U.S. Gotta Boehner For Default

WASHINGTON DC - USA - The American economy is losing its hardness and getting flaccid once again, that is according to top economists afraid of a major default after talks between Obama and Boehner broke down.

“Obama has a serious problem. He’s got a Boehner in his back telling him how to do his job and meddling with his debt addictions. Some people like to take Viagra to get a Boehner, Obama likes to pass on that and go for the default,” Nancy Pelosi, former house speaker told the Washington Times.

Aldridge Dimebag, a Wall Street economist tried to explain the situation on Bloomberg today: “America is a few days away from defaulting and creating a massive full scale economic crash because right-wing nutters are meddling with the frickin’ debt-ceiling, or something like that. I just think the proverbial is gonna hit the fan if something is not done before the Asian markets open on Sunday.”

Every day, the parallels between the 1930s and 2011/12 are getting increasingly similar.

“2008 was like the 20s Wall Street crash, what we’re going to have now is possibly something akin to the 1930s crash. Not sure about the war situation, but that could escalate too. It’s going to be the last fight for the world’s dwindling resources. The players? Well, China, Russia and the U.S, of course,” a geo-political global analyst told Newsweek magazine.

No one knows where president Barack Obama is at the moment, but he better get his shit together some time soon or we’re all going to get it.