A top secret Kremlin UK invasion plan has been leaked by a mole working in the FBS, it has been revealed.
Claiming Asylum to Invade Britain
Putin’s forces are planning to invade the UK in rubber dinghies across the channel, and there’s nothing the UK can do about it. Utilising the ECHR, and EU regulations as well as immigration lawyers paid off by the Russians, the UK will be powerless in halting the invasion.
According to the source inside the Russian hierarchy, the thousands upon thousands of migrants being trafficked across the Channel from France every week was a major inspiration for the clandestine invasion plan.
“It’s much like D-Day, except with rubber dinghies, vodka and Kalashnikovs. Putin plans to import over 600,000 Russian troops to France, whose porous borders within the Schengen zone are like Swiss cheese. The French don’t give a fuck, and praise any misfortune that falls upon Britain. They’ll turn a blind eye, as usual, as the Russian troops armed to the teeth board the rubber dinghies for the short crossing. The French navy will escort them halfway across, and then a British ship will escort the troops to shore in the UK, where they will claim asylum to invade Britain and take it over.
“Called Operation Rezinovaya Utka (rubber duck) the Russians are all set to go after weeks of training for the mission.
“Once in Britain, the Labour government will gladly place all 600,000 Russian troops up in 4-star hotels across the country and even give each soldier spending money paid for by the UK taxpayer.
“The Russian troops will then be well-positioned to simply exit the hotels whenever they want to rampage, pillage and rape their way through each British city, town and village much like all the young foreign men coming across the Channel for years have been doing all this time,” a British double agent revealed on Tuesday.
Sadly postponed
The top secret Kremlin UK invasion plan was scheduled for next week, but because of the huge number of economic migrants currently crossing the Channel, there is a shortage of rubber dinghies in Europe and the Balkans, so it may have to be postponed till September, the Kremlin source added.
When confronted by the plan in parliament today, British PM Keir Starmer said that he intends to give the French another £438 million to do nothing about it.
Russian people are all killers.
I completely get the sentiment of this article. It’s getting beyond parody and satire what is going on right now. The French are useless do not ever consider making a “deal” with them. They are pathetic surrender monkeys on the take. Muppets the lot of them.
Bro you owe me a new keyboard
When the orcs are coming over in their rubber dinghies I bet they will be met with joy by Liebour.
Get this thru your thick brains you fools. This is an actual plan by the Russians to flood Britain with migrants.
A friend sent me the link. Good one! lmfao
The Russians should not be underestimated in their plans. They could easily send over loads of agents disguised as asylum seekers and get away with it. It’s the easiest way to get into the UK undetected.
Don’t worry the Labour guv will sort it out they’ll give them all asylum and benefits. I’ve heard they’re now giving each asylum seeker a BMW 3 series and a flat in Chelsea Harbour.
the suka blyat boys can come over any time. Britain is a holding cell for rubbish from all over the world.
When Putin nukes Britain that is all that is needed. Sarmat will give good radiation
Trump has abandoned Europe but he will not abandon the UK. Just don’t think he is going to give us any special treatment.
Hey there is nothing absoltely to worry about this is a scaremonger story written by obvious idiots from the Daily Squab or whatever it is called. Do not believe a word they write it is all fake news. If I want real news I go to CNN or the BBC. Do nt read this trash piece from a trash tabloid. Hey Daily Squib stop posting BS it aint funny and neither are you. What do you think you are doing here?!?!?
This fooled me mum LOL
iT MAKES A GREAT POINT ACTUALLY WELL DOE
I reckon the plan would work. Just different ppl doing the invasion.
haha good one
The Squib does it best.
The headline actually fooled me. Again more delicious satire from the DS.
Seriosly this is a viable plan by the Russkies. If they came here on rubber dinghies claiming asylum they would get away with it. They don’t even need weapon.
Putin is a genius if he came up with this plan. Flawless.
This is why I read the Daily Squib it’s just kinda serious but funny at the same time. Incredible.
I was expecting something else but I got a good laff thanks for cheering up my crap day.
BULLSH7T