17.7 C
Tuesday, May 21, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldUgly Spector Just Wanted to Get Laid

Ugly Spector Just Wanted to Get Laid

LOS ANGELES - USA - Music Industry insiders and psychiatrists have revealed that Phil Spector, 68, was such an 'ugly dude' he had to hold women at gunpoint just for them to stay in the same room as him.

If you were as ugly and lonely as Phil Spector you might be frustrated too, say prominent psychiatrists and luminaries of the Music Industry.

“Phil never managed to get laid once in his life. It didn’t matter how much money he paid hookers or any of the women, he just could not get laid because the dude was an ugly motherf*cker. He actually looks like a lizard, one girl told me after he held her at gunpoint for three hours before she finally escaped through a fifth floor bathroom window,” Ron Silverman, a long time Spector hanger-on and drug supplier told the Daily Squib.

Many women escaped with their lives after being around Phil Spector, Lana Clarkson was not so lucky and she was the last straw for him.

“That night he must’ve finally flipped. These women could not stay in his presence for more than 15 minutes, so Phil would have to lay down another $1000 for them to stay. He would sometimes try drugging them so that they could look at his face or even touch him but that was too much for some and they would leave the money even if they were homeless. His adopted kids also could not stand Phil either. Hell I’ve even seen nuns cringe when they come with two feet of this dude,” Spector’s chauffeur confided during the court case.

Phil Spector was one of the most famous music producers of all time and was credited with inventing the “wall of sound” but unfortunately for him he will be languishing behind bars for the rest of his life in “walls of concrete”.

“He was testament to what happens when cousins breed. Phil wanted to be a big shot in the Music Biz, well he finally got his chance that’s for sure,” Ed Mahoney, a rep for Atlantic Records said after Spector was convicted of murder.

It is not yet known if Spector will be allowed to take his wigs into prison with him but there is some good news for the ailing ex-producer — he will finally be able to get laid, albeit by some huge black gangbanger looking for a pasty white b*tch to f*ck.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"


  1. Hello swantosad – order diazepam It will do you good if you will read the prescription in order to be guided properly. valium drug Disparide tends to magnify sedation temporarily by influencing the absorption to be faster. valium drug Though some varieties of Diazepam are available as non-prescription drug, consulting with a physician is extremely important.

Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -





The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

Translate »