Fuera Gringos! Viva La Flat White! Viva La Revolución!

The glass was gone, swept up like some bourgeois after-party shame. Only a ghostly pink smear clung to the stucco like lipstick on a corpse, remnants of a short, sharp war fought on the sacred tiles of a Starbucks in Condesa. The battle cry of the disenchanted and disenfranchised was clear: “Fuera Gringos!” they shouted in unison. The war was brief, frenzied, furious, and absurdly caffeinated. And, make no mistake, the damage had been done. The line between latte and class war had been crossed.

VIDEO | Luxury stores and some U.S.-based restaurants were vandalized during an anti-gentrification protest in Mexico City. Thousands are protesting the displacement of Mexican residents due to rising housing costs. pic.twitter.com/0vJ1zNwL8G

— Antifa_Ultras (@ultras_antifaa) July 7, 2025

It was just another pleasant Friday in gentrified Mexico City, gringos in wide-brim hats sipping flat whites, their MacBooks open like little capitalist altars, when the Anti-Gentrification Front descended like a demented Marxist punk rock cavalry.

‼️FUERA GRINGOS ‼️
Es la protesta contra la gentrificación en la Condesa, en la CDMX.
Reclaman que, por los extranjeros, los capitalinos se quedan sin vivienda, todo sube de precio y desplazan a los pobres a las orillas de la Ciudad. pic.twitter.com/lTt1eGBgJY

— EL GALLO MX (@elgalloomx) July 5, 2025

A procession of the disenchanted Zapatistas, the priced-out, furious locals and their Marxist sympathisers, chanting slogans and swinging signs like clubs. This was a planned hit on the glossy heart of global suburbia. The “fuck the gringo” modus operandi here was if the “vile capitalist swine” Trump is kicking Mexicans out of the USA, then Mexicans would kick the moneyed gringos out of Mexico.

They didn’t come for the coffee. They came for the symbols, the beige, tastefully air-conditioned Instagram occupation of foreign wealth infiltrating their proud nation.

And when they reached the Starbucks? Boom. The sound of glass exploding like liberation. Chairs went airborne. Delicate pastries were looted and launched into the crowd like carbs of righteous vengeance. Some bearded hipster in a floral shirt and sandals barista hit the deck. Someone screamed. Probably in English.

Meanwhile, in Mexico they want to kill the gringo because the rent is too high pic.twitter.com/lvnflpDUIn

— Karli Bonne’ 🇺🇸 (@KarluskaP) July 5, 2025

Signs waved in the hot smog: “Expat = Gentrifier!” and “Gentrification is Colonisation!” It was performance art. It was revolution. It was a targeted cultural exorcism with matcha foam.

The internet went nuclear. Videos of fallen muffins and sobbing freelancers lit up social feeds, sparking another round of navel-gazing among the digital nomads, land speculators, and shister local liberals. What had gone wrong in the land of mezcal and imported almond milk?

The truth? This war didn’t start last Friday. It began during the pandemic, when hordes of restless gringos — those pandemic-weary cyber pilgrims — fled lockdown cities and descended on CDMX like an inglorious plague of iPhone-wielding locusts.

Mexico, with its open borders and closed mouths, offered cheap rent, good weather, and no questions asked.

Roma and Condesa became colonies of avocado toast. Spanish retreated. English dominated. “Concept stores” popped up like fucking mushrooms selling incense, vinyl, and fashion that looked like it was curated by some hallucinating AI on Ayahuasca. And the food? It pivoted — hard. Some locals claim you can’t even find proper Mexican grade tacos any more without scanning a QR code and answering three questions in English.

Back at ground zero, the Starbucks had reopened — sort of. Half-full. And eerily whitewashed.

This is the gentrification paradox: locals feeding off the suppurating golden teat of global capital while also choking on its lactose.

Political analysts pointed out the geopolitical symbolism. The protest happened on July 4, Independence Day for the empire up north. Trump was back in the White House, ICE raids were back on the menu, and some protesters even carried Palestinian flags, making this a war of optics as much as economics.

The United States, true to form, responded with weaponised snark. Homeland Security posted a message that only Kafka could love:

If you are in the United States illegally and wish to join the next protest in Mexico City, use the CBP Home app to facilitate your departure. https://t.co/P2vKuhbp65

— Homeland Security (@DHSgov) July 6, 2025

Because nothing says “freedom” like app-based deportation.

And so here we are on the bleeding edge of a latte-fuelled class insurrection, where the front lines run through upscale bakeries, boutique hotels and globalised yoga studios. The revolution might not be televised, but it will be livestreamed. In 4K. With subtitles.

God help us all.