17.7 C
London
Saturday, March 16, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldBrussels Orders End to British Curries

Brussels Orders End to British Curries

BRUSSELS - Belgium - Unelected EU officials have ordered the death of the famous British curry and the introduction of Belgian cuisine instead.

buy squib book

Britain’s love affair with the Friday night pissed up balti and vindaloo will be phased out by a new EU directive from Brussels next week as it orders British people to eat something more European.

“It’s a Brit tradition. You go down the curry house, get boozed up on eight pints of watered down lager, take the piss out of the waiters, then order a vindaloo or two. Next morning you’ll be on the khasi pissing it all out of your burning arse. It’s part of our culture, innit,” Jed Moran, 45, a man from Liverpool told the BBC.

The EU wants the new curry directive to be implemented by next week.

“Ve haf vays of making you eat frites with mayonnaise. Also you Englishers will haf to show your papers before you eat at ze restaurant und all eating zones will haf to show ze EU swastika, ahem, I mean star flag,” comrade Jacques Stasi, one of the unelected bureaucrats in charge of the operation, told Bild from Berlin on Tuesday.

All eating establishments in England and Wales will be required to only serve EU regulated meals plus regulations regarding appearance will require restaurants and eateries to fly an EU flag outside the door.

Prime Minister, David Cameron, who was last seen swimming in a sewer somewhere near Wapping, was not available for comment about the new EU directive, and probably did not care much for it either.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -
daily squib FB Group
daily squib FB Group
daily squib FB Group
daily squib FB Group

NEWS ON THE HOUR

curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

Translate »