. You cannot defeat Islamic nations. One would have thought that these morons would have read a little Machiavelli,”  Charles Fortnoy, a retired history lecturer living in Somerset told the Financial Times.

Norway Massacre: Revealed Twisted Killer's 15-Page Sick Manifesto of Murder

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“It’s pure evil and every day it creates more fear, hatred and stirs up terrible trouble in Europe and Middle England, endangering lives and creating immense discord amongst the population, yes, it’s called the Daily Mail, and it spouts out so much terror and bile that it is my extreme right-wing manifesto for the next hundred years,” Anders Breivik, told a Norwegian judge in court yesterday.

According to reports, Breivik was first exposed to a copy of the Daily Mail when he was at Euston train station in London and had stopped at a newsagent to browse.

“He had just stopped at the shop to look around, and he told us he was stopped in his tracks by this awesome fearmongering headline that was written purely to create hatred for some minority group that was frankly pretty inconsequential. He paid the brown-skinned man some money and picked up the 15-page manifesto to take back to Norway. He was immediately converted and wanted to use the Daily Mail as a manifesto for his future plans,” Jurgen Schlipf, his lawyer, told the Norwegian press.

U.S. Gotta Boehner For Default

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“Obama has a serious problem. He’s got a Boehner in his back telling him how to do his job and meddling with his debt addictions. Some people like to take Viagra to get a Boehner, Obama likes to pass on that and go for the default,” Nancy Pelosi, former house speaker told the Washington Times.

Aldridge Dimebag, a Wall Street economist tried to explain the situation on Bloomberg today: “America is a few days away from defaulting and creating a massive full scale economic crash because right-wing nutters are meddling with the frickin’ debt-ceiling, or something like that. I just think the proverbial is gonna hit the fan if something is not done before the Asian markets open on Sunday.”

Every day, the parallels between the 1930s and 2011/12 are getting increasingly similar.

“2008 was like the 20s Wall Street crash, what we’re going to have now is possibly something akin to the 1930s crash. Not sure about the war situation, but that could escalate too. It’s going to be the last fight for the world’s dwindling resources. The players? Well, China, Russia and the U.S, of course,” a geo-political global analyst told Newsweek magazine.

No one knows where president Barack Obama is at the moment, but he better get his shit together some time soon or we’re all going to get it.

Winehouse Record Company Execs to Make Huge Profits

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“Our profit projections will exceed all expectations when we release Amy’s album next week. I just put out a purchase order for a new Aston Martin,” Herb Suge, chief A&R man at Island records told Billbored magazine.

It is well known within the music industry that artists’ untimely deaths are a huge opportunity to capitalise on their demise by increasing sales of albums and merchandise.

 “Back to Black” reached No. 2 on the Billboard 200 in March 2008, almost a year after it debuted, spending 78 total weeks on the chart. It has sold 2.3 million to-date, according to Nielsen SoundScan. Record executives think that they can shift millions more units after Winehouse’s death.

“It happened with Michael Jackson, he sold more albums in death than when he was alive. In fact, him living was a hindrance to record sales. Same thing with Winehouse, as a piece of software, she was troublesome whilst still alive. It is common knowledge that record companies actively encourage artists to ingest as much drugs and booze as possible. The more, the better, because it is great for sales, especially when these products finally get to their intended destination,” Earl Jenkem, CEO of Anus Records, distributor for Winehouse’s music in the US, said from his Hollywood mansion.

Robert Peston, a musicologist for Phonogram said: “People keep saying that Amy Winehouse was a genius or slightly talented. I beg to differ, you see, the people have been conditioned to accept mediocre sub-standard pap for so long that they got accustomed to it. The old adage comes to mind, feed people enough shit and that’s all they know. I would not call some dead cat wailing as genius. I call Django Reinhardt and Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart – genius. The word ‘genius’ is used too much these days, because people have lost the bar, as it is lowered lower and lower every year. This person will not be remembered in ten years time. Real geniuses are remembered for eternity. It was just crappy mediocre r&b trash sung by a little Jewish girl with a drug problem, nothing more, nothing less. So please, stop using the ‘genius’ adjectives to describe something it ain’t.”

The music biz is not known for its kindness to artists while alive, record companies make huge profits off their workhorses until they have had all of their life force spent, then the artist’s repertoire is the sole property of the record company, making for an even more lucrative eternal pay day for the companies and publishers.

Western World Shocked That Terror Atrocity Not Muslim

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The Western media was scrambling to change their headlines as it transpired that the latest terrorist atrocity was committed by a Christian right-wing fundamentalist.

Drudge headlines screamed that it was a Muslim atrocity, as did all the other American mainstream news outlets, especially Fox just after it was initially reported.

“It’s got to be the Muslims. We need another round of hatred against them, it has been cooling off as of late. America has made Muslims the new Jews and we need to carry on with the campaign to destroy them. Oh, how I miss Georgie,” a foaming at the mouth Bill O’Reilly said on his Fox news show.

People all across the world are still in major shock that such an atrocity could be committed by a Christian.

“Well we only murder people from 30,000 feet using unmanned drones and cruise missiles. That’s safe and clinical. What this chap has done is way too personal. It’s not becoming of the removed way we commit mass murder in those countries where the darkies live,” Anthea Brunscombe, from Hampshire, England told the BBC.

George W. Bush, who now lives in a Texas convalescent home for retired war criminals, said: “I just got off the hotline to Dick and I ordered an attack on Sweden. We must stop these terrorists. Remember, either you’re with us or with the terrorists. Sweden and Norway, I think they’re somewhere in Yurp I heard. Uh, I need my meds. They have nuc-u-lear WMD’s and yella cake, or was it poundcake?”

The reporter had to tentatively tell the former president that he was not in office anymore and was met with a bemused look from Mr Bush.

Cameron Wants Happy Britain

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“You may look over there and see a grey council estate with cctv cameras everywhere, chavs and hoodies hanging around vandalising everything and beating people up, but if you put these special government issue rose-tinted glasses on, all of that is gone. It’s a bloody miracle. I’m so happy now. I’ve got a job, I can pay my bills and am even able to heat my home in the winter,” Roz Blanchard, 47, an unemployed woman from Lambeth told the BBC.

The new government initiative from Whitehall will issue every person in Britain with the special rose-tinted glasses as well as a pack of happy pills so that people will be happy and not realise they are being shafted by insane levels of tax, no jobs, hugely expensive food, petrol and overcrowded cities laden with millions of illegal immigrants, Eastern European gangsters, chavs and hoodies.

“I’m much happier now. I take my Soma and I put my rose-tinted glasses on and relax. I don’t see what I used to see. Life is much easier now because I don’t know or care about what’s happening around me. In fact, I want to know who you are and what you’re doing interviewing me?” Cecil Dinklewaithe, 65, from North Yorkshire said whilst being interviewed on Sky news.

Some Whitehall officials even suggested frontal lobotomies for the majority of the population but the idea was eventually dumped after concerns it would be a huge burden on the already strained NHS.

Speaking from Whitehall, a faceless civil servant said: “If the general population were all given lobotomies, people would be a lot happier because they wouldn’t actually know who they were, or anything else. I think that would be a marvellous idea, however, due to cost restraints we have had to dump the idea.”

Get Ready For Third, Fourth and Fifth EU Bailouts

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Kicking the can down the road for the inevitable is something that is extremely dangerous. Instead of facing the problem of the PIIGS and solving this issue once and for all, the higher Northern EU countries have elected to put a temporary plaster over the debt black hole and hope it somehow goes away.

Greece will now be on its second bailout with a national debt of 340 billion euros, and after six more years of painful austerity, it will reduce its debt down by only 4%. This is for a country which has very little industry, very little prospective growth and a toxic population of militant workers who are used to not paying much tax and living off EU subsidy handouts.

“I can’t see this being worth it for the Greeks. Can you imagine the pain of the poor everyday people in Greece who will have to suffer for many years under austerity. They will have to pay more tax while the rich sail around in their yachts not paying a penny. Retiring will be a thing of the past as they have to pay their German masters,” Johnson Aros, an American economist told the Financial Times.

The current bailout could be a cover for the Northern European banks to move their money out of countries like Greece and Portugal.

The Northern European banks are heavily entrenched in these poor Southern European countries and are trying to move as much money out before the whole load is dumped on the taxpayer again. It will be very similar to Lehman Brothers, however this time the shockwave will reach Bunga Bunga land and Spain. Once that happens, dig down, because the whole world will get sucked under into the precipice.

This new round of bailouts by the EU will also impact on the British taxpayer who will have to foot some of the bill, due in part to the former Chancellor, Alistair Darling, who signed the UK up for an EU rescue fund just before he was ousted from office. Therefore, the already strained finances of the UK will be used to prop up countries that wasted and continue to waste trillions of euros.

The EU has no Treasury as of yet, and this new round of bailouts could also be the precursor for an early version of an EU Treasury.

That is another nail in the coffin for sovereignty and democracy in Europe, where the central Treasury will be all encompassing and have the power to enforce major changes in countries which have been swallowed up by the Fascist EU bloc.

As control systems go, the EU is a floating behemoth that swallows whole countries whole, assimilates them, then spits out an empty shell.

The EU destroys Individuality, it assimilates in a Borg-like fashion.

“To assimilate fully, we must first destroy completely. This is what we have done to Greece. The game is up for them, they are completely under our control,” Jean-Claude Juncker, told the EU parliament.

The Fasci rods of the Thousand Year Reich are once again back, and what’s more, they have achieved all of this without a single shot being fired.

Take one last look at the poor Greeks. They are not Greeks anymore but a beaten people, they have been defeated by unelected technocrats in lands far away up North, away from the rolling olive tree laden hills and the crystal blue Aegean sea.

Drink another Ouzo, dear Greeks, what has happened to your lands that you fought for thousands of years? They have been sold off for a cheap price as has your national identity.

Brussels Orders End to British Curries

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Britain’s love affair with the Friday night pissed up balti and vindaloo will be phased out by a new EU directive from Brussels next week as it orders British people to eat something more European.

“It’s a Brit tradition. You go down the curry house, get boozed up on eight pints of watered down lager, take the piss out of the waiters, then order a vindaloo or two. Next morning you’ll be on the khasi pissing it all out of your burning arse. It’s part of our culture, innit,” Jed Moran, 45, a man from Liverpool told the BBC.

The EU wants the new curry directive to be implemented by next week.

“Ve haf vays of making you eat frites with mayonnaise. Also you Englishers will haf to show your papers before you eat at ze restaurant und all eating zones will haf to show ze EU swastika, ahem, I mean star flag,” comrade Jacques Stasi, one of the unelected bureaucrats in charge of the operation, told Bild from Berlin on Tuesday.

All eating establishments in England and Wales will be required to only serve EU regulated meals plus regulations regarding appearance will require restaurants and eateries to fly an EU flag outside the door.

Prime Minister, David Cameron, who was last seen swimming in a sewer somewhere near Wapping, was not available for comment about the new EU directive, and probably did not care much for it either.

Kung Fu Fighting Deng Saves Murdoch

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This film is absolutely amazing. It’s about a female Kung Fu concubine who protects her master and sugar daddy. Starring new martial artist, Wendi Deng, and the Murdoch boys, there are fights galore to keep any fight enthusiast happy.

John Anselmo, 24, who saw the film in New York last night said: “There’s a great scene when an assailant tries to assault ailing grand master Rupert, but is thwarted by kung fu fighting concubine Wendi. It is absolutely awesome. The foam was flying for sure.”

“Wendi is awesome in this movie. She comes out slapping and hacking. I’m not sure which style of Kung Fu she is doing but it’s very effective,” another happy cinemagoer explained to Fox news.

The film is set to be released in the UK in September and will also be in 3D so get ready for some brutal fight scenes that will have you cowering in your seat.

Police to be Armed With Brown Paper Bags

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The police will from now on be armed with a simple paper bag so that during any form of altercation or criminal activity, money can be slipped into the bag and the issue can be resolved quickly and painlessly.

“This is going to solve a lot of crimes because once our officers receive their cash in the brown bags, they will simply walk away or even better still go on a prolonged all-expenses paid pamper spa session at Champneys. Don’t forget, we only use eco-friendly recycled brown paper bags at the Met, so rest assured we are also saving the planet as well as fighting crime,” Sir Paul Scribbers said in today’s issue of the News of the World.

The Home Secretary, Theresa May, welcomed the new police crime initiative, even going on to say that she would like a brown paper bag herself in Westminster, just like all the other MPs.

Even Prime Minister, David Cameron, chipped in on Sunday to praise the new police paper bag initiative.

“This is a great way of reducing erroneous crime statistics. If you commit a crime, you simply go to a McDonalds drop off zone, preferably in the Wapping area, signal to a policeman, who presents a brown paper bag to you. Of course, the amount of cash you deposit in the bag determines whether you walk free that day or not. This is simple economics and is a great way of solving the awful crime wave that is around at the moment. I have to reiterate that the brown paper bag means everyone’s happy, the criminal, as well as the bent copper,” the jubilant PM was quoted saying from his retreat in Chequers.