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Britain's First Face Transplant Hailed a Success

LONDON - England - Surgeons have completed Britain's first ever face transplant, the Daily Squib exclusively reports.

Recession Britain: Government Scientists Now Say 70 Minutes in Hour

LONDON - England - In a bid to increase productivity during the recession, politicians have ordered scientists and mathematicians to find a way of sticking an extra ten minutes onto a 60 minute hour.

Pill to Erase Memories of Living in Gordon Brown’s Britain

LONDON - England - A widely available blood pressure pill could one day help people erase bad memories of having to survive in Britain, perhaps treating massive anxiety disorders and the trauma of living in the UK under Labour's Brown nightmare, according to a Dutch study published on Sunday.

London Voted Best World City for Quality of Life

LONDON - England - Ken Livingstone, the London Mayor and Gordon Brown, Prime Minister have commissioned a think tank to conduct a study on London's high standing world status.

Rottweiler Attacks Down for December

SCUNTHORPE - England - Statistics for the month of December suggest an easing off of Rottweiler attacks on the Chav populations in England and Wales.

Dumb Britain

LONDON - England - Britain under Labour has plummeted educationally in the International Education League Table. Is Britain coming close to the education level of the USA?

Record Number of Britons Leaving Sinking Ship UK for Better Life...

LONDON - England - With the streets full of feral hoodies intent on violence, Eastern European criminal gangs, no police, horrible weather, the sky high expense of living in misery, overcrowded, overpopulated, high pollution and traffic, chavs, thousands of CCTV cameras and increasing Big Brother society - What is the point in staying in the UK any more?

Britain’s Got Talent

LONDON - England - Simon Scowell, Piers Moron and some dozy bint pick a winner out of the talented Brits on display for turgid reality show Britain's Got Talent.

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