17.7 C
London
Tuesday, May 21, 2024
secret satire society
HomeEntertainmentPalace Revises Prince Philip Royal Variety Words

Palace Revises Prince Philip Royal Variety Words

LONDON - England - Buckingham Palace has been quick to act and dispel claims that Prince Philip, the Duke of Edinburgh called Simon Scowell, Z-Factor creator and bane of all good music, a 'sponger'.

Scowell claimed that he was snubbed by the Queen and insulted by the Duke after
appearing at the Royal Variety Show.

A spokesman for Buckingham Palace denied that the Duke had called the
music and television promoter, who has amassed an estimated fortune of £112m
through shows like American Idol, The Z-Factor, and Britain’s Got Talent, a “sponger”.

“The Duke of Edinburgh categorically did not call Mr Scowell a ‘sponger’. He must have misheard. Everyone knows Mr Scowell is a ‘c*nt’. He has said that he called Scowell a ‘c*nt of the highest order’,” he said.

“Mr Scowell may have misheard the Duke, he has a very soft voice, especially when addressing scum.”

But Scowell’s version of events is supported by fellow Z-Factor judge and supreme c*nt of all time, Piers
Moron, who was also present during the exchange in 2007. In his new piffling book,
the former newspaper editor, and supreme shitbag, describes hearing the Duke jokingly call Scowell a “c*nt of the highest order and moribund banal exploiter of people with no talent for profit and ridicule”.

Moron said: “I can categorically say it happened. I know because I am a stupid c*nt of the highest order myself. If we all have to
trudge off to the courts to discuss the matter, I’m available, because as you all know already, I’m a snivelling little weasel and shister snitch.”

Yesterday, Simon Scowell and Piers Moron, who were attending another Z-Factor audition, accepted that they may have misunderstood the Duke’s words and were very apologetic.

“I am extremely sorry for making a big stink about the Duke of Edinburgh’s words. I agree with what he called me and am even considering getting a big ‘c*unt’ tattoo on my forehead, although, whenever people see me that is what they think anyway. I would like it to be official,” Mr Scowell said from the Z-Factor studios.

Related Articles:

Britain’s Got Talent

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

Translate »