Gay U.S. Marines Fancy Taliban Fighters

A gay Taliban commander in Helmand province demands a bigger supply of gay U.S. marines for his men

KABUL – Afghanistan – Openly gay US marines are so infatuated by the Taliban that they are even compiling websites and posters of their favourite fighters.

The U.S. military top brass is at its wits end with their gay soldiers who are meant to shoot the Taliban, but in fact prefer to ogle pictures of them and blow kisses at them whilst on patrol.

“When Obama said that the military has to accept openly gay soldiers we thought it was progress, that is until the combat started. I tell ’em to shoot, they blow kisses and wink. You try to keep cover while a gay soldier sashays up and down the street trying to get the attention of the local Taliban commander,” Major General, Lance Boyle, told Reuters.

Interestingly enough, many of the Taliban are actually homosexual, so the U.S. military wants to use the gay U.S. marines as bait to flush them out of their caves and shoot them.

“We put PFC little Billy Twinker over there outside a cave with his butt in the air, and the Taliban come from miles away for that. That’s when we shoot them,” Sergeant Bill Staines, told CNN.

  • Mary

    OM EFFN G,,,you call this satire, yet you say it should be taken "fu**ing seriously",,,were you lieing then, or are you lieing now? "Is everything you say a lie,,,including that? "If everything you say is a lie, then your telling the truth, yet everything you say is a lie???????" "Does not compute, does not compute,,,Norman, Norman"!!!

    Whatever the case, your entire article is absurd, we all know there's no such thing as gay Muslims, not because Ahmadinejad says so, but because Taliban prefer goats,,,can I get a BA-AA-AA???

    I know Marines like fried chicken, perhaps we should locate a few villages that have chickens and napalm them, pick the chickens out of what's left and have a B-B-Q,,,huyaw!!!

  • Burp

    There's a sight I never thought I'd see – a Taliban soldier with collagen lips! No wonder they can't bring themselves to shoot them, they're too hot Phwoar!