17.7 C
London
Sunday, February 25, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldCameron Wants Happy Britain

Cameron Wants Happy Britain

LONDON - England - Everyone in the UK is going to be happy, the Conservative/ Lib Dem government has vowed, with civil servants being ordered to get to work in making Britain's population see things in a different light.

buy squib book

“You may look over there and see a grey council estate with cctv cameras everywhere, chavs and hoodies hanging around vandalising everything and beating people up, but if you put these special government issue rose-tinted glasses on, all of that is gone. It’s a bloody miracle. I’m so happy now. I’ve got a job, I can pay my bills and am even able to heat my home in the winter,” Roz Blanchard, 47, an unemployed woman from Lambeth told the BBC.

The new government initiative from Whitehall will issue every person in Britain with the special rose-tinted glasses as well as a pack of happy pills so that people will be happy and not realise they are being shafted by insane levels of tax, no jobs, hugely expensive food, petrol and overcrowded cities laden with millions of illegal immigrants, Eastern European gangsters, chavs and hoodies.

“I’m much happier now. I take my Soma and I put my rose-tinted glasses on and relax. I don’t see what I used to see. Life is much easier now because I don’t know or care about what’s happening around me. In fact, I want to know who you are and what you’re doing interviewing me?” Cecil Dinklewaithe, 65, from North Yorkshire said whilst being interviewed on Sky news.

Some Whitehall officials even suggested frontal lobotomies for the majority of the population but the idea was eventually dumped after concerns it would be a huge burden on the already strained NHS.

Speaking from Whitehall, a faceless civil servant said: “If the general population were all given lobotomies, people would be a lot happier because they wouldn’t actually know who they were, or anything else. I think that would be a marvellous idea, however, due to cost restraints we have had to dump the idea.”

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -
curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press

NEWS ON THE HOUR

curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

Translate »