17.7 C
Saturday, June 22, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldCoronAmerica Virus Nightmare Continues

CoronAmerica Virus Nightmare Continues

FLORIDA - USA - The CoronAmerica virus continues to infect millions daily unabated, as a feeling of apathy and denial pervades the nation.

The Coronamerica virus nightmare continues unabated, as the bars fill up with drinkers and the beaches overflow with sunseekers.

“I’m here at the beach today to spread coronavirus to as many people as I can, and get a tan,” Marie Hernandez, 34, told CNN as she coughed over an elderly man next to her.

On Thursday, the country reported more than 39,000 new cases, its highest-ever single-day count, according to data gathered and analysed by The Washington Post. The counties home to Dallas, Phoenix and Tampa all reported record-high averages on at least 15 straight days in June.

2.48million Infected

In many places, the number of people sick enough to be hospitalized has also increased sharply. Those hardest hit include the largest states – California, Texas, Florida – and those that thought they had the virus under control, like Utah and Oregon.

Crowded Times Square
Times Square, New York, Coronavirus Pandemic

Deaths by coronavirus have also risen sharply, although the data is being hushed up by the administration and only lagging data is ever published, there is a resolute sense of denial and apathy permeating the country.

The bars are all full again in most cities and states, spreading the coronavirus further. In most American bars, the complementary peanuts and other condiments not only come with various bacterial niceties, but a good dose of coronavirus to spread around. There’s no social distancing as the loud music means people have to huddle together to communicate and shout to be heard. It is considered rude and un-manly to wear a mask, so no one does.

The shops are all open again, and the huge American malls are doing their bit in transferring the coronavirus to as many people as possible. Need some new shoes and a heavy dose of COVID-19, no problem, inhale the pathogen deep into your nasal cavity and wait for a few days before the virus spreads throughout your body.

With restaurants and fast-food joints all open you don’t know who is handling your food, it is just presented to you and that’s it. The people in the kitchen could all be coronavirus carriers, preparing and touching the food, sweating into it in the hot kitchens, breathing over it. Bon appetit, as you tuck into your coronavirus laden food, soon to spread all over your body.

Internal flights within the USA are all doing nicely, full to the brim with people going on vacation to other parts of the country. Within each aircraft, the air is circulated inside the cabin, spreading the breath of each passenger from one end to the other. The surfaces of the seats and tables are rarely cleaned, allowing the virus ample time to relax waiting for its next victim.

Party In Pool

The pool parties are back, and as hundreds of drunk people revel in the party atmosphere, the fecal matter from each person mixes in the water, transmitting the virus to as many people as possible.

It’s rather ironic then that the co-founder of ReOpen Maryland, who organized rallies to pressure Gov. Larry Hogan to lift the state’s stay-at-home order, said he has tested positive for COVID-19.

Tim Walters, a former Republican candidate for the General Assembly, said that he had a dry cough for months but it recently worsened. He said he then began to experience an excruciating headache, a fever and the inability to focus with one of his eyes, which led to vertigo. The diabetic is currently in hospital in a serious condition and could be put on a ventilator.

There are stories like this all over America, the gung-ho, macho Covidiots who think they are immune to the virus all succumbing to the coronavirus and many dying off without any sort of fanfare, or special send off.

The competitive commercial nature of Americans in this instance may be their worst enemy, as they cannot do anything without some sort of economic gain, their lust for money may be their own undoing.

The Fed pumps the stock markets with printed money, and the administration opens all business once again as if there never was a coronavirus pandemic. With the United States in debt for more than $20 Trillion, one wonders how long it will be before the whole shit house goes up in flames?

In another act of cruelty towards Americans, the EU is set to ban them from entering the Eurozone when restrictions are lifted next week. To further rub salt into the wounds, Chinese citizens will be allowed to travel to the EU, despite Chinese coronavirus figures being false, bringing further infections into the EU.

The augurs do not bode well for Coronamerica.

Autonomous zones, race riots, states filling up with coronavirus infected, economic recession and a policy of general apathy are ingredients for ultimate apocalyptic explosions that will be seen from space, when the fuse is finally lit.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -





The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

Translate »