“I don’t want to see a Whites Only sign again. That’s just something I hope I never get to see, even if it is all white and heavenly up there,” Mr Mandela said from his hospital bed.
It certainly would be Nelson Mandela’s worst nightmare if there was a Whites Only policy in heaven.
“Yes, they may not let blacks into heaven, but if that’s the case, then I plan on changing that rule as well,” Mr Mandela added.
A fighter to the end.
“This is the happiest day of my life. We have really achieved something here. We now have a new dictator to brutally rule over us. Hip hip hurray!” a Tahrir Square protester said whilst joyously punching the air before forcing himself onto a female protester and aggressively sexually assaulting her.
The third Egyptian revolution in five months was seen as a relatively painless affair, with minimal lynchings and rapes.
“If we get tired of one dictator, we riot so that another one is installed, then we continue with the charade. I still live in a mud brick hovel with no running water or sanitation, but I think the next dictator may be better for me and my family of 45,” Basim Al-Ghaud, a postman who delivers to the Zamalek district said before roughly assaulting a burka clad woman.
The EU is an insidious machine that creeps up on you, one minute you existed as a citizen of an individual country, the next minute you realised you had been tricked into a multi-nation bloc that assimilates as much as it can and dictates insidious laws that you must obey without question.
“A deer caught in the headlights, is a good analogy to describe the EU citizen today. They now have little or no say in their destiny. Politically, they are being ruled by unelected technocrats. Many are now unemployed or living in poverty because of the immense changes and forced austerity (wealth redistribution) drives. The EU citizens have seen their wealth disappear down the plug hole as well as many of their freedoms. Nations that used to write their own laws have now been bulldozed by Brussels. Nations that used to dictate their own economic policies have seen these castrated by Brussels and the ordinary citizens jettisoned into the gas chambers of old Europe,” Miro Katt, a researcher on the EU Com Research think tank said in a recent report.
The EU also has an amorphous plasticine pliability with regards to political systems; it utilises soviet techniques with elements of fascism, socialism and capitalism. With political ideologies that are inherently opposite to each other, there is an element of duality to the EU. It is however predominantly Christian, although the religion part is merely for the masses, the technocrats controlling the EU juggernaut are most certainly of another persuasion.
“Europe has always used the Christian element as its core, especially for the plebeians. The elites of course use the ruse of Christianity but are members of secret societies. Makes it sound a bit cultish, however if one looks at the Nazis, they were obsessed by the occult and secret societies. Deep down, the EU is the embodiment of the thousand year Reich, with a seemingly less militaristic face. When eventually the EU brings forth a specific EU military force or army, then it may reveal its true colours, however at the moment it is still defining itself economically and destroying individual nation states so they can join the collective. World War 2 was the building block,” the researcher revealed.
“You can’t have affirmative action in a court case. Just because someone is a particular colour or there are threats of riots if certain sections don’t get their own way. Justice is justice, and George Zimmerman will soon be a free man,” someone outside the court said when standing on a soap box. He was summarily pelted with rotten tomatoes by the black crowd, but what he said was invariably the truth.
The evidence all too clearly points towards a lawful defence by George Zimmerman from attacker Trayvon Martin.
This may be a small victory for all those ‘creepy ass crackers’ out there but for America it is symptomatic of a deeply sick society blighted by a fathomless pit of seething racial hatred.
“The prosecution’s star witness seemed to be working for the defence in this case. As for the all white jury, I’m sure they will get some stick for their decision but they should hold their heads high for they have done nothing wrong apart from free a man who has done nothing wrong,” another court side spectator said.
“People with jobs need to work harder so they can pay for extra stables in our lavish grounds,” Shazza Munter, 34, told the BBC.
People around Britain who break their backs working to pay tax were urged to work harder so that thousands of benefits families can have a better lifestyle.
“Well, there’s the swimming in the morning, then I have brunch, after that I do some intense Nintendo workouts on one of our 45 inch 3D tellys, then I have a bit of high tea, naturally laced with 110% proof vodka. By 3.30 pm I usually ride my horses, and then each child has their own taxi back from the local school. Dinner is served in front of each child’s own television and computer. We have to take a taxpayer funded holiday every three months because it’s hard living like this, innit? We’re off to Tuscany next week,”
The government needs to urgently raise more funds to cater for the thousands of benefits families who have never worked a day in their lives to live a life of enduring luxury.
“It is imperative that working taxpayers work harder so they can pay the bill for these benefit families. Just think, every bead of sweat on your forehead and every penny you make every day is going towards their joy and happiness. Enjoy!” a Minister at the Department of Work and Pensions said yesterday.
“Looks like it’s longer hours and less pay for you’se lot, innit,” Ms Munter said laughing, as she rode into the sunset on her horse.
“I actually don’t know what to do with all the money. I’ve got three houses now, four duck houses and a fleet of chauffeur driven Bentleys,” MP for Harlow, Essex Donald Trumpet revealed.
These pay rises have caused serious anguish amongst parliamentarians and there is a call now to increase MP salaries even further to alleviate the guilt they feel.
“I feel deeply guilty about it. I have just been forced to award myself a 35% increase in salary. Sometimes I can’t look at myself in the mirror. Haha haha hah! Yippee!” another MP said snorting wildly.
“Global unity is a good thing. Unity in every form is a good thing, as opposed to division and conflict. No religion, no war, no division. Humanity must be united as one single globe, economically and culturally. It is a much simpler and efficient process of existence for the human condition,” an unknown NWO officer revealed to the world press yesterday.
To achieve global unity all human systems may need an outer catalyst, as 911 and Pearl Harbour were techniques instrumental in uniting the American people for a limited time, there may have to be some other defining moment in humanity to occur for all humans to join as one.
“Human history and the human psyche itself is predominantly a combative conflict ridden elemental force. One must transcend this human urge of wasteful conflict and channel it towards new levels of peaceful consciousness. Can we control humans to not be combative? Can we stop humans believing in past outdated control systems? Can we transform individuals to act as one cohesive form? These are the questions that need to be asked, because as an individual, the human cannot exist well in a true global network.
“Since 1945, has the United Nations achieved any of its goals? I would say no. This is why, we have superceded them and must step up the plan with precise technical urgency, as global unity must include everything and everyone, eliminating disparity, poverty, conflict and inequality. You are all the same. We will unite you through technology. There will be some who fight, but they cannot win against the power of total global technological superiority,” the mysterious NWO worker added.
“The internet(s) is going to be so boring without Alec, he makes it so entertaining,” one twitter user tweeted yesterday.
The hot headed Hollywood actor shut his twitter account down for the fifth time last month after another hilarious angry tirade that had many of his fans whooping with joy.
“You ever seen a kettle blow up? That’s probably what he looks like when he’s furiously typing away on the tiny keyboard on his smartphone with the veins on his forehead snapping away about some insignificant nonsense. It would be a joy to watch, hilarious in fact,” another Baldwin fan revealed.
John Lazarus, 23, a prominent tweeter from Kentucky said: “What happens if he gets a fly in his Cheerios? Man, I would love to see that!”
Mr Baldwin was not available for comment, but his PA overheard him saying this from his office after a coffee spillage:
“F*ck, f*ck, f*ck, c*nt motherfu*king f*ckers,
f*cking assh*le, sh*t head, f-u-ck!
Aaaaargh! Aaaaargh! Argh! Huaaargh!”
“Commies are now bugging commies. Now that comes as a surprise,” a man on a desert island said.
Who would have thought it, the Obama administration is collecting data on every communication in the EU.
“They’re bugging everyone else so it stands to reason that Obama’s commie crew are going to bug the EU commie crew. Makes perfect sense,” a surveillance specialist said.
Do bears sh*t in the woods, is the Pope Catholic?
“I gadda take da brick, you know one brick, then lay it on da uahdda brick, then lay annuda brick! I love it. It is so ex-c-i-t-ing! You seddus u-u-hp! It’s all bullsh*t, all of it! I gadda do all da dirty woirk but it’s wurth it!” the elated former actor, Arnold Schwarzenegger said from his Hollywood Hills mansion.
There are many hours of fun to be had with the new hobby and the Hollywood legend has already built numerous things with his newly found skill.
“I builted vun wa-a-ll here, and annuda wall deyar and I vant to builtedannuda wall deyar!” Arnie said with a big grin.
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