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HomeWorldRevealed: Cause of the Technical Failure at Heathrow and Gatwick Airports

Revealed: Cause of the Technical Failure at Heathrow and Gatwick Airports

LONDON - England - After a major outage at Heathrow and Gatwick airports, we can finally reveal the cause of the entire episode.

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More than 1,300 flights to and from at least 15 UK airports were cancelled yesterday after a major technical issue hit National Air Traffic Services (NATS). Tens of thousands of holidaymakers were left stranded for hours, with distressed passengers reporting being left waiting on runways or left without food or water for hours.

This note was discovered in one of the data centres:

Вы, британские идиоты, всё ещё ищете сбой в программном обеспечении управления воздушным движением, из-за которого все самолеты застряли в ваших дурацких аэропортах. Неужели вы настолько тупые? Наши хакеры — лучшие в мире. Мы также сотрудничаем с китайскими хакерами. Наш повелитель Владимир Путин велел нам в этот раз сработать как надо, и мы это сделали. Британия беззащитна благодаря вашему лейбористскому правительству, состоящему из слюнтяев и гребаного социалистического сброда.

В общем, тупые английские придурки, у меня встреча с бутылкой водки и красивой молодой русской проституткой.

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