17.7 C
London
Friday, June 21, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldComrade Starmer: "Your State Pension Will Be My Personal Socialist Spending Spree"

Comrade Starmer: “Your State Pension Will Be My Personal Socialist Spending Spree”

MANCHESTER - England - Labour leader Comrade Starmer plans on taxing your state pension to use as his personal spending piggy bank.

Imagine the horror, you’ve worked the entirety of your life and are now about to receive a state pension, so at least your twilight years will be somewhat liveable. Nope! Not if Comrade Starmer comes into power it won’t, because he wants to raid Britain’s pensions by taxing them heavily, and then he wants to piss all that stolen money away into tinpot useless socialist black hole projects that benefit no one apart from the few socialist big wigs at the top of whatever scheme that is being funded. You sir, madam, can kiss your state pension goodbye, and also your will to live, especially when that Labour council £3,900 Council Tax bill plops through your letter box. Don’t forget all those other expensive bills that will come through your letter box as well. The electricity, gas, Labour garden tax, Labour eco tax, Labour tax upon tax upon tax. Might as well top yourself now before it’s too late.

Retirees will be dragged into paying income tax on state pension from 2027 if Labour is elected, impoverishing millions of people who may already be struggling with the high cost of living in the UK

Under Labour’s evil Stasi reign, pensioners would be hunted down like animals, hung upside down until every little penny was relinquished from their pockets, then discarded into the putrid bin of socialist inequity ready to be robbed further when they pop their clogs with more death taxes and inheritance tax.

Millions of pensioners will be dragged into “retirement tax hell” after Comrade Starmer condemns them to a future of taxman rape.

The Labour leader also refused to rule out keeping the poorest pensioners out of paying income tax.

It means at least two million struggling older people face having to deal with HMRC for the rest of their sorry lives to make the tax payments under the rigorous assessment system.

Labour’s sneering Shadow Stasi Chancellor Rachel Reeves has also flat out refused to deny the Labour plan to keep the state pension tax-free. This would hit the elderly with a “retirement tax”, that would impoverish millions by taxing their already measly state pension.

“I’ve voted Labour all me life, I have, an’ I’m still gurna vote for them because I’m a thick cunt who doesn’t know what 2 + 2 equals, innit. Let them tek all me money. I do as they say. If they wants me money, tek it! Vote Labour like me, a thick cunt who will be wrung out ta dry after the election, innit!” a daft Labour voter revealed on Wednesday from his poverty-ridden hovel in Manchester.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"

2 COMMENTS

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

Translate »