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World

Comrade Gordon Brown Cleanses Britain of Sovereignty

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Lady Mucca Heather Mills Running Around in Circles

World

US Meets Mass Killing Targets in Iraq

World

Labour Government to Ban Guns in UK

World

Comrade Brown and Darling Vision of Change Policies Announced

World

Unelected Supreme Comrade Gordon Brown Delays Non-Election

Entertainment

Peter Fincham BBC1 Head Displayed at the Tower

Entertainment

Britney’s Yorkshire Terrier Rescued

World

Gordon Brown Rewards Proles with £5 per Gallon Pledge

World

CCTV Cameras to Spy on CCTV Cameras

Entertainment

OJ Simpson to Perform Prison Puppet Shows for Inmates

World

Bush to Invade Burma

Entertainment

Hollywood Drug Shortage Blamed on Coogan

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Paris Hilton Goes Souvenir Hunting in Rwanda

Entertainment

Paul McKenna Promises to Make You Slimmer

Entertainment

Size Minus Four Models In – Size Zero Out

World

15 Yr Old Boy Awarded ASBO For AK-47 Shooting Skills

Sci/Tech

Archaeologists Find Preserved Mummy in Milan

World

Bush’s Radioactive Dinner Jacket Party Plan in Iran

World

China: 4 MPH Road Speed Limit Upgraded to 6 MPH

World

Alan Greenspan Admits Iraq War was Really for Oil

Business

Northern Rock to be Renamed Northern Pebble

World

General Petraeus Updates George W Bush on Successful US Defeat in Iraq

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New Study Reveals Junk Food Bad for You

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